Wreck Me | Hisollumi AU (hiatus)

21.

tw: use of transphobic slurs, bullying and mentions of violence.

21.

Hisoka had been feeling nervous since the day before especially because Illumi hadn't made any contact with him after the news broke out. There was no way he would ever forgive him for what he'd done.

"I'm such a fucking traitor," he mumbled, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.

A loud knock at his front door made Hisoka look up in shock and he carefully treaded towards it. The redhead took a deep breath and slowly pulled the door open, not surprised to see Illumi standing behind it. Hisoka stepped aside to let him in and Illumi walked into the apartment, a blank expression on his face.

It was nothing but pure silence as the older man quietly closed the door and turned to look at his guest, his eyes slowly averting to the floor. "I didn't think you'd come over."

"I didn't want to," Illumi muttered under his breath.

Hisoka hated the tense atmosphere between them and anxiously traced the outline of his knuckles as he cleared his throat. "Illumi, I—"

"Why did you do it? After everything I did just to be with you, why...?" The dark-haired male bit back the words he wished to say and let out a deep sigh.

"I was forced to do it," Hisoka began to explain. "Chrollo and Pariston both blackmailed me and said that if I didn't help them, they would hurt Machi. I couldn't just let them do that..."

Illumi remained calm as he spoke, quietly saying, "So, what? You decided that it was better to ruin my family instead?" The redhead pursed his lips, deciding against speaking out. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"They said that they would have killed you if I tried to warn you! I would never have allowed something like that to happen."

"Well, I'd rather be dead than have to deal with what you've just put me through now! Every single syndicate thinks that the oldest son of the Zoldyck's is a loose cannon who can't resolve problems outside of murder. My entire family is falling apart because of the fucking decision that you decided to make."

Hisoka could feel the tears running down his cheeks and quickly wiped at them, feeling that he was undeserving of sharing his emotions in such a way. He never realised that Pariston's plan would cause this much trouble for the former and in a single day at that. Maybe he should have left the Troupe when he had the chance.

The redhead took in a shallow breath to steady his voice. "Illumi, it was a mistake, I didn't think—" A lamp shattering to the floor cut him off and Hisoka felt his heart beat faster.

That familiar fear of the past was settling into his chest once again.

"Cut the bullshit, Hisoka. This isn't something you'd call a mistake," Illumi informed him with an icy glare. "A mistake is me thinking that I could even put the tiniest bit of trust in you. A mistake was assuming that you would never betray me the way you just did. A mistake was falling in love with you and calling it the best decision of my life..."

"You regret falling in love with me?" Hisoka had never gotten the chance to hear Illumi confess his love for him but this was not the way in which he hoped it would go. "You don't mean that..."

"I do."

'I'm the only one who will want you,' Chrollo's voice echoed within the back of his mind. Hisoka aggressively shook the voice out of his mind and gripped his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You can't! You just can't..."

Illumi was surprisingly taken aback by how vulnerable Hisoka was acting towards him and almost felt guilty. But the feeling quickly disappeared after remembering why he had shown up in the first place.

The dark-haired male quickly looked away from him and turned to the door. "I'll be leaving now. I can't stand such pitiful behaviour."

The door opened and closed softly but the echo of it was so loud within Hisoka's skull and he couldn't help but cry. He couldn't believe how right Chrollo had been, that falling in love again would only leave him hurt. Falling in love with Chrollo had left him hurt as well but this was far worse than he could bear.

His eyes stung from all the tears and he looked like nothing but a mess but he had to go to someone. He had to go to him.

Even though the urge was wrong but going back would bring some stability into his life and that is exactly what Hisoka needed.

🖤

Kalluto had always hated the thought of going to school but it only seemed much more unbearable after hearing the state his family was in. The adults had decided not to inform their three youngest children about anything that was happening but Kalluto had already heard the news through the mouths of gossiping butlers.

His sudden awareness of all the troubles befalling his family caused nothing but a deep sense of worry. Kalluto knew that it was wrong of him to not tell his siblings but it would also be wrong to tell his parents' secret. This was all too much for him to even think about.

As the boy was lost in thought he heard a small tap on his desk and wasn't surprised to see Zushi looking at him worriedly. "Luto-kun, are you okay?"

'Luto-kun' was a nickname Zushi had come up with in the first few weeks of them being friends and it wasn't something that Kalluto could say he was fond of.

"I'm okay, just a little tired," he admitted with a hesitant smile.

Zushi frowned a bit in worry. "Are you still getting those weird dreams?"

Kalluto decided to remain silent and not answer. The dreams were usually of him hurting others and the boy was uncomfortable with going into detail about them, which is why Zushi only knew them as being "weird". The boy was afraid of telling his own family, especially because he didn't want to risk being hated by Alluka due to them. Or his father finding out.

As the two of them were about to continue their conversation, a group of boys approached the pair. Kalluto's expression grew dark and uncomfortable, his eyes immediately locking onto the desk in front of him.

"Oi, Kalluto, it's been a while since we last spoke hasn't it?" The mentioned boy remained silent and Zushi merely frowned at the interaction. "Don't be like that. How's Alluka? Is he still pretending to be a girl?"

"Alluka isn't pretending to be a girl, she is a girl," Kalluto muttered under his breath.

"Oh, yeah, he's one of those tr*nnys isn't he?"

The Zoldyck boy was silently fuming and his friend was visibly becoming angered with the situation and stepped up to the two boys. "Will you two stop it? Whether you want to believe it or not, Kalluto's sister will always be a girl so leave the two of them alone."

The boys were silent and Zushi stood his ground even though their stares made him want to cower. Kalluto was angry as it was that these boys were picking on his sister in front of him and he stopped himself from lashing out. But one wrong move would lead to trouble for all of them.

"What?" One boy questioned and stepped closer, Zushi instinctively backing away. "Are you gay for him or something, what's with all the crap you're say—"

A fist landed against his cheek and everyone was surprised to see that the culprit was Kalluto. Zushi turned to his friend in shock, fearful of his harsh stare.

"Luto-kun...?"

🖤

happy new year, my precious whores🖤