I woke up to a pounding head, a light trail of drool falling from my mouth, and my face stuck to something cold and metal. I groaned as sat up, the metal pulling skin as I tried to seperate it from my face. My hand wiped the drool from my mouth as my eyes turned to look at my uncomfortable pillow.
Shit.
I threw myself from my bed, staring at it in shock. What did I do?
Captain America's shield was laying in my bed.
Disclaimer: I do not know Captain America and have never met him in my entire life.
I ran from my room clad in only a very baggy t-shirt and my ratty running shorts from college. I found my best friend, Joey, asleep on the couch and quickly shoved him onto the ground.
"What the hell!" He yelled, rubbing his face.
"What. Happened. Last. Night." I gritted out through my teeth.
"I dunno, I was also drunk out of my mind, idiot!" He groaned, rolling on the floor. "Ugh, I think I'm gonna throw up."
"Well we better figure it out because I have Captain America's shield in my bedroom right now!"
"No no no no no, I thought that was a dream!" He shot up from the ground, throwing a hand over his mouth. I gagged as I heard him throw up into his mouth a little before swallowing it again.
"You're disgusting!"
"Shut up, Super!" Joey muttered, taking a deep breath.
"What did you think was a dream then, huh?" I asked. "How did I end up with a vibranium shield that belongs to the most notable super hero to ever exist!"
"Stop yelling, God." He began pacing the room. "Last night when we were out with everyone towards the end of the night, God we were so fucking drunk," he whined.
"Spit it out!"
"Okay, okay! Well, we remembered that the avengers were in town for that conferences, yknow. We dared you to sneak into the hotel they were staying at and steal Caps shield."
As he spoke the words memories began to fill my brain. Standing in the alley behind the hotel. All of my friends a giggling mess. Shushing them as I told them all my master plan. Sprinting away from the hotel with the heavy shield on my arm and my friends following.
"What do I do?" I asked with wide eyes.
"Maybe they don't even know it's gone yet!" Joey said while pulling his phone out of his pocket, pulling up the news. "It's not trending on Google! And there's no search results for it!"
"Maybe I could just leave it outside the hotel?"
"Are you sure no cameras saw you?"
"How could I be sure?! I was drunk out of my mind!"
"You mightve been high too," he whispered. "You took an edible when we left the bar."
If it were possible my eyes grew even wider.
"Oh. My. God." I fell onto the couch and Joey fell beside me.
"Maybe we could just keep it?" He asked.
"But what about Captain America? Won't he need the shield?"
We sat in silence for a moment before we heard someone clearing their throat behind. We both looked at each other before slowly twisting around. Behind my couch stood Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Tony Stark.
Tony Stark smiled before saying my name in question.
"Hey, Super." Joey whispered. "I think the cameras might have caught you."
