I felt like I needed to edit the title haha
dark!writer!Bucky x reader, mentions of Steve
Warnings: kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, manipulation, and gaslighting.
The first time Bucky left me alone I was quick to run. It had only been two days when he claimed he needed to go out for something. I sprinted through the yard and towards the forest, but Bucky failed to mention the shocking quality of this tracker. One moment I was running, the next I was on the ground as a steady shock moved through my body.
I crawled further back into the yard, a gasp escaping me as the electric current finally stopped. I stared at my now throbbing ankle. I knew the shock was gone but I could still feel it. I carefully pulled myself to my feet before taking two, slow steps forward. Once again a shock shot through me and I let out a yelp.
So I sat there and I cried. Freedom was taunting me here in a way that it never could in the studio.
I'm not sure how long I sat there before I realized I was pulling the grass up beside me. Grass I hadn't touched for months. Breathing in fresh air with the sun shining down on me. Slowly, I laid down and breathed the scent of fresh cut grass. I cried into the Earth and I swear I could feel her embrace.
♡♡♡♡♡
I had wondered my way back inside by the time Bucky had come home. I guiltily cuddled my cat as I remembered my attempt to leave him.
Bucky looked at me on the couch with a soft smile as he entered the house. He walked into the kitchen before dropping a few bags on the counter. I ignored his presence as I had been for the past two days.
Moments later he fell onto the couch beside me, placing a kiss on my cheek and one on Frodos head.
I hate how much Frodo loves this place. He loves the windows. He'll sit for hours staring outside, watching the birds with wide eyes. He loves the cat tree that allows him sit three feet above us. He loves his little bed that sits inside my room. I've never seen him so happy.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the shock in the tracker," Bucky whispered in my ear, "I didn't think you'd have to learn about it so soon."
I whimpered as he buried his nose in my hair. Of course he knew I tried to escape.
"Please don't punish me," I cried, breaking my vow of silence towards him. "I couldn't stop myself."
"It's okay," he reassured softly. "I knew you would try eventually. It's human nature. Maybe this will help you acclimate quicker."
I nodded in agreement, doing everything I could to appease him. Finally he pulled away and looked me in the eyes, pushing my hair behind my ear.
"I spoke to Steve today."
My heart fell into my stomach.
"Is he okay?" I don't know why I'm worried about him. He stole my life from me, but I can't help but hear that little voice inside my head that was screaming that I was made for him.
"He's angry, but not at you, Love. Never at you."
"What did he say?"
"There was a lot of yelling. Saying he was right about me wanting to steal you. I told him, though, I told him he would see you again. As soon as he understands how wrong he was for locking you in a cage up there." Bucky muttered.
"But is he okay? He won't hurt himself or anything will he?" I asked nervously, biting at my nails.
"No, Love. He'll be okay." A sad smile crossed Bucky face, one I couldn't quite decipher.
So for two weeks I slowly grew more accustom to my new environment. A new routine began to settle in for me. I would wake up in the morning to Bucky making breakfast. He would drink coffee and I would drink tea. After breakfast Bucky and I would settle in different corners of the house, him writing and me reading. That would continue for an hour or two before we would get dressed and go outside and take a walk around the property.
The yard was of good size and I could go all the way to the forest line before being shocked. that was something that hadn't happened since my first day here.
Bucky even bought a harness and leash for Frodo so that he could join us for our daily walks. One day as I watched Frodo chase after a yellow butterfly I almost felt content. Almost.
After your walk would come Lunch. Lunch was usually a simple meal we would prepare together and it would be eaten on the deck. After eating we would cuddle on the couch as we watched Netflix or Hulu. After a few hours of screen time we would go the gym in the basement.
I've learned that living in a studio for ten months has made me insanely out of shape. In the time it took me to run one mile Bucky could run five. I don't know how I thought I could ever run away from him, I can't even run for an entire mile.
Half the time I could barely drag myself up the stairs afterwards. I'm embarrassed to admit that Bucky had to carry me up them more than once. I take a longer shower than Bucky, and I've ignored his small suggestions of saving water. Of showering together. He usually cooks dinner while I finish in the shower, and after eating I'm almost always ready for bed. I always go to sleep alone, yet I wake up in his arms.
This is how my days went now. Everyday.
Today I sat with my book in my lap. Its been three hours and Bucky still hasn't gotten ready for our walk. Bucky tells me I make y own choices now, but he's the one who made our little schedule. He's the one that knows what's good for me.
"Bucky? Are we not going on our walk?" I finally grew the courage to ask, watching him type away on his laptop. the laptop I've been trying my best to get my hands on.
"Well, it's raining, Love. I'd hate for you to get sick." His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I haven't been out in the rain since Steve found me," I whispered. "Can we please?"
He pursed his lips in thought and I gave him the best puppy eyes I could muster.
"Let me see if I have any rain clothes you can wear," he conceded, causing me to squeak in excitement.
He closed his laptop and I followed him to his room with a pep in my step. After some digging he found an extra rain jacket and pulled it onto my body before lifting the hood up. "This stays up the entire time."
"I promise!" I cheered.
I dashed to my room and slid on a pair of boots that sat in my closet. I'm not sure when Bucky bought all of these clothes for me, but they fit me perfectly. He laughed as I eagerly waited for him beside the door, but I didn't care. I've always loved the rain.
Bucky doesn't have to know that I lied. He doesn't have to know about the evenings where Steve and I sat out on the balcony, basking in the rain. Sure, it only happened a few times, but those are my favorite memories with him. The rain hitting my neck as I laid on his chest.
Finally he opened the door and I ran outside. I felt like a child as I splashed in the puddles and spun in circles. I kept the hood up the entire time, but that didn't stop my hair from getting wet. I laughed as Bucky lifted me up, spinning me around.
When Buckys lips met mine, couldn't help but gasp. This definitely wasn't the first time Bucky has kissed, not even close to it, but something about this kiss felt different.
When he pulled away and I don't think I've ever seen him smile so wide. I think its the first time I truly saw someones smile reach their eyes. He looks happy, but it felt dangerous.
