Loving Grant

Book Thief

Grant calls me as soon as I finish up announcing the bad news. I tell him that I'm going to spend the night with Vanessa to make sure she's okay and he says he's going to do the same thing for Alec. Neither of us are picking sides, we love them both (even if Alec makes the dumbest choices ever) and we don't want either of them to be alone. Aiden and Grant are going to cheer Alec up while I'm here with V. Despite how annoyed I am with Alec, I'm happy he's not alone tonight. This isn't fun for anyone involved.

This is the first night Grant and I will be spending apart since the first night he got back. I love spending time with Grant, but it feels good to be here for Vanessa the way I used to be. Plus, I could use a little space from Grant while I think about my recent revelation and what it means for us. I need to figure out my next steps and I need to do that without him. That is going to have to be put on the backburner for tonight though, I'm laser-focused on V. My attention hasn't diverted from her since I picked her up and brought her to my apartment. I got all her favorite foods and rented her favorite movie, "Gone Girl" to show her that I still know her and am here for her. Not that eating wings and watching "Gone Girl" with my bff doesn't sound like a dream to me.

Vanessa prances into the room holding around a hundred napkins, she loves wings but despises the mess that they come with. "Thanks again Z, this looks delicious!"

"Please, this is just as much for me as it is for you. Sit by me, so we can start this movie and gossip."

She chuckles. "Did I mention I can't stand Alec?"

I turn to her. "Come here, let's talk."

She sits near me and sighs. "Can he really be stupid enough to think I wouldn't have a problem with Tricia being at our wedding?" She throws her hands in the air. "I mean, I've been just the tiniest bit civil with her because I've been hoping she's changed, but that doesn't mean I want her at our wedding!"

I allow a moment of silence to allow her to process her emotions before I speak. "Alec is a good friend, but what he did was so wrong. Even if he didn't have ill-intent with inviting her, he still shouldn't have dismissed your feelings about it. I can tell you feel bad about canceling the wedding, but don't. I understand why you called off the wedding and you shouldn't feel guilty about it at all. How you guys handle conflict in a relationship says everything and he wasn't meeting you halfway this time. Even though I am rooting for you guys, I want you to be happy and that means he's going to have to learn to validate your emotions."

I can tell that Vanessa needed to hear this because her eyes are bright after I finish talking. "You don't think I'm being too dramatic?"

It makes me sad that V once again feels like she's wrong for expressing her emotions. "Not at all. You gave him another chance after the last incident with Tricia and heard him out even when you didn't want to. He should have done the same for you."

"Thanks Z." She lays her head on me.

I play with her hair. "I'm sorry that you've been hurt so much that you don't think you're allowed to have emotions. You shouldn't have to always question your feelings."

"You're not a bad friend." She says softly. "You were just excited."

Hearing this warms my heart in an inexplicable way. "We need to spend more time together, it's so refreshing."

"Hey, it's your fault we haven't been." She teases.

I cross my heart. "Never again. I don't care how in love I am; I will never go that long without seeing you again."

She makes an exaggerated kissy-face and leans into me with over-the-top movements. "Kiss me you fool!"

I break into laughter. "You're way out of my league."

"And Alec's." She shrugs, making me laugh harder.

She hits me lightly. "Now, click play!"

I start the movie and we lose ourselves in the scenes.

Once the movie ends Vanessa jumps up. "I have to pee."

I smile. "Thanks for that information, I was wondering if you had to pee."

She rolls her eyes which looks hilarious when paired with her 'I have to pee' dance. She takes off into a run towards the bathroom.

I'm sitting on the couch, scrolling through the channels when Vanessa's voice returns. "I know this is totally off topic, but I think you should look at Grant's diary Z. Someone needs to protect him from himself and I think you're the only one who can do it. I'm okay, really. I need to shower anyways, so you should sneak a peek at that mysterious little book and tell me if it says anything embarrassing. It'll make me feel better to laugh." I look at her and am surprised to see she's dead serious.

"Tonight, isn't about Grant. In fact, I think we should ban that name from this...."

"Stop it Z." V cuts me off. "Grant is my friend too and I trust your instincts. If you think he's in trouble, then I do too. You can't just cut him out because you're obsessed with him. Just be obsessed with me too and we're good, okay?"

I sigh. "I don't know V, he's going to hate me for this and I haven't had any time to think about my next move. Maybe I should just wait."

Vanessa throws a pillow at me. "I know you have his diary with you, open it and stop overthinking everything. You're protecting him, not taking his kidney. You clearly thought about it before you took his diary."

What she was saying made sense, but I was still nervous. "Go take a shower and stop knowing everything."

"It's a gift and a curse." She says as she grabs a towel. "You have thirty minutes."

The first ten minutes that Vanessa is showering I just stare at the closed little black book. Is there ever an acceptable reason to read someone's diary? Is it really okay to invade someone's privacy if you're worried about them? The thought that finalizes my decision is the question: would I rather Grant be mad at me or safe? I sit the book on my lap and gently open to the first page and that's all I can make myself read. My heart thuds loudly with what I've learned.