Acts of Hate | Taennie

12.

"It must be nice to not care."

Taehyung regretted the words as soon as they came out, but he couldn't help himself.

He couldn't help the rage he felt every time he thought back to that moment.

She walked out, on them both, on him.

"You don't think I care?" She yelled back, unable to hold herself as her tears came falling down.

He faltered slightly at her sudden outburst, even more so the moment he saw her face.

"You don't think I fucking care? Taehyung, I'm hurt. I've been hurting, and I know it's my fault. But you don't think I care? It fucking hurts Taehyung. It fucking hurts to even think about that moment, even more now that you're here!"
She yelled out, and continued to do so now that he remained silent.

"She's dead! She's dead, and I couldn't even see her one last time! I missed every last moment with her, and I know it's because of me. Have you thought of that? You may have loved her, but I did too. I loved her, and I loved you, and I loved us. And for what? I lost her. I lost her for good and the last thing I said to her was a promise that I'd be there during our last moments together. But I couldn't. And I know it's my fault, but it hasn't been easy on me either. But you can't fucking accuse me of not caring."
She spoke back as he didn't bother to hold himself either.

"You could have picked up the phone Jennie. That isn't that hard to ask. Her last wish was to see you. That was all she asked. But you couldn't even do that. So I'm not sorry if I accuse you of not caring because I haven't seen much to prove anything else!" He raised his voice back, as she scoffed.

"Have you tried to see anything else? Did you even try and reason with my actions? They're not justified, but one thing I can prove is that I've not been living a fucking fairy tale happily ever after. I regret everything every single day. You say I've thrived in the cameras despite what happened. But do you even know why?" She paused as he stared back at her.

"Everyone around me has a life to return to. You at least have your family. But me? I have a mom who has never made any time for me. My dad? He's dead. Grandparents? Dead. Everyone around me returns home to someone or something. A lover? A feeling of comfort? A roommate? What do I have? Nothing. Nothing but loneliness. The only people I had, I lost them. And in a stupid way that was my fault. And the fact that I know it, it makes it so much harder." She paused, breathing deeply before continuing once more.

I do nothing but remember and regret it every night I'm alone. The only way I get a little chance to escape is by throwing myself into my work. And that is why I'm where I am today. Because I have nothing else but this. I couldn't even end my life Taehyung. I wanted to die, and the only reason I didn't? As pathetic as it was, I didn't choose to live for me, I chose to not be a further disappointment for my mom. Easy? Nothing has been easy. And I have nothing to excuse what I did that day. And it's been with me, eating me out, fucking killing me all.the.time." She spoke as her tears fell freely.

"If I could go back, I would change everything in a heartbeat. But I can't. I can't, and it fucking hurts. So hate me all you want, but never accuse me of not caring. Because my entire life, I have done nothing but regret what happened then." She spoke before turning around and walking to her trailer door, as he stood rooted to where he was, not knowing what else to do after her break out.

"It may be selfish of me to say this, but please, I'm holding on by a thread already. Having to see you every other minute of filming. I know you hate me, and I know you'd rather do anything else but have to sit here and film with me, but I can't leave. I can't tell you why, but I can't. So I beg you to let us stay strangers in front of the staff than enemies, because the possibility of faking friendship is clearly out the window." She continued as she opened her door.

"I'm sorry for springing this onto you. I'm cancelling my scenes for today so I hope we cool off before tomorrow." She let out one last time before closing her trailer door.

Taehyung took a deep breath, unable to make sense of anything else.

He knew this would have come at one point or another, and he thought he was ready to face her after all this time.

But he was clearly wrong. Her standing there and yelling at him with tears running down her face somehow brought a sense of closure he didn't know he needed.

Maybe because all these years he did nothing but let things go unsaid. Doing so did nothing but build up rage against her.

And now, at least some how or another, his emotions weren't being as buried anymore.

The only problem is, he didn't know what to do with all these feelings.

She left them. She left them both when they were falling apart for herself. She didn't pick up the phone because she chose against them.

That's all he believed all these years, never having to confront her about the incident till now.

And yet, here he was, 7 years later, reliving the incident.

But the only difference is, he wasn't as angry anymore.

Now, all he wanted was answers.

Why?

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Acts of Hate
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Chapter 12
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JJENINII
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