Sold out || A Lando Norris Fanfiction

TWENTY-THREE

I had hoped that after the concert, Lando and I would have time to talk things through. However, the opposite happened. After the concert, Lando and I got dragged to a club for celebratory drinks. Just like we always do.

The whole evening felt comfortable, too comfortable for what I wanted to do. After a stupid amount of drinks and shots, we all stumbled back to the hotel. Lando did end up sleeping in my hotel room. Although he did admit that he had his own room. He told me that he'd respect my decision, and that if I didn't want to share a bed, he was fine with that. 

The whole comment had made my heart swell. He was too kind for me. 

It all brings me back to right here in this moment. Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Lando is still asleep next to me, and judging by the sounds and how still he is, he won't wake up any time soon. We didn't have sex last night, I couldn't. Lando didn't push either, I think he sensed I wasn't up for it. 

Lando's grip on me is loose, as I try and wiggle myself out of it. I'm in desperate need of a shower. After the shower, I return to the bedroom to find Lando having woken up. 

"Hey." I say, trying to force a small smile on my face. 

"Hey," He says, trying to match my smile. Although, his smile doesn't really reach his eyes, and if we're being honest I don't know if mine reaches my eyes either.

"We need to talk." I sit down on the bed facing him, he has put on a tee and joggers while I was in the shower. 

"I know. Let's just get it over with, okay?" He seems vulnerable, sad. 

"Okay." I look down at my hands, fumbling with my fingers as I try to calm my racing heart. 

"Do you want to start?" He looks at me, trying to find any clues of what's to come on my face. 

"You can start." I don't really want to start, how could I if I'm going to break his heart. I know I am. 

"Alright then." Lando takes in a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts and possibly calm himself too. "I love you. I always will, but I need you to know that what ever decision you made, I'll respect that." He looks at me for confirmation that I am hearing what he's trying to tell me. I nod, giving him what he needs to continue. "I now see that nothing has happened between you and Pierre and maybe I have overreacted on that matter.  I was scared, scared to lose you. You mean the world to me, and I don't ever want to lose you. We both know the stories of Pierre stealing other people's partners, I was scared it was going to happen to me too. I hope you can forgive me for everything. And if what you have decided is to break up, I hope we can still be in each others lives. Because I know for a fact, I can't live mine without you in it." 

I can feel tears already pricking in my eyes, I keep looking down at my fingers. Fumbling with them, as I let Lando's words sink in. I take a deep breath as I gather the words I will need. 

"I love you too. I always will, at least that's what I think right now." I finally find the courage to look at Lando, his eyes watery as well. "I need to apologise, especially for the fact that I did not tell you I was meeting up with Pierre. There were so many things going through my mind, I just felt like it would go wrong or something if I did. I'm sorry that it hurt your appearance in the media too. The whole fiasco gave me so much extra media attention that it broke me. It hurts me really. Which brings me to my decision. I love you so freaking much Lando, you don't even know how much. My body goes numb when I see you. It does weird things, I am still like a love sick puppy when we are about to go on a date or whatever. I can barely eat, because I get too excited. But the thing is, I need to be able to love you with all of me. And I can't, not with all the cameras on us. I need us to be us, and I can't do that with the lives we have. I'm so incredibly sorry, Lan. I just can't right now. I'd definitely love to be friends. But I can't do anything more than that right now. I am so sorry." 

By the time I have said my last words, we're both crying. Lando putting his arms around me giving me a hug. I don't think I can ever get used to how happy and safe this makes me feel. And I won't, because it won't be happening any more. Not a lot at least. 

Lando's fingers move over my face, wiping the tears away. "Can I kiss you, just once? I just want to save that final kiss, so I can remember it." I don't answer verbally, just pressing my lips on his. 

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I know it's a really short chapter, but I didn't really have time to write this weekend. And this is what I just now managed to scramble out of my head. Thanks for reading everyone! 

Please vote and comment, because I really want to know what you guys think!