Veiled Affection

Chapter Forty four

I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to write next.

I mean, I do know, for I can simply choose not to deviate from what I have already done so far - write all that happened the previous year. But one would almost forget, as I have similarly forgotten whilst writing it, that the previous few happenings (chapters, in this case) aren't too far ago, with the previous chapter being only a month ago. And it was the morning after the described episode above that I started to write all of this down. Meaning, I covered the whole year.

It seemed like such a great task, seemingly overwhelming a month ago, when all I had laid in front of me was a blank piece of paper. And now, having written almost all of what I had in the back of my mind, I find it to be unbelieve that I have managed to do it in such a short period.

So now, I can write about the previous month until I catch up with reality. But after that... I haven't got a clue. While I linger on the matter, I might as well start to cover the previous thirty days.

The last month has been quite monotonous, and how that word meant sheer despair a year ago, now, it doesn't mean anything of the sort. It is a different kind of monotonous; a calm, serene one. I realized this a couple of days ago, and I said so to Cate when we lay in bed together. She took it rather offensively at first - the word monotony - but when I explained to her the simplicity and peacefulness in which we had spend our previous weeks together, she softened and told me she understood.

''It is hard to believe it has been a year since we met. It feels like much longer.'' She said as she drew circled on my bare chest. ''And yet this time has also felt so fleeting, like the blink of an eye.''

I told her I understood her as well.

And mind you, it is not that nothing has happened in the past month. Things have also happened outside of Cate and me. I will touch up on those as well, that is to say briefly, but I shan't leave them out, for I suppose everything that has happened has to do with us one way or another.

But for now, foolishly sentimental stuff comes first. Like the morning that I started writing all of this. Cate came into my study at one point.

''Darling, have you seen my -'' She stopped at the sight of me sitting behind my desk. ''Am I disrupting?''

A moment of déjà vu, I recognized it immediately. Chapter one, the start of the story, Gregory taking Cate's place instead - scarily alike.

I looked at her for a long moment, my thoughts elsewhere.

''Are you all right?''

My mind still at work, comparing the contrast between then and now, acknowledging the difference, loving the change.

''More than.'' I said. ''What was it you lost?''

This time it were her eyes that looked at me for a long moment.

''I can't remember.'' She said at last and we laughed.

She put her face in her hands. ''I am wearing out.''

''Don't say that.'' I stood up and walked up to her, held her waist between my hands. ''You remember the important stuff all too nicely.''

The corners of her mouth lifted. ''What important stuff?''

I lay my hand on her chest and came closer.

''How to kiss me,'' I said and softly pressed my lips onto hers. I grabbed her hand that was on my neck and guided it to just below my stomach. ''How to touch me,'' I whispered when her flushed cheek touched mine. I leaned back slightly.

''Don't you?'' I asked aptly.

She smiled and proved that she did.
____________________

That same day - and here already comes the non-sentimental stuff - I got a call from my publisher. My newest novel wasn't scheduled to be published in a month, but since the word got out about me and Cate, he thought it would be best to bring it out now because 'It would benefit the sales by tenfold!'. I told him I didn't care, and he would be free to do as he would like. He send me a message not an hour later saying that everything was settled and my work would be off to the bookstores the very next day.