Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise: My Shadowed Life Series

Chapter 28: Taking the Final Step Part 1

It's in 2 parts cause it's just more managable that way =D.... Enjoy!

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Chapter 28: Taking the Final Step Part 1

This kiss was gentle, yet intense. His supple lips moved with mine and his tongue invaded my mouth happily. He tasted sweet, like the most addictive and indescribable deliciousness ever encountered and I couldn't deny the attraction, excitement and electricity that enveloped me with each passing second. My need for him only grew in intensity as he grabbed my waist and crushed my body to his. I wanted him and needed him in a way that was oddly bewildering.

I couldn't stop myself from running my hands up his shirt and feeling his well formed pectorals and abdominals. Just seeing them briefly when he changed a few moments ago, had me overwhelmed with desire and completely turned on. His warm skin felt like it melted beneath my fingertips as I traced the curves of his every muscle. Lower and lower, I trailed my fingers lightly until I reached the waist of his sweat pants.

I had grown bolder in the past few days if not hours, since I realized that I had no choice but to take the last step and complete the entwinement. It wasn't that I didn't want Maxim in a sexual way, because I did. I had never before felt such a physical need. He made me feel things in my heart and throughout my body that I never dreamed possible. It was just the fact that I was terrified of this new and unknown act.

What if I wasn't any good? What if I did something wrong and he hated it? What if I was a clumsy fool and he thought I was stupid and pathetic?

I was so nervous, for obvious reasons. I had never willing done any sexual act with a man before. Every experience I ever had was straight-up old fashion sex, apart from some rough groping that was forced upon me by Chester or Carl. Usually they forced me into the normal, on my back missionary position, that way they could dominate me easier, but every once in a while, he liked to take me from behind, shoving my body and face into the mattress, nearly suffocating me. It was never anything thing other than terrifying, humiliating and disturbing. It was pain, emotional and physical agony.

 Only now, I found myself feeling passionate, filled with hunger and longing for him. I wanted to feel his naked body and experience his warm skin next to mine. I wanted to explore him and let him explore me fully. I wanted him inside me, in a way I had never experienced. I wanted to feel his love and encourage him to fill me with it. I wanted us to become one in every possible way. I wanted to complete the bond and seal us together for all eternity.

I allowed my hand to dip under the waistband of his sweatpants, just to get a quick feel of his manhood. I needed to know what I was dealing with. If Max had a big dick, I would be in a lot of trouble. I was uncertain if Chester's size was considered average or big, but he was definitely bigger than Carl, which I was thankful for in some ways since Carl raped me more frequently than Ches. It would have been more painful if he was sized like Chester.

 I removed the twisted thoughts from my head and returned my attention to Maxim. I fully expected to feel some sort of barrier between his dick and my hand, but I was surprised by the unexpected heat of my hand against his bare hardness. I fumbled around, entirely shocked by his nakedness and the large quantity of him. He's not wearing underwear?

He tensed at first, taken off guard by my abrupt fondling of him. I quickly and shyly removed my hand from him, feeling naïve and stupid for touching his naked manhood so boldly. He chuckled softly against my lips and pulled back at my surprise to gauge my reaction.

"You're not wearing underwear?" I questioned in disbelief. I mean, who doesn't wear underwear?

"I wasn't aware you were going to shove your hand down my pants but no, I'm not. I like to go commando most days, I enjoy the freeness of it. I usually sleep in just my boxers but I didn't want to make you feel... pressured or uncomfortable." He remarked softly, understanding that this was a difficult step for me to take. I applauded his sympathy but it was entirely unnecessary.