Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise: My Shadowed Life Series

Chapter 1: That's Unprofessional, Swearing at Your Patient

****WARNING... THIS STORY CONTAINS SCENES OF VIOLENCE THROUGHT OUT AND ALSO SEXUAL SCENES... be warned****

Here is chapter 1...

I hope you all enjoy and would please COMMENT & let me know if I should continue this impulsive attemt at a new story :)

Thanks, Crissy

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Chapter 1: That’s Unprofessional, Swearing at Your Patient

The feeling of a gentle hand stroking my hair and the soft shaking of my body roused me from the darkness. I opened my eyes, for the hundredth time, to find bright lights and a warm face smiling down on me. He had sadness and pity in his eyes. He held the same look every time I saw him. If there was one thing I hated it was pity.

It made me feel horrendous, that he had an idea of what was going on. But I never admitted it to him, the shame was too great and the fear was too strong. I noticed him staring at my face and suddenly averted my gaze. What would I say to him this time?

He looked the same as he always did. He had a stately presence. He was tall and muscular, from what I could tell. He was always hidden under a nice suit and waist length white coat. His features were striking. His jaw and nose were firmly set and defined. He was handsome, even for someone who was 8 or so years older than me. His soft brown hair was short and professional, with a hint of a wave. His eyes were warm, a deep lapis blue.

He was perfect in every way, except for the way he was looking at me. It was always the same. He wanted to save me, I could tell, but I could never let that happen. I couldn’t let him get involved and I didn’t deserve his pity or concern.

“Feeling better Trinity?” He asked in a low concerned tone.

“I’m fine.” I responded while I attempted to push myself up in the bed. It was a task, moving my sore limbs and body around. My head pounded and I felt the sting and swelling on my face. I would have to come up with a really good excuse this time, before he got others involved as well.

“Trinity…” He shook his head in disapproval. “What happened this time?” He asked with a hopeful, yet solemn look. Could I have told him the truth this time? Hell no! First, I didn’t have the courage and second, it wasn’t worth the risk. I would just grin and bear it, like I always had. I would use one of my stock, albeit cliché answers.

“I fell down the stairs again, that’s all. I’m fine, really Doc.” I answered softly. My eyes never met his. I hated lying to him, I really did, but there was no way I could have told the truth, not this time. He would have killed me for sure.

As much as I wanted to die, wanted to escape, I was scared as hell of what would meet me on the other side. His slightly pale face and lips frowned at my answer.

“Trin, it’s the fourth time this month that you have ‘fallen down the stairs’.” He quoted my excuse with doubt. He didn’t believe me, he never had. I was silent, I didn’t answer his suspicion.

“Look, maybe it’s time you talked to me about this.” He said sweetly. He reached out his hand and placed it on my shoulder comfortingly. I winced at the contact for two reasons. One, because it hurt like hell, I must have had an awful bruise there. And two, because I didn’t deserve his concern, I simply wasn’t worth it.

“Dr. Wells, it’s nothing, really. You have known me for many years now and you know how clumsy I am.” I responded, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder and pretending to be alright and unconcerned with my present situation.

“Trinity, I have known you for 5 years, and I thought we were friends. You are supposed to call me Gabe, not Dr. Wells, It makes me sound so old.” He laughed at himself, and then his face turned more serious. It made me squirm in my bed. I knew what was coming next. He would ask again, and again, I would lie to his face.

“Please Trinity, You can tell me. That’s what friends are for. Are you being abused?” He looked deeply in my eyes. He knew the answer. I didn’t need to respond verbally. But I would never say the words to him, I would never admit it. Not to him, or anyone else.

“If we were friends, you would stop asking.” I simply stated. It was neither a denial nor affirmation of the truth, it was simply avoidance.

“If we were friends, which we are, you would stop lying to me and let me help you.” He responded.

“I’m not lying Gabe. I just fell.” I was adamant in my defense of my excuse.

“I can’t believe you are doing this again.” He started to get angry and annoyed.

“Doing what?” I questioned, sitting up further in my bed, now that I had gotten command of my raging headache.

“You’re protecting… whoever it is. Why do you do that?” He asked.

“I’m not…” I wasn’t allowed to finish my denial.

“Why do you let him hurt you like this? Why Trinity?” He was lost in my eyes. He searched them for answers, but he would never find them, I wouldn’t allow it.

“There is no one to protect. I don’t know what you are talking about.” I defended once again. It was tiresome, always hiding the truth and defending the monsters. But it was better than admitting it and facing the consequences.

“That’s bullshit Trin, and you know it!” He was angry now. He got like this sometimes, but I knew, him of all people, would never hurt me.

“That’s unprofessional, swearing at your patient.” I scoffed and laughed at his attempt to bully me into telling the truth. I only needed to change the subject and I had accomplished that, or so I thought.

“I’m not swearing at my patient. I’m swearing at my stubborn friend, who loves to refuse my help.” He glared at me.

“Gabe please, don’t do this to me. I’m tired and I just want to go home.” I really had no desire to go home, that was the worst place in the world. But it was better than being berated by my too caring doctor friend. He was a friend of sorts, but not one that I could get close to, not one that I could confide in and definitely not one that I could get involved in my dangerous affairs. He was far too nice to get dragged into this.

“Fine, you seem okay so I’ll sign your discharge papers.” He stated softly than grabbed me into a gentle, reassuring hug. It wasn’t a doctorly action; it was more of a friendly one. But I remembered what happened the last time I had a friend, which was exactly why this ‘friendship’ or any other for that matter, couldn’t go any farther.

I watched him walk to the door in a thoughtful yet sulking manner. He did this every time, before he released me back to my personal hell. But this time, it was different. He paused in the doorway and turned to look directly and deeply into my eyes.

“If it happens again Trinity, I’m getting involved. I won’t let you live this way any longer. Five years, is five years too long.” He simply stated, determination flashed in his eyes.

Shit! That was bad. I knew it would happen again, there was nothing I could have done about that. But I couldn’t let Gabe end up like Tristan. I would rather die, for more reasons than one, than to see the only person I cared about dead like my brother.

Tristan was the only one who tried to save me… and he failed.

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This is a new idea that is brewing, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to advise me!

Thanks again, Crissy =:)