Hue:Blues Pt.2 ( Ryeji )

21. Messed Up.

YJ's POV

"You've had enough" he said.

I was a bit drunk that's why he managed to take the glass off my hand and maybe, I let him.

He then sat beside me as he talked to a bartender and soon, a drink was serve for him.

"I didn't know I'd see you here actually" He spoke again and I could feel that something was bothering him.

"Hmm" I hummed and sip from my own glass and this time, he didn't stopped me. Maybe he noticed that I desperately need it.

Her voice.. her broken voice from our interaction at that apartment still plays in my head, repeating and haunts me like I did something horrible.

If only I didn't know something.. I might be blaming myself for her tears by now.

"Tough day?" His voice brought me back to reality that I'm here at a bar, downed a lot those liquors but why... Why it doesn't help me on figuring out an answer.

"Tough day?" I questioned so I won't need to tell anything.

And he fell silent but I don't mind. I prefer having no one by my side right now.

"Are you.. are you aware of.. ahm.. the thing that our parents are pushing us to be?" He asked, being mindful with his words.

Dad may have not told me directly what he wants, and I've been avoiding any contact from him too, but I know what he's doing and it's another decision in my life that he's taking away from me.

I nodded my head as I called to pour me another drink.

I don't know if Beomgyu was staring at me but I'm not in a state to even care if he saw how terrible I looked.

"Are you fine with this?... With the thing that they wishes to happen?" He asked again.

I truthfully want to snap at him because of the long talk and all I wanted was be on my own but... His question made me think.

'Am I fine with what?'

'I felt like I'm barely living so what else should I care about?'

'Should I just let myself be fooled once again?'

'At least in that way, I believe I can be genuinely happy...'

Then I turned my head to look at him, he was already staring at me.

'Or should I just live under my Father's orders so I could make my family happy?'

Maybe we were both lost in our thoughts and being run by alcohol that I saw him leaning closer to me.

Closer and closer.... While I stay exactly the same. Battling if it is right to start something else while I'm still broken and incomplete.

'I love you'

But then I heard her voice that made me turn my head sideways as I leaned back.

And I took another shot. Feeling guilty of what almost happened.

I looked at Beomgyu who's already resting his elbows at the counter as he takes a sip on his drink.

"Good thing that we aren't interested in each other in that kind of way, if you know what I mean" he then chuckled and I didn't feel any bitterness.

"I'm sorry" I said, feeling apologetic that I might have made him feel that I approved to something like that.

Then I heard him sigh. "It's fine. It actually answered my question too".