Hue:Blues Pt.2 ( Ryeji )

26. I'll Stay.

RJ's POV

Memories flashes but it was all unclear.

As soon as I woke up, I saw the mess I assumed I made last night.

"Why am I doing this to myself?" I asked myself followed with a chuckle, too bitter for my taste.

When I'm in the process of healing myself, or so I believe, she'll come here and make me go back.. live in pain once again...

I'm accepting the fact that she's living a different life.. with different people.. being different but now..

What do I do?

I sat up, hearing some noise coming outside this room.

Should I push you away?

I had enough and I want to live at peace. I want to... Spend my time with her the way we use to back then.

But everything has changed.

Decisions from a broken person are not the best but they believe it'll be the greatest for them.

And I hate that I'm one of them.

Standing up, I wore the same expression that I've been giving her.

I don't know what's her intention but I want to be alone. I want her to go. I don't want her to see me like this.

As I went out of the room, I saw her at the kitchen and I hate how my heart swollen just seeing this side of her.

I didn't noticed that my vision was yet again becoming blurry.

Why do I feel like she's here but at the same time... She's too far.

I walked my way towards the cabinet at the kitchen, just beside on where she stands and took a bottle of wine. Take off the lid and drank it like a water.

Gulp after gulp. I felt her stare then the bottle was soon taken away from my hold letting a few drop on the floor.

Wiping my lips, I know she's shocked. "This is my life when she's nowhere to be found. Like until this day so act like one" I said, not planning to meet those eyes that I felt still fixated on mine.

Silence.

I want to leave but... my feet doesn't move and lead me anywhere away from her.

And the next thing I knew, she was the one drinking from that bottle.

My eyes went wide and like a reflex, I took the bottle from her and threw it. Hearing the glass break, I hate this feeling..

The feeling of madness with concern.

"Are you crazy?!?!" I yelled at her and I'm not really sure what look I'm giving her right now.

I watch her wipe her lips with the back of her hand, then as she put it down, I saw a smirk formed in her lips.

She chuckled before looking at me, straight in the eyes making me feel exposed.

"You're making me crazy" she said, she let me see those orbs that I was too scared to meet. "I can't think properly because of you and I want to hate you but I want y---".

"Then take what you want and go..." I didn't let her finish and turned around, expecting for this argument to end but as I took a step away, I felt her arms slowly being wrapped around my waist.

This kind of hug... I missed it..

The warmth, the person but... What about the feelings.

"When you hug me like this, I can't stop myself from thinking that you're finally back." I said as I closed my eyes and take a deep breath. Then I removed her arms around me before turning around to look at her. "So don't do this kind of things, you're only making it hard for me to accept that everything went missing."