I May Be Blind, But I Can Still See Your Bullshit

The Avengers Trigger a Panic Attack

*Trigger warning for a panic attack for this chapter. Stay save y'all*

When Percy got back to his apartment he was glad no one was home. Happy had walked him to the door and Percy almost felt bad for nearly slamming the door in his face. But he was tired, overwhelmed and drained. He threw his walking stick behind the door on his way in and walked quickly into his room, feeling less bad about slamming this door.

He flopped down on his bare bed. The textures of most of his blankets bothered him after his other senses became heightened. The blankets felt like sleeping on glass. It felt like he was sleeping on the glass ground of Tartarus. And with thoughts of Tartarus in the front of his mind from his "discussion"  more like interrogation, Percy thought, it was hard to relax and sleep. But sleep never did come easy to a Demi-god like Percy. Or a war hero like Percy. Or a person like Percy. Needless to say, Percy couldn't sleep. And like all the other times when his thoughts began to invade his mind, he thought of Annabeth. They were planning a date this Saturday in Central Park. She was still a bit wobbly on her new prosthetic foot that the Hephaestus cabin made her. They made it waterproof as well as fireproof at her request and she was determined to beat Clarisse in a race as Clarisse was one of the few people at camp that treated Percy and Annabeth the same after their losses. 

He thought of Annabeth's comforting smell that he could faintly catch on his mattress, like old books and charcoal. She said she liked the new charcoal pencils that he got her for her birthday. That she said the drawings of buildings and houses were better than with a regular pencil. He had taken her word for it but he still could have liked to see her pictures. To see the way her eyebrows come together in concentration while she designed. He missed looking at her. But the thought of Annabeth brought on the thought of her mother, the fact that she did not keep her word on her promise years ago. This Peter kid was just that, a kid and he was an orphaned superhero. If Athena claimed him before, maybe he could have been able to get to camp. Peter would have realized he had family and he didn't need to be put in danger by fighting crime. He didn't know if he should tell Annabeth. She had been on okay terms with Athena lately and Percy didn't know if he should or wanted jeopardize that relationship.

But before he could decide, he heard the front door open and the squeal of his baby sister. Percy smiled to himself and made his way to greet the only other person who seems to be able to ease his nerves. "Pecy!" She yelled when she saw him. Percy thought it was cute how she couldn't say any of their names correctly yet. Well, for Annabeth who has always been an exception, who Estelle calls "Annie". 

"Is that my favorite sister?" He asked towards the direction of her giggling. His mom made her way over to hand Estelle over to Percy.

"Here. She's been asking about you all day." Sally kissed his forehead before leaving the siblings to themselves. 

"Have you missed me?" He asked tickling her stomach. She kicked and screamed with laughter and Percy thought it was the best sound he ever heard. "What? I can't understand you." He said with a grin as he tickled her more.

"How was your first meeting, Percy?" Paul asked from behind him. He didn't hear Paul coming and flinched a little too hard for anyone not to notice. Percy gave a nervous laugh and shrugged while putting Estelle on his hip.

"It was," Percy sighed and thought honestly was for the better. "It wasn't how I thought it would be. I mean I guessed they might be a little full of themselves considering they're celebrities but that really are assholes." 

"Percy!" His mother shouted. "Watch your language in front of the baby!" She reprimanded. 

"Sorry, sorry." He rocked his sister in his arms to try and worm out the nerves creeping into his skin again. "They kept asking me these useless questions and don't even get me started on Thor or Tony." He scoffed. 

"Thor, the Norse god?" Paul asked. 

"Yeah, they're real too by the way. I don't know if I ever told you that." Paul made a small noise of interest noting Percy that no, he forgot to mention to his family that another pantheon of gods exist. "And he brought up Tar-," He stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat at always appears when he tries to say the name. "He said he was surprised I survived Tar-," He squeezed his eyes and clenched his teeth. It frustrated Percy to no end. It was just a name. The name of a place. The name of the place where he was blinded, and forced to drink fire, and where everyone and everything was trying to kill him, and where he almost killed a goddess, the place that haunted not only his dreams but his awake thoughts too, the place that made it difficult to stand in the kitchen while his mother bakes cookies because the heat of the oven reminds him of the smoldering heat of that damned hellscape. It was just a place. But it was also a name. The name of a primordial being that Percy came face to face with, if you can call what Percy saw as a face, the name of a being so frightening that Percy dropped his sword, the name of what Percy saw that most gods are too afraid to see, the name of the deity that would have killed him and most likely enjoyed it, if not for Damasen. 

"Ow." Estelle's voice broke threw Percy's thoughts. He only realized he was squeezing her too hard. Percy put her down but his breath was not coming quick enough. He couldn't see where he was, he couldn't hear over the sound of his heartbeat, or the sound of the blood of everyone in the room, he could feel their blood and it made Percy want to scream and throw things and break something. I can't be here, I'm too dangerous, I can't be here, I could hurt them, I can't hurt them. Percy clenched at his hair and pulled tight, trying to ground himself to the now. But it wasn't working. Open or closed, his eyes only saw black. It's too dark. Dark, dark, dark, like Akhlys's poison, dark like where His face should be, dark like the blood running through my and everyone else's veins. The blood that I could control. It was too dark. I am too dark. Percy could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks, but he couldn't make a sound, if he did, the monsters could find him. 

But there was no monsters in Sally's apartment. Only a boy, on his knees, clenching his hair and rapidly breathing to make up for his lack of air. The only monster here is me, was Percy's last thought before he immediately passed out.

Hello friends!! What a great way to end a chapter, huh? I hoped you all enjoyed and for a little clarification, Estelle is around 1-2 years old so she's still a baby. My original idea for this chapter was for Percy and Peter to have a little one on one meeting but decided to save that for after I wrote Percy having a panic attack :)

Feel free to comment, vote and I hope to see you in the next chapter!<3