BCN | Temptation in the Dark | Chan x Reader (female)

Chapter 17

Memories of him flashed through my mind - the words we'd shared, the expression he'd shown me, all those simple, everyday moments.

No... no, I'm not okay with that at all!

I hadn't forgotten what he'd said to me, the last time we'd spoken. I'd never forget it.

He'd put a seemingly impossible barrier between us, one I didn't know how to scale, or circumvent, or break.

So I told myself there was nothing I could do for him.

I told myself I couldn't help him, even if I stayed here with him.

But that was all just an excuse.

I was scared. Scared that the more I tried, the more he'd hurt me. And so I'd wanted to run away from it all.

The more I cared for him, the more it hurt when he turned his back on me. So it seemed easier to run away.

But if I really do run away... all I'll be left with is aching regret - regret so strong I'll never forgive myself.

If I really do run away... all I'll be doing is leaving the man I love alone in the darkness consuming him.

I lifted my hand, wiping away the last of the tears, and then looked down at the notebook again.

I don't want to give up on Chan.

So, I'm never giving up on him again. No matter what happens... I'm here for him.

If I reached for him, and he knocked my hand back, then I'd just have to reach for him again.

And if I still couldn't reach him, I'd just have to keep trying, and keep reaching out, as many times as it took.

So long as I keep trying, one day...

One day, I'll reach him. So long as I don't give up, that day will come. It has to.

Something I'd thought I'd lost was burning bright and hot in my heart again... and that something was hope.

"I can do this."

I stood up, my hands clenched into fists, and as I stared up at the sky, the colours of the sunset seemed warmer than before.

When Jisung gets back, I'll tell him I need to go and see Chan.

He might be at the weapons shop, so I'll start there. If he's not there, I'll keep looking.

And once I find him...

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone's labouring, rasping breath and I jumped a little.

The street was quieter than it had been when I'd first sat down, and there were fewer people passing me by.

But that sounded like someone in pain...

I hugged Chan's notebook to my chest as I carefully scanned the area around me for signs of anything odd.

"Oh!"

In the alleyway across from me, a man was crouched on the ground, curled in on himself, and he seemed to be trembling.

"Excuse me... are you okay?"

The man didn't move, the hood of his cloak falling across his face and hiding his expression from me, but he was still panting.

I didn't want to move too far into the alleyway alone, but he genuinely sounded like he was in pain, and I bit my lip.

I don't know what to do, but I can't just ignore him!

"Are you hurt? I can go and find a doctor, I'm sure there's one nearby..."

And it'll be much easier for me to bring a doctor to him than to try and bring him to a doctor!