Always There - Part 2 || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 204: Go Be Great

Josh's P.O.V

This whole thing felt surreal, but it felt like I had lived it so many times, replaying it over and over in my mind how it would finally go if, when, it was finally her and I together.

I still remembered that night in the car, the first time I ever admitted my true feelings for her to anyone, and it was to Jake. I knew then and there that I was going to marry her. And now here we were, celebrating our engagement, while he was upstairs, alone in his room, sulking because it wasn't him.

And even still.. I hurt for him.
Because for a short time, I had felt like him too.

I leaned down close, whispering into her ear.
"I'm gonna go talk to him." I said, gently kissing her cheek before she turned to me, nodding, giving me a gentle smile that melted my heart. She understood.

I knew that she still loved him, and I could be okay with that, because she chose me, and as long as she kept choosing me every day, things could be okay.

I felt my heart starting to beat faster as I slowly made my way upstairs, positive that he could hear me, giving him enough time to prepare himself too. I still had no idea what I was going to say to him, I just knew that I had to say something.

I couldn't leave without us talking about this.

As I reached the top, I took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before finally forcing myself to knock on his door. There was silence. I'm sure he was cleaning himself up. He always ran and hid when he cried.
"Jake.." I said, now hearing him get up from his bed, his footsteps practically pacing around his room before the door slowly opened. He stared back at me with bloodshot eyes and a blushing red face.

"What." He muttered.
"Can we talk about this?" I asked, praying he wouldn't shut me out. He held his stare on me for a moment before finally moving out of the way. I made my way inside, going over and plopping down into his desk chair, spinning around to face him as he practically threw himself back onto his bed.

We were both quiet again, no doubt waiting for the other to start.
We always did this, and he always won.
But tonight..

"You didn't tell me." He said softly, avoiding my eyes. I nodded, biting down on my lip.
"You know that I couldn't. Not after everything.."
"I just thought, even still.. this would always be something that we talked about with each other first."
"You're right." I sighed. "I should have told you. I'm sorry."
"Were you.. thinking about it for a while?" He asked. I shrugged, smirking back at him.

"You know I've been thinking about this my entire life." I said. I heard him sigh, giggling quietly to himself.
"Yeah, yeah.. I remember."

We were quiet again.

"I really think you should talk to her, Jake." I said. "I know that.. all she really wants is for you to be happy for her." He nodded, wiping his face again.
"I.. I know, and.. I'm sorry, but it's just.. I lov-"
"I know." I said, quick to cut him off. Just because I knew didn't mean I wanted to hear it. I could pretend it wasn't real, but having either of them confirm it out loud was another story.

He understood.
"I'll talk to her." He whispered, looking back down at his hands as he awkwardly picked at his nails.
"Okay." I sighed, pushing myself up from his chair, and headed for the door.

"Josh.." He said softly. I instantly turned around, hoping he would stop me.
"Yeah?"
"I.. I am happy for you, don't think I'm not, it's just.." He sighed, now smirking back at me. "I just wish that it could have been me." I couldn't help but smile, going over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. He hesitated for a moment before hugging me back, eventually playfully shoving me away.
"Alright, go." He groaned, holding that same smile. I nodded, lucky to even get that much, heading for the door, and making my way back downstairs.

Jaime's P.O.V

I hadn't heard any screaming or doors slamming, only leaving me to believe that they had probably just killed each other. I hated that Jake was so hurt about this, but I knew that, deep down, this was the right decision.

Finally I heard gentle footsteps making their way down the hall as Josh peeked his head back inside, looking until his eyes met mine, motioning for me to come over. I finished my glass, placing it down on the counter and quietly made my way over to him without trying to draw any attention to myself.

"Everything okay?" I whispered. He nodded, leaning in and gentle kissing my forehead.
"Yeah. I just think you should talk to him." My stomach dropped, knowing that the two of us talking right now was probably the worst thing we could do. He needed to cool off. I knew how he got and I'm sure it would just ruin the rest of the night, especially when all I really wanted to do was leave so him and I could just be alone together.

"Josh, I just want us to-"
"I know, I know, and we're going to. I just.. I think it's important if.. you two kinda hash this out now. Because the longer we let it linger-"
"Fine." I sighed, grabbing onto his shirt and pulling him into a long kiss. "And then we can go?" He nodded, giggling to himself.
"And then we can go."

I reluctantly made my way upstairs, dreading what could possibly come from this, but if it made Josh happy that I would do it. For him.

I gently knocked on Jake's door, remembering that night over the summer, though a little foggier than most, I still remembered the look in his eyes as he leaned back against it, staring down at me, inviting me in. Even in that moment, I knew it was wrong, but something in me just needed to know, just once.

And now here we were.

I wonder how different life could have been if I had just cuddled up next to Josh on the couch that night and fallen asleep too. We could have avoided so much.

Or would we?
Would I have spent my entire life wondering what if?
Perhaps it was good that we jumped.
Because now I knew.
Now I was sure.

Finally he opened his door, staring back at me with bloodshot eyes and a blotchy face. He had been crying. I hated seeing him cry. He held his stare on me for a moment before moving out of the way, inviting me in. I hesitated in the doorway before finally going over and sitting down on the edge of his bed, looking back up at him.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, the only thing I could think of. He shook his head, making his way over, sitting down close to me.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He finally said.
"Yes I do."
"No. You don't. I'm sorry. I was being selfish. And.. I hated that he felt like he had to keep this a secret from me. But.. I'm always going to love you, Jaime. Nothing's going to change that. It's always been you. But I guess for you, it's always been him, and.. I can learn to be okay with that."
"Really?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster. He nodded, peeking back over at me.
"Yeah.." He sighed, playfully rolling his eyes. "It's going to take a while but.. I guess it'll be a little easier with you guys being gone."

I couldn't help but think back on the last time he had left, how badly I missed him. I really hoped that wasn't the case this time, especially having Josh with me, but I couldn't be sure. Not until we were apart again.

"I'm gonna miss you." I whispered. I heard him sigh again, reaching over for my hand, squeezing it tight as he brought it up to his lips, gently kissing the top.
"Don't do this, Jaime." He laughed. I bit down on my lip, unable to contain my smile.
"Sorry."
"I'm gonna miss you too."

He held his stare on me with that same dazed look in his eyes, his gaze slowly moving down to my lips. I shook my head, smirking back at him. He nodded, his smile growing.
"Not even a kiss goodbye?" He asked, moving in closer. I shook my head, holding my stare on him.
"No.." I said softly.

"Alright." He groaned, playfully shoving me away. "Then get out of here.. go be great."