Always There - Part 2 || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 242: Keep This Between Us

As I pulled into the parking lot, a rush of nerves took over, leaving me frozen in my seat. I could tell Sam sensed that something was wrong, but he was kind enough not to draw too much attention to it.

"What, are you expecting me to do your shopping for you now too?" He joked, playfully nudging me, instantly knocking me out of my anxious trance. I forced a smile, subtly shaking my head. His face dropped.

"You alright?" He asked. "You're being weird." I nodded, looking back over at the door, knowing that disappointment lied just on the other side of it. But I couldn't help but hold onto that tiny glimmer of hope, that maybe it had finally happened.

"What do you need here anyway?" He pried. I could tell he was getting antsy, I'm sure not wanting to spend his day like this, but even still. I was thankful to not have to go through this alone, even if he didn't know what this was yet.

I bit down on my lip, nervously looking over at him, praying that somehow he had become a mind reader so I could avoid actually having to have this conversation with him.

But no such luck.

"Can I tell you something?" I finally asked.
"Something tells me I don't really have a choice here." He laughed. My smile was now much more genuine.
"This time you do, because.. I just.. I really need someone, and.. I'd like for it to be you right now because I'm just.. I don't know.." He held his stare on me, his face dropping.
"Are you okay?" He asked again, this time more concerned. I nodded.

"Y-yeah, I think so, I just-"
"Just spit it out, Jaime. It's okay."
"We're here to get pregnancy tests." I finally blurted out, my body instantly feeling like it was on fire. I turned away, not wanting to face him in the fear of not liking what I saw.

He was quiet for a moment until he finally reached over, grabbing my hand. I peeked back up at him to see him staring back at me with a gentle smile and much kinder eyes then expected.
"Well, that's exciting, right?" He said softly. I nodded.
"I.. I think so."
"That's.. what you guys wanted.. right?" I nodded again.
"Then.. it's exciting." I couldn't help but smile, suddenly feeling so much better that he was the one with me right now.

I hesitated for a moment before finally letting go and getting out of the car. He did the same, following closely as we made our way inside.
"Now, I'm no expert on this.." He joked, trailing behind as I looked through the aisles.
"Good, you shouldn't be." I said, smirking back up at him. He scrunched up his face, shaking his head.
"What, it's okay for you, but not for me?"
"Yes, I'm older than you."
"Not by much, Jaime, since you apparently seem to forget."
"But enough." I said. I heard him sigh.

"You're still young too, you know." He said quietly as we finally found the aisle, scanning every shelf until we saw them, but once again I was lost, wishing I had done a little more research on this before coming.

"So, which one do you get?" He asked, leaning down to look with me. I scanned the shelf one more time before picking one and throwing it into the basket.
"This one is fine." I said, just knowing it was the only one I had seen commercials for. We made our way through the store, tossing in little things along the way before reaching the registers where I saw him going for his wallet.

"Absolutely not." I laughed, moving in front of him.
"Oh, Jaime. Let me help, it's the least I could do for my niece or nephew." My heart jumped at the thought. He would be such an amazing uncle, and I prayed there would be a day that I could see him in action.
"I appreciate it, but.. I got it."
"You can buy lunch."
"I already said I woul-" He then moved in front of me, sliding his card into the reader, avoiding my eyes as a sly grin escaped his lips. I peeked up at him, feeling my cheeks burn.
"Thank you." I mouthed. He nodded, slipping his card back into his wallet.

When we got back into the car, I tossed the bag down onto the floor. He got in, quietly shutting the door behind him. I could tell there was still more he wanted to say.
"So.. if you are.." He finally started. "Would that mean.. you and Josh would get back together?" My stomach dropped.

"I.. I don't know, I.. I guess.. well, we'd.. we'd have to talk about it." I managed, my heart now pounding in my chest. I had already taken a test after the last time Josh and I were together, and it had come back negative quicker than any of the rest.

I knew if this test came back positive.. it wasn't Josh's.

"What would there be to talk about?" He asked. I shrugged, avoiding his eyes. He sat in the silence with me, I'm sure assessing what else could possibly be wrong.
"Well, if it's any help.. just know that.. he was excited to be a dad too." He muttered. I peeked back over at him.
"Really?" I asked. "He said that to you?" He nodded.
"Mhm.."

There were moments over the course of the last few months when I questioned if he truly was ready, or if he was only going along with it to make me happy. He knew how important this was to me, especially considering how much time I didn't know I had left with my mom, but that was no reason for him to change his entire life if this wasn't what he actually wanted. So, hearing it from someone else was a little more reassuring.

But then I felt tears coming to my eyes, knowing that if this time, there were finally two lines, this would change everything. No one even knew that Jake and I had gotten back together, let alone had already slept together again. And the night of Josh's accident, I wasn't thinking straight. I was angry and upset and.. everything had happened so fast. And when I had gone so many months without so much as a scare, I couldn't help but feel like, maybe it just wasn't in the cards for me, so.. what was the harm in not being.. completely careful.

"Jaime?" He asked, reaching over and gently wiping my eyes. I turned to face him again, trying my best to contain my now rapid breaths.
"Sam, I.. I need to trust you that.. you won't tell anyone.." His face dropped.
"What is it?"

"Josh and I.. haven't been together." I muttered. "In a.. long time." He was quiet for a moment, his eyes eventually going wide.
"W-what are you saying, Jaime?"
"I'm saying that.. if.. if I am, it's.. it's not his." He was quiet again.
"Who's is it?" He asked, but I knew he knew the answer to that. He just wanted to hear me say it. Which, partly I was thankful for. Maybe if I said it out loud, the idea of it wouldn't completely knock the wind out of me every time I thought about it.

It wasn't so much so that I was scared anymore, not about this, not with him, but.. he was finally trying again, and the last thing I wanted to do was give him another reason to give up. And I knew he would. He would want to be involved in every way, and in order for him to do that, there was no way he could go on tour. And I would never forgive myself if I kept him from what he was truly meant to do.

And that would always be music.

"That night that Josh got into the accident.." I started, my heart now beating faster the more intently he stared at me. Sam had never made me nervous before, but then again, he had never looked at me like that.
"Jake and I-"
"It's Jake's?" He asked, a little louder than I was expecting. More tears came to my eyes, but this time I wiped them away myself.

"As of right now it's no one's because we don't even know if there is one." I said. "But.. it.. it can't be. This would ruin everything, he's supposed to finally be going and-"
"Jaime, you know how much he wants this too."
"He thinks he does, but if given the choice, he would always pick music, and I need him too. I owe him that much."

"Jaime, I don't-"
"I just.. I need you to keep this between us right now, okay?" I pleaded. "They can't know. Not until.. I know what I'm gonna do."
"W-what do you mean.. what you're gonna do?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, avoiding his eyes before starting the car and driving off.