Always There - Part 2 || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 207: Graduation Day

Jake's P.O.V

It had been months since I'd seen Jaime.

The day the two of them moved into their apartment, she had called me late that night, I'm assuming having waited for Josh to finally fall asleep in order to tell me that she didn't think it would be a good idea if I came to visit her.

"Obviously if you want to come see Josh, I can't stop you. But.. I just don't think it would be appropriate for you to come see me, specifically. Josh and I are engaged now, and.. I never want him to feel uncomfortable ever again. He doesn't deserve that. And I know you and I are going to be family but.. I just think some space will do us good. You focus on your music, and I'll focus on school, and.. come graduation day, all of this can be behind us, right?"

I didn't know what to say.

We were over, and I knew that, but never did I think I'd have to go without seeing her, especially for so long. I thought we were in a good place now. So why couldn't I at least just see her?

"Right."  I muttered. It was all I could manage. The words making me feel like the floor had given out from beneath me. All of this can be behind us, right? She said it so nonchalantly, like I hadn't gone a single day without thinking about her, like I didn't see her everywhere I went, every song I wrote, now about her, I couldn't even look at other girls, not without the deep dread of guilt.

Despite the fact that she was engaged now, they were engaged, I just couldn't let go of the idea that it had been us all along, and if I hadn't been so stupid, if I hadn't been so scared of how I actually felt for her, this whole time, maybe she would be wearing my ring right now.

Because if that's what she wanted, I could be ready for her. I could been ready for whatever she wanted.

Jaime's mom had even offered to take me, the few times her and her sister went to go visit Jaime, but I had always insisted they go without me, not wanting to intrude on their plans, when really it was Jaime who didn't want me intruding on her plans.

Josh had come home a few times, all without Jaime, and we spent every day trying our best not to bring her up. But some days it was damn near impossible.

I could tell how excited he was about being engaged, and I hated that I was the one standing in the way of him getting to truly celebrate, but at the same time, it meant the world to me that he respected my grieving too.

Not a word was said.
We both just knew.

But now, today was graduation day. Both her Mom and our family had decided to drive together, and after nearly a twelve hour drive, I finally saw the New York City skyline in the distance. It was just like I imagined it, and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Jaime seeing it for the first time, knowing that her dreams were about to come true.

Despite how excited I was to finally see her again, I had never been more nervous in my life. What if this really was all behind her now, and she was fine, and I was left with this lifelong hole in my chest that did nothing but ache for her, knowing it was only going to get that much worse when I laid eyes on her again.

I missed the golden glimmer of her eyes when the sun started to set, the shimmering highlights within her light brown hair, so wavy and free, the sweet scent of vanilla that always wafted from her skin when I was lucky enough to get close enough to smell it.

I wondered if she missed me too.
If she even thought about me.

I quickly became overwhelmed with the city as we made our way through the tunnel and down the street, turning every which way we were able to. We couldn't have gotten further from home if we tried. After living in our small town for our entire lives, I could only imagine how Jaime must feel here. My tiny, precious Jaime; the smallest fish in the biggest ocean.

I hoped she was okay.
I wish she would have at least called me.

"We're getting close!" Mom called out, and my heart instantly started to pound. We were getting close, which meant it was only a matter of minutes before I saw her again. What would she say? What would I say? The thought of it made me sick. I secretly wondered if it was too late to turn back around.

I peeked over to see Mrs. Adams gazing out the window, admiring everything with wide eyes and a smile. I was so happy she was able to make it. There were a few instances where Mom and I had to run over after getting a call in the middle of the night, speeding down the highway to get her to the hospital. She made us promise not to tell Jaime anything, not wanting to scare her into coming home before she was able to do what she went there to do.

But I knew if it ever got too far, I would have to break that promise. Because if anything happened to Mrs. Adams and Jaime wasn't there, I knew she would never forgive me. And that just wasn't something I was ever willing to risk. I just really didn't want that to be the first phone call we had since she left.

Thankfully it never came to that.

She eventually felt me staring, turning to face me, flashing me a tired grin as she reached over and grabbed my hand. My cheeks burned, knowing what she was doing. But I appreciated her discretion, giving her a subtle nod.

Then I felt the car stop.
My heart sunk.

Why was this suddenly so scary? This was Jaime. My Jaime. Even if she wasn't really my Jaime anymore, she would always be.. my Jaime. She was the one person who could truly bring me down to Earth, and now suddenly it was like I would do anything just to throw myself off of it.

"Finally!" Mom groaned, quickly climbing out and slamming the door behind her. I sighed, looking out the window before I felt Mrs. Adams squeeze my hand. I felt a little better.
"You're gonna be just fine." She whispered. "And you look great." I smirked back at her, feeling my cheeks burn.

As badly as I wanted to say that I didn't put in any extra effort knowing I was seeing Jaime today, I'd be lying if I did. I took an extra long shower, combing out my hair as perfectly as I could manage, giving myself an extra spray of her favorite cologne after pulling her old t-shirt over my head.

I hoped she wouldn't mind.
I just wanted her to know that I was thinking of her.
I was always thinking of her.

"Thank you." I mouthed to her. She gave me another nod before letting go of my hand and reluctantly pushing herself out of the car. I let out another deep sigh, forcing myself out and quickly checking my reflection in the car door.

I guess this was a good as it was gonna get.

We all made our way down the sidewalk, trying our best to keep our staring to a minimum as we followed Mom, who did her best to keep up with the constantly changing GPS.

"Okay, so we're just gonna make another right here.. and.. here it is!" She said, and my body went cold. She pointed out a tall building at the end of the street, her face lighting up as we were now surrounded by other families, all just as lost and confused.

"Josh said to meet us across the street so we can get away from the crowds." She said, guiding us over where we all anxiously waited for them to make their way out of their building. This was excruciating. I quickly wiped my suddenly sweaty hands on my pants, wondering how I was even going to greet her. We were much more than a handshake. A hug, maybe? But.. I knew the second I saw her all I would want to do was kiss her.

"There they are!" Mom yelled out, frantically waving in the other direction. I took a deep breath, running my fingers through my hair one last time before turning around.

Instantly, it felt like my legs were about to give out, my stomach now feeling hollow as my entire body froze into a lovesick tundra.

And then.. I saw her.