Always There - Part 2 || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 209: Reduced

Jake's P.O.V

I barely recognized her, not until she finally turned to look at me. I would know those eyes anywhere.
But everything else..

She was so much skinnier, making me wonder if she was okay. Her once light, wild and wavy hair now straightened flat, colored a dark black, almost blue when it hit the light, parted harshly down the middle and so much longer than I remember, falling halfway down her back.

Despite everything, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She always would be. It didn't matter what she looked like on the outside, not to say that this new Jaime wasn't beautiful too. She was.. stunning, like one of those models you'd see on the many billboards we passed on the way here. New York had swallowed her whole, but she came out of it looking like she really belonged, and I knew that's all she had ever really wanted.

But now she was making her way over to me, and it felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, I quickly wiped my sweaty hands against my pants again, subtly fixing my hair, wondering how I was going to approach this.

It was like she moved in slow motion, the world around us falling away the closer she got. It was taking everything in me not to just reach out and grab her, holding her like I've needed to hold her for months.

I couldn't believe how much you could miss another person until Jaime was taken away from me. And ever since that day it felt like a part of me was missing and now she was only a few feet away and I could finally start to feel whole again.

"Jaime.." I sighed, reaching my arms out, going in for a hug, when I was stopped in my tracks as he reached her hand out.

A handshake?
My heart sunk.

I awkwardly moved away, pulling my arms back and looked down at her hand. She held her stare on me, a subtle smile across her lips. I finally forced myself to take her hand, gently shaking it, giving her as much of a smile as I could manage without letting it show just how hard it was for me to keep it together. I could already feel the tears come to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away.

I felt a little better when she brought her other hand up, giving it a gentle squeeze, now holding mine with both of hers. But I wanted more. I wanted so much more. I had played this moment over and over in my head for months, and not once did I see it going like this.

A handshake?
Even complete strangers hug each other.
And I got a handshake?

"Hi.." She finally muttered, biting down on her lip. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but nothing that was appropriate for a crowded street surrounded by our entire family. And especially not on her big day.

I could be civil today.

"Hi.." I said softly, my eyes instantly moving down to her lips, thinking back to the last time we kissed. The entirety of that night was a painful blur, all except for that moment. She kissed me with such intensity, with such fury, with such.. fear. And I owed my life to it.

And to think now we were reduced to a handshake, like we didn't once hold each other like we were terrified to let go, kiss like we were starved for each other, made love with such indescribable fervor where I knew there was no one else in the world who could make me feel as alive as she did, and then she drove away, and a piece of me died.

Jaime's P.O.V

He stared at me like he had seen a ghost, suddenly making me self-conscious of this new look that, as of five minutes ago, I had loved, but now the thought of him not finding me attractive anymore..

well, I guess that didn't matter anymore.
I was engaged and my fiancé liked it.
And that was what mattered.

But then his eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a beat, just like it always did when he looked at me. He flashed me his familiar flustered grin, his cheeks burning a beloved shade of adorable pink.

The many shades of him, always my favorite colors.

As I made my way over to him, it felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I nervously spun my ring around my finger, before quickly running my fingers through my hair, wondering how I was going to approach this.

I felt the world now moving in slow motion around us, everything else falling into a faint, muffled blur, unable to focus on anything or anyone but him.

How was it that we could be completely surrounded by hundreds of thousands of strangers, and yet all I could feel was complete comfort matched with undeniable angst, all alone with him.

After all this time.

"Jaime.." He finally sighed, reaching his arms out for me, but in that moment I just.. froze. The idea of him holding me again, the feeling of his body against mine, it sent me into a frenzy of memories and lustful flashbacks of moments that all began with just the feeling of him.

Then I reached out my hand, and his face dropped. I didn't blame him. A handshake? We were so much more than a handshake, and I knew that, but if I pushed this any farther, I couldn't control what would happen next.

He awkwardly moved away, pulling his arms back before looking down at my hand. He could feel it too. But I stayed put, knowing this was for the best, despite just how much it killed me. I had dreamt about this moment for months, but because of that, I knew this was for the best.

Especially considering I could feel Josh staring at us.

I held my stare on him, forcing as much of a smile as I could manage, considering I felt like I was seconds away from throwing up. Why was this so hard? How could someone who was once my peace become such a force of emotional distress.

Finally, he took my hand and I felt like my heart was going to explode, realizing that it didn't matter where or how he touched me, the feeling of his skin was always going burn mine with the most lustful of intentions, no matter how outwardly innocent our motives might appear.

I brought my other hand up, gently caressing his, embracing him as much as I could manage without taking that deadly leap that I was forever restricted against ever since I agreed to wear this golden band of diamonds on my hand, which suddenly felt so much heavier than I remembered.

"Hi.." I finally muttered, biting down on my lip. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but nothing that was appropriate knowing that my fiancé was within earshot.

"Hi.." He said softly, his eyes instantly moving down to my lips, and I was instantly brought back to the first night we kissed. The first night we really kissed. Not all of those almost's or maybe's or surprises.. but our first real kiss. In the pouring rain out by the tree. Our tree, where everything began. How often I thought about that tree, and every time, amiable thoughts of him closely followed.

And that's why it was so easy to write about us.

And to think, now we were reduced to a handshake, like we didn't pour into each other like the most rigorous waterfalls, our hopes and dreams and darkest secrets that we swore would stay behind closed doors locked tight and sealed lips that we had once thought wouldn't taste another's after they had graced each other's with such desire, because how could you ever want the feeling of anyone else's when you've finally tasted the best.

He set something ablaze within me that made me feel so alive, but I knew the moment that ring slid onto my finger, I would have to kill off that part of our lives too.

I just didn't know if I could.