Always There - Part 2 || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 237: Miles Apart at Heart

Josh's P.O.V

As if the accident wasn't bad enough, this cast was unbearable. How was I supposed to work on the movie now? Like this? I could barely do anything. And even still, nothing compared to the rage I felt growing inside of me, having to watch the two of them across the field, off under their stupid tree.

I had no reason to be angry with her, I knew that. I told her to go. That was my fault. But even still, I thought after everything we had been through, she would have come back. But she didn't. She was off with him now, looking happier than I had seen her in months.

And that's not to say we didn't have an amazing time together; it was everything I had dreamt of our entire lives, getting to come home to her, be with her every night, but even still, our best days and nights would never compare to how she felt when she was with him, and I knew that. And it would be selfish of me to keep her held captive when I knew where her heart truly belonged.

They belonged to each other.

"I think if you squeeze that glass any tighter that cast is going to be the least of your problems." I heard from behind me, Sam coming up and leaning up against the table. I let out a deep sigh, finally putting it down, trying my best to conceal how white my knuckles had turned.
"I'm fine." I snapped, keeping my eyes locked on them. He did the same.
"No you're not. And it's okay. I'm not either." I peeked up at him, wondering what he could be talking about, to which he returned with a confirming nod.

Him?
After all this time.. him too?

"What do you-"
"It doesn't matter. We don't have to talk about it." He muttered, keeping his eyes forward. He couldn't honestly expect me to not want to talk about it after saying something like that.
"We can talk about it if you want." I insisted. He finished the last of his drink, putting his glass down beside him.

"You two were engaged, my little crush doesn't matter." I was now aware of just how bloodshot his eyes were, just how much he was struggling to keep himself up. I should've known that this was a secret that was kept locked tight, only to be let out once he had emptied enough bottles to make him brave enough to finally set it free.

"It still matters." I said softly, giving him a subtle smile. "It's Jaime. I understand." He nodded, giggling to himself.
"How did she manage to do it to all of us?" He finally laughed. I shrugged, bringing my attention back to them. They had gotten closer, Jake now running his fingers through her hair. I could feel my chest getting tighter, remembering how it felt.

How badly I missed being held by her.

"What happened with you two?" I finally forced myself to ask, knowing that no matter what his answer was, I wasn't going to be thrilled, but at this point what was one more. It was better than not knowing. He shrugged again.
"I kissed her. On New Year's Eve." My stomach dropped. We had kissed on New Year's Eve. He noticed my confusion.

"It was after the ball drop. It was stupid. Her and I went outside and.. I don't know.. she was talking about how excited she was and.. I just.. it just happened." He said softly, now avoiding my eyes, eventually bringing his attention back to them. I could tell it hurt him too.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean that, I just-"
"It's okay. I get it. It's.. Jaime." I said. He nodded.
"It's Jaime."

We were quiet for a while, just watching them, seeing how they fit so perfectly intertwined within one another. As infuriating as it was, I couldn't deny how happy it made me to see her so happy, even if it wasn't with me.

I would never forget that night that Jake had forced her back to me, sobbing, begging me to take her own. The look on her face, it broke my heart knowing that someone had hurt her so badly, and it only made it that much worse knowing that that same someone was the only one who could also make her this happy.

"If it helps.." Sam said, peeking back over at me. "She didn't like it. So.. you don't have to worry about me." A smile eventually escaped his lips, despite his now blushing face. I nodded, playfully shoving him away.
"That does help, actually."
"That's what I'm here for."

I could sense the sadness in his voice, and it hurt me to think that all these years, he had his own feelings that he felt he had to keep to himself too. I don't know why after everything I had never truly seen the way that Jake looked at Jaime. Maybe I was too lost within our own world to notice, or maybe it was the fact that he did have a different girlfriend every week. I guess none of us ever imagined Jake ever being the serious girlfriend type.

Jaime was his only exception.

"When are you gonna talk to her?" Sam asked. I shrugged, now feeling my heart beat faster. The idea of talking to her now felt pointless. It wasn't going to change anything. I was the one that was always standing in their way, and now that I had let her go, they were finally free to be with each other again, and deep down I know that's all they've ever wanted.

So who was I to stand in the middle of it?

"I don't really want to interrupt that." I sneered, motioning out towards them when I saw her start to lean into a kiss. I quickly looked away, knowing that wasn't something I could handle seeing again. He did the same, making me wonder just how deep he was in it too.
"Well, I don't really see that ending any time soon, so.. if you want to talk to her, you're gonna have to make her make time."

I hated that he was right. I hated that I now felt like I was intruding on them when how many days ago we were thinking about a wedding and a family together. Now, for all I know, those plans might not have changed, but they sure as hell didn't include me anymore.

"Come on, how scary can she be? She was going to be your wife." He joked, but the words cut like a knife. She was going to be my wife, the mother of my children, and now here I was, standing across the yard, terrified to talk to her.

I felt like I was 16 all over again, when suddenly, one by one, everyone started to bring girls home, and I was just stuck here, staring at Jaime, wondering what it would be like to have her hold my hand and finally have someone of my own on date nights, instead of being the one to tag along with everybody else.

It was always meant to be her.

"Would you still want her to be?" He asked.
"Yes." I blurted out, feeling my face get hot. He was quiet, eventually flashing me a smile.
"Then I think you need to tell her that. Because.. if I saw my fiancé curled up with some guy like that-"
"Okay!" I snapped, waving him off. "You're right."

But I couldn't bring myself to move, my legs suddenly feeling like cinderblocks slowly sinking into the damp grass. My heart sunk again, seeing her lean into another kiss, to which he returned it with a tighter embrace, his fingers moving into her hair.

Her long, now dark shiny hair, so beautiful as it fell over her shoulders, and lied down her back. How it messily hung in her face after our many hours in bed, submerged within each other in ways I never imagined I could be with someone else, let alone my Jaime.. and now here we were; perfect strangers across the yard, a couple hundred feet away, but miles apart at heart.

I instantly snapped out of it as I felt Sam gently shove me towards them, shooting me a look. If I didn't do it now, I never would, and then I'd spend the rest of my life kicking myself for letting her go twice.

"Alright.." I sighed, taking a deep breath before forcing myself over to them.