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chapter thirty-eight 

she was gone 

3rd person pov 

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3rd person pov 

via sat in front of the house with everyone and she stared at it in shock. the whole thing was up in flames and she realized that john b didn't have a home anymore. she realised that she didn't have a place to go when things got hard and neither did anyone else. everything they had was gone and she realized that maybe that was how it was supposed to be. maybe that was the whole point of things, to let things burn and char until they're unrecognizable and you stare at the ash wondering if the way they are now is the way they've always been. 

via looked at john b and then at the others. kiara had her head resting on v's shoulder as did jj and the three of them stared at the house together. she could feel sarahs eyes staring at her but she didn't make eye contact or even look at the women for a second. she couldn't and she wouldn't. the way things were, they had been like this for a while and she had to see that. maybe this was a sign. maybe leaving was the best idea and she knew that now. 

"i have to go home" via whispered and jj looked at her as he made eye contact with pope and then kiara. they knew she was going home to pack her things and disappear. it was no secret that she had been feeling like this for a while and now she could finally do it. 

"I'll come with you" kiara told her and via shook her head as she stood up and so did sarah but she didn't look at her. jj stood up and grabbed her arms turning her to him and he nodded his head, she knew that he knew and for some reason that made the whole thing worse. he wanted to go with her but he couldn't. he knew that she needed to do this and so did everyone else. 

"walk with me?" he asked and she nodded as they got up and so did kiara. cleo, john b  sarah and pope  watched the three of them get up together and walk off. there was something in the way they all walked together which proved something to the others. 

"youre leaving aren't you?" jj asked her as they got far enough away that the others couldn't hear them and via nodded as she turned to them and nodded. via thought about the fact that cat probably knew she was leaving and there was nothing she could do but help her pack. 

"how long have you been thinking about leaving?" kiara asked her sister and via sighed as she shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. she looked around and then at the charred home that used to be the chateau and then at them again. 

"for a while. when we got back, nothing was the same and then sarah cheated on me and i realized that i have no purpose here. we're all changing and growing and i need to let the things go that hold me down and make me feel the way i do. i would never without telling you two. i could never do that. i wrote a letter for sarah before last night about the fact that i was leaving. i wrote some for you guys too but they're not the same. i want you guys to know that this is hard for me and I'm trying really hard to remember why I'm leaving. if this was easier, i would be gone by now but I'm not and i really hope youre not mad at me for this" she started to cry and kiara felt her eyes water as jj did too. she was their sister and they would always need her but if leaving was the best thing for her, they would have to understand and they would have to stand by her side 

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