The Tracy Family Feud (Thunderbirds)

Chapter 39

*Alan's POV*

I changed into my pyjamas and I climbed into bed, I couldn't sleep, I was starving, my cuts hurt and I feel stupid, I felt someone's arms wrap around me, I jumped

"Alan, it's ok, it's me" Gordon whispered

"You caught me off guard" I mumbled

"Sorry" Gordon apologised

His hair was tickling the back of my neck

"No, I'm sorry I shouted at you" I turned over to face him so I could talk to him

"Alan, I'm worried about something" Gordon looked worried

"What happened" I asked

"I think I'm gay" Gordon replied

"What makes you think that, you never know, there are other sexual oreintations" I told him

"I'm just scared dad will disown me if I tell him that I've been feeling like this, I like girls as well, how does that work" Gordon frowned

"You're bisexual then, if you're attracted to both genders then you're bisexual" I explained

"I think dad will still hate me" Gordon muttered

"Tell him when you wake up tomorrow, plus you have Virgil and me on your side and you know how Virgil is once he gets p*ssy and snappy with dad" I laughed

"Ok, thanks for helping me" Gordon smiled

Gordon fell asleep next to me, I woke up at six o'clock, today was Saturday, I got up and I got changed, I walked into the bathroom, I brushed my hair, now it's gone all poofy, I can't get changed unless Gordon leaves the room, otherwise he'll see my cuts

"Hey Alan stop hogging the bathroom, I need to pee" Gordon whined and he banged on the door

I swiftly left the bathroom and since Gordon takes forever to go to the toilet that'll leave me with enough time to get changed and not let him see, I took my pyjama shirt off first and I put a short sleeved shirt on, of course I also put a hoodie on as well, I put my cargo shorts on to hide the cuts on my thighs

"Hey kiddo, did you sleep alright last night" Virgil asked me when I wandered into his room

I nodded in response

"I need to tell you something" I whispered

"Allie whatever it is I swear I'll try and help" Virgil reassured me

"I started cutting again last night" I admitted

"Oh Alan you numpty, come here" Virgil sounded disheartened, he pulled me into his chest, I hate these hugs

"I'm sorry" I apologised

Gordon walked into Virgil's room, he was still zipping his "trousers" up, well they're not trousers they're just jeans that he bought and decided to roll the legs up because he thought it looked "cool"

"What's wrong" Gordon asked

"I started cutting again" I told him

"I know, you idiot, I saw last night" Gordon sighed impatiently

"Now Gordon don't get angry at him" Virgil warned Gordon

"Angry?, oh I'm more than angry, why didn't you tell us Al, we could've done something" Gordon snapped, I broke free from Virgil's embrace

"Hey it's not my fault-" I tried to protest but Gordon interrupted me

"Yeah but who was the one cutting you, not me, not Virgil, not dad, you, you could have stopped yourself!" Gordon shouted and he prodded me in the chest with his finger

"You don't know how hard it is for me to stop myself!" I yelled back and grabbed his hand, I hated that he was treating me this way, I guess I forgot how hard I was holding on

"Alan, stop, you're hurting me" Gordon cried, he tried to struggle free

"Shut up" I snarled, what I was doing brought him to his knees

"Allie what the f*ck are you playing at" Virgil was angry now, this forced me to let go of Gordon's hand, Gordon was crying

"Alan, why are you hurting us" Gordon sobbed

Virgil took hold of my shoulders and he lowered himself to my level

"Why did you do that to him, Alan what on earth is wrong with you" Virgil asked, he shook me a couple of times to get that message into my head, I hated everyone right now, even my brothers, I punched Virgil in the stomach, this caused him to fall to the floor, I had to run, dad is going to kill me, he's not going to give a damn about my mental state, he only cares about Gordon, Virgil, John and Scott, he's never going to care about me