Filming buddies

Roommate dating game

1451 words

Today Jake wanted all the roommates to do a skit so that is exactly what we did. Jake came out and said "Hello America my name is Hugh Janus and my friend Anna Borshin". I walked in and said "And you're watching the dating game".

Then Jake said "Our contestants today are going to find their one true love". I looked at the camera and said "We have one lucky single who can have one of three bachelors". Jake looked at me and said "Well let's get these bachelors introduced".

I nodded and said "So for our first bachelor welcome Colby Fourskin". Colby walked out, I looked at Jake and whispered "Is that really his name". Jake looked at me and said "Well that's what it says on his papers". I looked at him and nodded.

Then Jake said "Give it up for bachelor number two Aaron". Aaron walked out and said "Thank you thank you". I looked at the camera and said "What a lovely young chap". I sighed and then said "Anyways our last bachelor is Corey Jenna Tools".

Corey walked out as I looked at Jake and said "I'm sure you're shitting me with these um interesting names". Jake looked at me and said "It's all on their records". I looked at him and said "Ah okay then".

Then Jake said "So before we start the game why don't we get to know our bachelors". I looked at the bachelors sat on the couch and said "Because I'm pretty sure you all would like to know about these singles".

Then Jake said "Colby's a 8th grader likes to go to frat parties and drink beer and anything because his parents are lame, give it up for Colby". I looked at Aaron and said "Aaron currently thinks he's a Walgreen's and doesn't know what is going on half of the time give it up to Aaron".

Jake looked at Corey and said "Corey thinks that aedgos his biological said that he dropped out of Harvard to join the mingoes give it up for Corey". I looked at the bachelors and said "Hey bachelors how bout we bring out the contestant".

Colby, Aaron and Corey all said "Yeahh" and started clapping. Then Jake said "Well then contestant why don't ya come out now how bout that". Then I said "Give it out for our contestant Samuel Goldcock". Sam walked out and waved then sat down in a chair.

We went over to Sam and Jake said "Why don't we get to know Sam". I looked at the camera and said "Well we know he is a man that likes lux bird watching and he's a guy that's never done the good old Hong Kong".

Jake then said "He lives in his parents basement has huggee nipples but hey it's all gonna change today right". Jake put the mic near Sam's face and Sam said "Yeah". Then I said "Alright let's start this game".

Then Sam said "Okay bachelors if you were to make me a love song what would it say". Jake put the mic near Corey's face and Corey said "You're so effing precious Sam Goldcock, I'm on a dating gaming show and you're precious".

Sam looked around and said "Well that was that was nice so it rhymed and everything said my name a lot good job". Next Aaron said "Mary had a little Sam he was light as snow talking bout my nanna brown".

Then Sam said "Um well he had a good voice I really felt that he tried he's saying a lot". Then Colby said "This is for my shawty Sam Goldcock, I'm gonna grab your ass put my dick in your ass bend you over the table make you never forget, I don't have a small dick of my foreskin cock, fuck that pussy".

Corey looked at Colby and said "Aren't you like 12". Then Sam said "Number 3 um that one just scared me I didn't know what half of those words actually meant but like good job". I looked at the camera and said "Um wow that was um different Hugh wanna carry on".

Jake looked at me and said "Sure, I think that was pretty good for the first round cadets are you ready for the next round". Then Sam said "Okay bachelors what's your idea of the perfect date". Corey looked up and said "Um let's see the perfect date well it would probably start with me picking you up at your parents house probably like 6:45, I'd meet your dad I'd play chess with him and get to know your dad because your dad he's gonna become my best friend at the end of the day then we would go to dinner".

Sam looked up and said "Aw that's really sweet and all about my dad". Then Aaron said "We will go to a tortilla farm we gaze into that warm sunset, look each other right in the eyes let me go" he made some farting noises and then broke out of character.

Sam leaned forward to Jake and I and said "Did contestant number 2 say they want to fart with me". Then Colby said "Um so my perfect date would definitely be you know taking them back to my place like maybe pouring some champagne getting us a little loose and then you know we bout to do the game operation and play a couple rounds of that until we both really really tired of it and then you know after we have done operation I'll look him in the eyes and then I'll take off his pants fuck him in the ass a couple times bend him over the table and fuck him until he cries and then repeatedly fuck him till he dies" then Colby broke out of character.

Sam looked around and said "Wow that really sounds like my perfect night". I looked at the camera and Jake said "Alright well that was again interesting". I looked at Jake and then I said "I wonder if our bachelors have found their valentine yet why don't we ask and find out in the 3rd round, so why don't you pop the question".

Then Sam said "Okay what are your favourite scents". Corey looked and said "I really like the smell of like a lumberjack you know like uh metal maybe some chainsaw a little bit of wood being cut maybe some maple like a bit of syrup dripping from a tree on the corner yeah that smells really good".

Then Aaron said "I like George Washington's baby quarters are the way to go for scents also if you smell like a quarter that's a huge plus I love the smell of Nickelback in the morning get up in there a absolutely shove my face in that that sort of thing".

Then Colby said "I honestly just love the smell of ass like any big ass I just love ass it just smells great". Corey says "Dad's ass?". Jake looked at the camera and said "Wow that was a good round". I looked at the camera and said "Let's just get on with the last round".

So Sam said "So since it is the last round why should I pick you out of anyone else". Corey got the mic and said "Um I'm 5 foot four without shoes 5 foot ten with shoes so I'm a good time at all times I love going to the beach I love red lobster want to meet your dad first though".

Aaron looks up and says "Well if you choose me you know bro we are all hanging on D we are all hanging out on the edge of tomorrow and it's just about where you just hit the game you know so if your not playing don't swing the bat that is hidden from the bases love you".

Then Colby said "You know it is always a good time with me if he chooses me I'm gonna take him to my house put peanut butter on his nipples and lick it off slowly you know I've been over the couch with some Lettice tomatoes and meat sauce and eat his ass like a taco salad".

Jake looked at the camera and said "Woahhh that was a good round". I looked at the camera and said "Anyways the contestant gets to choose who they want". Sam looked at us and said "I'm going to have to go with Colby".

Jake looked at the camera and said "Aww aren't they a cute couple". I looked at the camera and said "Well if you enjoyed this episode of the dating game come back next week where we get a new single". At the exact same time Jake and I said "See you next week singles"