What we could've been | TWD Carnid

WHATEVER IT TAKES

CARL

I look at the edge of the forest where lonely walkers wander without purpose. This is the limit. I look back, knowing all too well I shouldn't be here. But there is no room left for doubt. On my way up to here, I gutted a walker and wrapped myself in blood and internals. Lydia taught me how to behave as one of them, as well as how they organize themselves. So when I cross the border and find a small herd, I act as a walker as best as I was taught. And it works, as in a matter of minutes I am carried away with the herd.

The walker on my right has its gut open, I can see its internals falling on the ground, being dragged and stepped on by other walkers. There are so many different faces, so many corpses. Shot wound, scarifications, marks of strangulation, amputated limbs scattering the floor. I once knew someone who thought the walkers were still alive, conscient. She felt pity for them and that got herself killed. Their bodies show signs of suffering, torture even for some and it's a shame for the people they used to be but not for the walkers. Walkers took so many of my friends. But today, they are not my enemy.

Being among the dead, their growls centimeters away from my ears, their smell covering the air, can only bring back memories of this time in Alexandria. The day I lost my eye. I was careless, I don't intend to make the same mistake twice. Lydia taught me patience was the key. It has never been my strength, that's for sure, but I've gotten to learn it. So I wait. Closely and carefully, I am making my way between the walkers with one goal. One target.

It doesn't take me long to find what I am looking for. Or more precisely, who. I spot about five whisperers among the walkers. I don't act until I am sure there aren't any more of them. Walking in a circle, I go back and forth between the edges of the herd and the core of it. Spotting them is hard at first but their whispers make it easier. All I have to do is follow the sound and do as Lydia told me to. They wear skins but skins can't cover everything and their clothes are usually intact.

However, moving isn't an easy thing as I can't go too fast not to warn the walkers, nor get too close to the whisperers or they'll notice I am well alive. For the first time of my life, I am actually grateful Ron shot me. A hole in the head is quite the cover-up. Good thing I've left my eye-patch, although I am not comfortable being seen. It might have been years but I still hate my face that way, it's just... awful. It feels like I am a freak. I guess I am. But right now, it gives me an advantage.

As they start to walk away, I decide this is the moment to set my plan in motion. I've made up my mind and marked my target, the one closer to the edge. I spend the next minutes following my target from a safe distance, getting closer and closer to the actual man without raising doubts. Luckily they are quite remote from each other, so when I get close enough, there is no one to protect him. Not from me. I sneak between the last remaining walkers separating me from my target and pull out my pocket knife from beneath my bloody shirt. With one last look, I stab at the back of the neck the whisperer without anyone noticing it. He doesn't even have the time to realize what's happening that life leaves his body. I hold his corpse, not for it to fall nor to attract walkers.

Careful enough, I drag him to a tree to make sure I am not exposed when I take his clothes to dress myself with it. Once done, I pull out his skin and put it on my face instead. I thought about making myself one but I was told even though they don't know each other's names they know their skins. The feeling of the mask against my face raises a wave of nausea but I resist it. I am now used to it. I made myself used to it so I wouldn't raise suspicions. Still, wearing a dead face on my own isn't my favorite thing. But I can't have second thoughts now, I can't. 'I have to stick with the plan' I repeat myself as I head back to the herd, fading into the background. For the walkers I am a whisperer but for the whisperers ? I am their shadow and I am coming for them.