What we could've been | TWD Carnid

EVOLUTION

 CARL

- "Well, well, well... isn't that Carl"

I look at Negan, seated on his bed, his arms crossed behind his head. When I close the door and get in, he raises up and comes forward with a big smile on his face.

- "It's been a long time, kid... So what Gabriel has finally given up ?"

- "Don't flatter yourself, he's just busy and as Rosita and Eugene aren't here so I am all you got.  Now stand up, back on the prison bars." I say, hurry to leave the fuck out of here. 

- "Bossy. I like it." - He smirks

I raise an eyebrow, like in a way to dare him to go there and it seems to work as he eventually follows my order and comes to the bars for me to tie him up here.

- "So, how is life going ? Still upset about your girl leaving you ?"

I tighten the handcuffs, upset about him talking to me at all, but also because of these words. I don't like that he's aware of such things. Not him. Not anyone really. I don't talk about Enid, at all. She made her choice and it wasn't me. Why the fuck should I care ? 

- "Fuck you. I am not your babysitter nor your friend, if you want to entertain yourself, play with your ball." I retort, annoyed 

- "I would, but my hands are kinda tied up at the moment, plus this is way more interesting."

- "I won't play this game with you". I say while glaring at him

Once I know for sure he can't move, I go into his cell to scrutinize if everything is in order and take out his chamber pot. When I am done, I put his plate on his bed, just regular stew like all of us.

- "What a luxury for me to have you feed me and clean my shit."

- "Shut up asshole. Move."

- "Oh come on Carl, I haven't seen you in years. Can't you see how happy I am to see the one who saved me ?"

I turn my head towards him to meet his eyes, annoyed. I hate when people remember me that. As I don't answer that, he adds, truly curious. 

- "Don't tell me you regret that ?"

At the time, I thought giving him mercy was the way to break the cycle of violence, to assure peace between the communities and for Judith. I wanted her to grow up in a world where we don't have to kill everyone to be safe. She deserved to have a peaceful life, not like mine. The citizens of the sanctuary deserved better. But knowing what it led to, I cannot say I was right. When I think about it now, I only feel a harrowing guilt to which I can't escape. I am guilty of having led my father to death. All for a man that doesn't even worth it. I glance at Negan.

- "I mean look at me, isn't this the perfect life ?" He says, showing with his chin the room he has been locked up for six years

Again, I don't answer, I just push him aside as I get out of his cell and release him from the bars. I don't want to stay here more than I have to so I am about to leave the room when he says something that stops me right away.

- "I get where Judith gets her stubbornness"

I turn around in a second, stepping forward to look at him through the bars.

- "Don't you dare talk to me about my sister !" - I yell

- "And he speaks again !" - He laughs. "Hey, it's not like I talk to much people nowadays. Well, except for the creepy priest that is still looking for good in me. Besides, she's the one coming to ask my help, mostly about math or the weather"