What we could've been | TWD Carnid

UNTOLD STORIES

CARL

I look down upon the baby's face in my arms. She's so small, probably only a few days older, yet she's so hungry. I found a juice in Enid's backpack that I am now giving the newborn. Her little hands are trying to grab my finger which makes me smile as she reminds me of Judith. I miss my siblings so much, to think I've left them behind... But it is all worth it now that I have her. I turn to look at Enid by my side who's sleeping as well. To be fair, she was so weak back in the cave that she was on the verge of passing out. I catch myself staring at her face. I can't believe I actually found her. She's here. With me. Her face is lit by some sunray as dawn is rising up. She seems so frail like that, but the three letters written on her hand with dirt or the trail of bodies she left behind tell me otherwise. She's a survivor. It doesn't stop me from, under the morning sky, promising myself to keep her safe, no matter the cost. That's when Enid starts to shiver. She breathes heavily, mumbling some words indistinguishably until it gets stronger, her whole body taken by convulsions.

"No, no! Please no-"

I immediately put the baby down to reach for Enid, my fingers gently skimming her skin as I call for her. I try to wake her up but it's in vain, in fact it's getting worse as she starts to scream. I am worried it will draw walkers out, or worse, whisperers, but mostly I want her to get out of this damn nightmare. Seeing her like that, it scares the shit out of me.

"Enid, wake up!"

When she finally opens her eyes, I can see the horror in her eyes, just pure dread. I want to help her, comfort her in any way, but as I get closer, she steps away from my reach and draws out her knife to point it directly at me. I stop right away, raising my hands in peace, carefully kneeling down to get to her level.

"Enid, it's me, Carl. I found you yesterday, remember ?" Her eyebrows furrow and she starts wiping her eyes as if she can't decide whether it's real or not, so I carry on. "It was just a nightmare, you're okay, you are with me now" I can see the exact moment she recognizes me and drops her knife which bounces on the ground in a muffled noise.

"Sorry. I didn't... I didn't mean to-'' Fear is slowly replaced by pure panic. Each of her limbs start to shake again, sweat dripping down her neck. Her face is slowly turning red as she reaches frantically for air. That's when she uncovers her shoulder and I spot some small reddish traces on her skin. Bite marks. I realize what she's up to and yell for her. She freezes almost immediately, her mouth open inches away from her shoulder.

"Hey" I call again for her head to turn to my side, away from her arm "It's okay. Follow my voice. Take deep breaths. In and out. Look just like that" I show her, signing her to move her chest up and down as I get closer. I move slowly, careful enough not to scare her, until I reach for her hand. She shivers at the contact at first but, after a few seconds, it seems it's helping her more than anything so I crouch beside her. Her hand closes on mine as she's holding on to me desperately. "You are okay, you are safe"

"Don't let me go" She breathes with difficulty and my heart breaks all over again

"Never again." I take her chin up to meet eyes so she can see I mean it. I swear to god, I will never abandon her. "Now breathe"

Her chest rises up and down slowly following the sound of my voice. Her body moved in the rhythm of my words. Tears are still rolling down her cheeks and her whole body is tense but after a few minutes she succeeds in controlling her breath enough to calm down. That's when she takes her hand away as if she's embarrassed. She mouths a 'sorry' to which I only nod 'it's okay' before I awkwardly step back to give her some space. And now it's weird. Her eyes scan the area to change her mind until she sees Joan on the ground, wiggling happily in her basket with the bottle of juice. She goes back to me with this half inquiring half worried look.