Chapter 57

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            In the comfort and privacy of my own room, I didn't even bother to switch on the lights

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            In the comfort and privacy of my own room, I didn't even bother to switch on the lights. After that brief but exhausting encounter I had with Maven at Amanpulo, I was dead-beat.

I allowed the darkness of my room to engulf me whole. I allowed myself what used to feel natural as a response to the situations in my life – cry.

The image of Maven kissing another woman was still a fresh wound in my mind. I kept replaying it over and over again. It was like a shattered glass and its shard had pierced into my skin. It had me bleeding inside.

This is for the best, I always tell myself

But the thought was unbearable like the nails screeching down a chalkboard. I did not understand where the  feeling of betrayal came from; for I know, deep inside, I have no right to feel any sort of hurt.

The sadness rolled down and shook my entire being, and down came the woman I have carefully built myself for months time, down she went crumbling into pieces.

I have let him go. I know I have decided that long before but the hardest part wasn't letting him go after all. It's the relentless urge to stop myself in reaching out for him, to take back all the words I have said and cave in for him.

I glanced down at my phone when it lit up, indicating that there was another notification on instagram. I held my breath, tensing in the anticipation of knowing who it was.

I reached over my phone and instantly deleted it the moment Maven's name appeared. There is no point at all.

What was there to talk about anyway?

With this thought in mind and my shaky fingers, I went to his profile and blocked him for good-- all across the social media. I vowed that I will, at least, hold on to that last shred of promise I had with my mother.

This is for the best, I told myself as I drifted into a dreamless night

.

.

.

.

Life went one after that

The world didn't stop spinning, people didn't stop smiling, birds didn't stop chirping; life went on. That was one of the most important things I learned.

And the next time I saw Maven,  he was wearing a three-piece suit, hair in a sleek-back and was standing in the opposite end by the entrance of regional trial court while fixing his cuff.

His eyes caught mine briefly as we entered. I wondered if he knew what I was thinking right then. There were millions of things I would like to say to him at that moment but I bit my tongue. This isn't the time and place.

We both walked to the entrance door. Him from one end of the building, with Rory and Camilla beside him; while I walked beside my mother. We came together like two midpoints intersecting but neither of us smiled.

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