Chapter 23

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"Come in"

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"Come in"

Maven pulled up a smile but looking anything but happy. His mouth twisting ruefully, instead.

I looked at him for a very long time as I watched how he folded his muscular arms across his chest, his one dark brow lifting up as if waiting for me, a bored look appearing across his face.

He was leaning against his door frame, his posture nonchalant, looking casual even and there was a tiny piercing which caught my attention. It was hard not to when it was gleaming in his left ear that I haven't noticed before.

My heart began pumping madly against my chest and I was afraid, he might hear it, but there was nothing in his eyes as light reflected in it. I felt that we were both precariously dangling in a limbo where no one among us would like to go beyond that line.

This situation alone, that I was currently in, was one that I never thought I would involve in.

"No" I said as I shook my head, my nose scrunched up, "It's not necessary"
"I insist", He said, widely opening his door, the muscle of his arm flexing and I can't help but feast on it

His arm brushing at my side as I made my way inside and I can't deny how I noticed the feeling of electricity as it jolt down my spine. I bit my lip as I searched his gaze for anything, if he felt it, but I couldn't even decipher what's going on at the back of his head.

Looking unsure, I handed him his book, his eyes still not giving anything away as I looked at him and I could only watched his back as he disappeared to his study. I sighed, suddenly feeling so small, minuscule even, inside. I flopped myself down his sofa, while I looked around his pad.

It looked the same but at the same time reeling its difference. And I can't help but have this thought crossing my mind----which part of his pad had he made love with Stacey? Which part of the pad was the witness how they moaned each other's name? Was it the carpeted floor of the living room? The kitchen counter? The couch? His bed? Does he liked it better with Stacey?

It drove me crazy. It made me clenched my fists so tight that my knuckles turned all white, my nails digging into my palm and, for a second, I thought it would draw blood. I fed into that same rage of anger as it fueled within my heart.

I know I have no right to feel betrayed but I felt the real gnawing pain in the pit of my stomach, the idea that there was something that was mine to keep but was unable to hold a tight enough to grip on. But that was the thing, he wasn't mine to keep in the first place

Everything felt wrong and I just wanted to peel off and throw my self down the building. It took everything in me to hold my emotion at bay, taming them. I was just so tired, so sick of these feelings.

"Why are you crying?" He said, frowning down at me. I didn't even notice that I was crying until he said it, which made me touched my cheek. It was damp and I looked down, feeling embarrassed for being caught weeping for a lost love and what-could-have-beens

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