Allies and Enemies (AoT Reader Insert)

Chapter 31: It Wasn't Just a Dream

What does it mean to be brave?

The definition of bravery is someone who's ready to face and endure danger or pain; it's defined as a show of courage. That is the most common perception of bravery, but is that all it means to be brave? Of course this definition is sufficient, but one can't help but wonder if they really are brave. One can't help but ask if they display bravery.

Someone who sleeps with the light on might consider someone who sleeps with it off, brave. People who are afraid of spiders take someone who can kill a spider as brave, but people who keep spiders as pets are deemed crazy. Where is the line between the two?

What is the difference between being perceived as brave and being perceived as a fool?

This question was a familiar one for Jean. Back in his youth, he often wondered what bravery was. He believed he knew what it meant to be a coward, but that didn't necessarily mean he knew what it meant to be brave.

There was once a time where Jean equated honesty with bravery. To speak your mind bluntly without being scared of another person's judgement had certainly seemed brave to the young soldier - especially since he was someone who wasn't afraid to say what he wanted.

In his youth, Jean considered himself brave because he wasn't afraid to admit when something seemed ridiculous or outlandish. Everyone in the 104th Cadet Corps knew of Jean. He was the one who 'courageously' declared that he would be joining the Military Police as soon as he graduated. Unlike the people who were set on joining the Survey Corps, Jean was working hard to earn a life of luxury. He believed that being scared of death didn't make him a coward, it made me smart. Maybe the praise from his peers went to his head, but for a while Jean really considered himself as brave.

An honest person can certainly be brave, but being honest didn't always imply bravery.

After seeing Titans with his very own eyes, Jean once again began to question what it really meant to be brave. Honest words weren't going to drive away the Titans. He wondered if being brave was putting your life on the line for others, but risking your life so someone else could live had seemed stupid. Why would anyone risk their own well being for someone else? It hadn't made any sense to the young and naive Jean.

Maybe in the eyes of others, risking their life was a way to prove something - to prove that they were above others enough to put their lives on the line. Yet in Jean's opinion, it only felt like they were brave enough to do something as stupid as die for nothing.

Putting your life on the line is certainly brave, but it's really only perceived as brave when it's your life for the many.

In both of these cases, and for a majority of his life, Jean considered bravery to be someone who goes out of their comfort zone. It wasn't always something as extreme as sprinting into battle to pull a comrade out of the line of fire, but it was something new. Doing something that you wouldn't have done before or that he himself could not do was what he thought bravery was.

When Jean was someone who hid behind the goals of joining the Military Police, he considered himself as brave. When he was stranded in the middle of Titan infested streets and only Mikasa stepped up to fight them, he considered her brave.

So what about now? What does it mean to be brave?

Jean's eyes traced the outline of the fire. It cracked as it crumbled under his gaze. He sighed before taking another log and quickly dropping it across the surface of his fire. It was the last of what he'd gathered before. He knew he'd have to go and gather some more eventually, but right now, all he wanted to do was rest. He didn't want to have to think about... anything really.