writing ideas (skz ideas)

Meet me online (chapter 1)

Unlike every other hospice, does my brother not spend his last days with his family and fulfills his last wishes, no. He spends his last days in Oddinary, a virtual reality.

It never occurred to me or my parents that we wouldn't be able to communicate with my brother before he dies. As if the nurses never warned my parents that would high possibly occur.

The doctors told us two weeks; two weeks were his expectations of living. I wasn't happy about him dying this early but letting him suffer another few years wasn't on my list.

The device on his head was big, made explicitly for hospitals and hospices. It covers his whole head and looks much like a box.

I don't know what his face looks like, I don't know if he enjoys his time or is living through hell in his virtual reality. It was over a month ago the last time I saw his face properly, not really remembering his details now anymore.

I know he had a defined cheekbone, and fox-like eyes – his eye color having such a dark brown that it almost appeared black – and that was it. I couldn't remember more of his face, of his current look.

We owned enough pictures of us as kids, the time he was healthy and could digest everything he wanted, anything. His body changed much over two years in the hospital with the same horrible diet.

He was always pale; he always had a lighter skin tone than me. During his stay in the hospital, it turned into a pale everyone identified as "sick" pale.

Only now I noticed after he got into the Enter Gear – or how they call it – did his paleness make him almost transparent. I could clearly follow his veins along his arms, how they separate ways, connect again, and disappear in his sleeve to get to an important body part.

It changed much in perspective of how I saw my brother, he disappeared in front of my eyes every day as I visited him. I only see a ghost of my brother lying there.

Sitting in that hospice room, hearing nothing but the machines around us became a routine. In my first few days, I became restless with the sounds, having illusions of hearing them in my bedroom.

In the days after I took headphones with me and played music – any kind didn't matter – and I somehow found comfort in that different kind of silence. I could have continued if it didn't almost cost the life of my brother as I couldn't hear the warning alarms.

Since then, I found myself trying to be as present in the situation with my brother as my head allowed me to do so. After a while, the beeping became a silent sound in the background of my thoughts.

A knock came on the door, and my eyes diverted to the direction with the expectation of a nurse entering. To my surprise, for once it was actually the doctor assigned to my brother.

I stood up as I couldn't really help myself to sit beside the doctor that tried to help my brother to survive his disease for the last two years. His eyes were directed at me before moving them toward my brother.

"Miss Yang, didn't expect to see you this early here" he commented, lifting the sleeve on his right arm to take a look at his watch. "7:30 am is pretty early" he announced, raising a brow in my direction, indicating it was indeed not visitor time the next two hours.

"I wanted to see him before school" I stammered as his cold gaze stayed on me. I was never able to understand the last two years how this doctor could have such hatred toward me.

It was from the first second he saw me as my brother was brought into the hospital. With a simple eye squint, leaning over, and scoff he already decided to despise me.

"This kid shouldn't be here" were the first words I ever heard him say, dismaying me into getting brought to the waiting room. Over the last two years, nothing changed, doesn't matter how much respect I showed toward him.

"I can understand your situation right now, but I can't let that slide the next time" the doctor said, scrolling through the papers in his hands, not trying to have eye contact. I nodded at his words taking my bag from the floor and pulling it over my shoulder "It won't happen again".

It was clear he didn't want to continue the conversation, so I lowered my head and walked past him, out into the hallway. One or two nurses were passing by as I made my way to the door.

Outside I was able to find the blue Fiat Panda, walked over to it, and entered the car. "Morning!" my friend ­– Felix – said enthusiastically with a broad smile, ignoring the fact he was standing in front of a hospice.

"Morning to you too" I murmured, laying down my phone into the cup holder between our seats and leaning the seat a bit back. Felix started the engine as he eyed me from the side "You sound grumpier than usual" he noticed.

"Doctor Connoll caught me" I answered, sliding my hands over my face tired and yawning out of exhaustion. Felix clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction as he turned into the main road.

I nodded in agreement to the short statement, feeling like not needing to add anything to the sentence. We drove the five-minute way to school, parked, and walked off into the school.