You're All I Need: Squeal of "Transfer to Help Himself"

Chapter 8- What Have I Done?

They had the next few days off to recoup after the wildfires, so TK and Buck mainly spent it at the house with Carlos. Owen had taken Buttercup out for a walk, leaving the three men to their vices. Buck had been a little quiet and more reserved around TK, which caught the attention of the other two men. He would make small talk, but never went too far with it. He hadn't even spurted off little random fun facts like he usually did.

TK felt bad. He knew Buck was probably acting like this because TK had snapped at him. TK had anger issues and he tried to keep them in check, but with everything that had happened, TK snapped. And Buck had to be at the receiving end. TK knew Buck hated any sort of raised voices and harsh tones, even if they weren't directed towards him. TK was mad at himself for being harsh to Buck.

Carlos noticed how Buck would retreat into himself more around TK. He noticed how Buck would start to say something, then stop himself. Carlos wondered why Buck was acting like this and decided to get to the bottom of it.

"Ty, do you know why Buck is acting the way he is right now?"

"Yeah...It's because of something I did, I think. When the helicopter went down with Dad, I kind of freaked out and snapped at Buck when he offered me pizza. I didn't mean to."

Carlos sighed and put his arm around TK. "Ty, did you apologize to him?" TK nodded. "Talk to him, Ty. Help him know that you didn't mean to snap at him." TK nodded again and went to find Buck.

Buck was in his room reading a book, the door cracked for him to hear footsteps. He did that when he was little when his parents came home, so he could be ready for whatever would come. "Buck, can I come in?" Said man flinched a little before looking towards the door. "Sure, T."

TK walked over and sat on the other side, not too close to Buck but also not too far. "Look, I'm sorry for snapping at you in San Angelo. I didn't mean to. I was just so freaked out about Dad that I couldn't keep my anger in check. I'm so sorry." Buck put his book down and lowered his head. "It's my fault, T. I saw you were freaking out and wanted to get your mind off of it. I guess I could have gone about it a different way..."

TK sighed. "Buck, no. None of it was your fault. I know now that you were trying to help, but I was too freaked out to notice it then. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I can tell it affected you. Please, forgive me."

Buck didn't say anything. He had already forgiven TK. Buck should be the one asking for forgiveness, why couldn't TK see that. His mom was right. He only caused problems and this was one of them.

"I was thinking of answering Mom's letter..." TK shot up. "What? Buck, why?"

Buck shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe, because she needs to know she's right? Maybe, because I always screw things up like I'm doing now and Dad and Mom can make me stop..."

TK stood up and stared at Buck. "T?"

"I can't believe you would think about contacting those assholes, Buck! They hurt you and abused you, yet you are gonna crawl back to them? To what? To 'fix' whatever problems you think you are creating? Hell no."

Buck was panicking in his mind, but tried to keep calm. "You can't stop me T. Maybe, if I write the letter, she'll stop. You never know. It's worth it to try."

TK stormed out of Buck's room and out of the house. Carlos tried to stop him, but failed. He heard Buck's door slowly click shut, and made his way to Buck. If TK was mad, Buck was probably upset. Carlos knocked on the door. "Go away, TK." Now Carlos knew something was wrong. Buck never called TK by his name, only T...unless something was wrong. "It's Carlos. Do you mind if I come in?" Buck agreed and Carlos opened the door.

Buck was now sitting on the floor against the wall. He was trying to cover the fact that he was crying. "Buck, what happened?" Buck didn't say anything. He didn't want Carlos to be mad at TK. He couldn't ruin their relationship like he had with him and TK. "It's nothing." Carlos sighed. "Buck, I know something is wrong. TK stormed out of the house and you're sitting here trying to cover up the fact that you're crying. So, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Carlos. Please leave my room. I just want to be alone." Buck turned his back away from Carlos. "Buck..." Buck shook his head and put earbuds in, blocking out whatever Carlos was going to say.

Carlos went out of Buck's room and went to find TK. He was sitting outside on the porch, trying to calm down. "Ty, want to tell me what's going on?" Carlos sat down beside him. "Why don't you ask Mr. Go Cry to Mommy. I bet he'll tell you everything." TK forced out.

"I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to talk. Now, either one of you talk to me, or I get Owen or Judd down here, or, God forbid, Ms. Grace Ryder herself."

"Fine. Buck thinks it's a good idea to respond to his asshole parent's letter, which will give away where he lives and...He doesn't understand that they aren't good for him. He wants to go crawling back to his abusive ass parents? Let him. God knows he'll find out the hard way what will happen. I tried to get him to change his mind, but he didn't listen."

Carlos looked shocked. "Tyler Kennedy Strand, you did not just say that!" TK shrugged and turned to face the house, where he was met with a shocked Buck, who had followed Carlos to apologize and talk. "Buck..."

Buck shook his head, "I'm so sorry that I wanted to get her off my case about contacting her. If you would have listened to me, you would have heard that she wanted to get a P.I. to find where I lived. No one ever listens to me. Don't worry, Tyler. You won't have to worry about her coming here." Buck turned and stormed back to his room. TK tried to follow him, but Carlos grabbed him and shook his head. "No. Leave him be, Ty. He needs to cool off."

Buck, on the other hand, had grabbed a suitcase that held his clothes and headed to his Jeep. Buck had already packed his stuff up over the past two days and had rented an apartment close to the station. He knew it was better this way as to protect TK, Owen, and Gwyn from his parents. Buck had already sent the letter and wasn't going to actually go to the apartment until the time was right. Looks like it's right now, though. He pushed past Carlos and TK and put the suitcase in his Jeep. "Buck? Where are you going?" Carlos asked.

"I had rented an apartment before we went to San Angelo. I had done that to send the letter, which I sent yesterday. I wasn't actually going to move there until the time was right, but I guess nothing always goes the way you want it to, huh? Sorry if I ever burdened you or your Dad, TK. You won't have to worry about me again. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

TK interrupted him, "Buck, you don't have to go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what was said."

"TK, you still said it. That means you were already thinking of it. I do have to go. I'm sorry, but I can't stay with the person who said for me to go back to them."

"Does this mean..."

"We aren't breaking up...I just need a break. I'll contact you later. Carlos, I'm sorry you were in the middle of this. You don't have to choose sides. You've been with TK longer, so don't feel bad."

Carlos was just staring, trying to take in what Buck was saying. Everything had been going good, and then it broke.

Buck drove off and turned his phone off. He knew it was irrational, but he needed to get away. He needed to leave before he ruined their relationship any further. So he drove to the apartments. And tried to sleep, but was engulfed in nightmares all night.