You're All I Need: Squeal of "Transfer to Help Himself"

Chapter 14- Exposure Therapy Part 2

 They stayed out a little later that day and just talked. Talked about what happened while Buck was in the hospital. The people who helped save Buck kept visiting the station and leaving gifts, none of which Buck received. Eddie told Buck that Bobby had thrown them away because he didn't want any reminders of that day there. The rest of the team tried to stop him, but he didn't listen to them. Buck promptly began to rant about how they were all being treated unfairly when Bobby was the captain. He only stopped when they arrived home and went inside. Lily greeted them at the door and told them Chris had just finished his homework and was waiting for the two of them.

Chris was in the living room sitting on the couch and was happy they were back. He began talking about his day and how Ms. Flores had helped him with his math. He then talked about one kid who had brought his skateboard to school. Chris had wanted to try it, but Ms. Flores said it wasn't safe for him. Chris told them that he had been upset until a group of kids had offered to help Chris. He hadn't fallen off once! Buck was intrigued with his story and Eddie was hiding his worry but was happy for his son. Lily came in and hugged Eddie around the waist and started telling them about her day. Buck found out that she worked with Taylor, which was why she left early some mornings. Her and Buck started talking about their mutual friend and if she had the day off soon so Buck and Taylor could catch up. Lily and Buck had taken over the living room with their conversation, so Eddie helped give Chris a bath and tuck him into bed. A few minutes after Chris had fallen asleep, Eddie went to fetch his girlfriend and to drag Buck to bed.

"Alright, Chatty Kathys, it's time for bed. Both of you have a big day tomorrow." Eddie called out, walking close to them. Lily and Buck laughed and got up from the couch. "Night guys. See y'all in the morning." Buck said, before pausing and turning, as if taking in what he just said. "I think living in Texas has finally got to me" and he left with that. Eddie just turned to Lily, who looked confused, and shrugged before they walked into their bedroom. Buck went to the guest bathroom and sat down on the floor with his back against the door. Today was mentally exhausting and he was letting everything sink in. He didn't know how long he had sat there, but he was aching and he desperately needed a shower, so he got the water to a good temperature and cleaned. Then he went back to the guest room and laid on the bed. Considering it was probably 1 in Austin right now, Buck just sent a simple text to TK and Carlos, letting them know that he was ok and that he missed them. He mentally prepared himself for the station. While he would be surrounded by his friends, Buck didn't want to go back to the place where most of his abuse from Bobby happened. He tried to sleep, but nightmares took over. Mostly of the bombing. God, he still felt pain in his leg after all this time. It's like a constant reminder of when his life started to go down the drain. He woke up after that and was shaking. It was 3 here, meaning it was 5 in Austin and TK was probably awake. Buck pressed the video call button and after one ring, TK picked up.

"Morning B! Isn't like 3 over there? Why are you up? Are you ok?" TK answered the call with. Buck stared at his partner, who was still in his pajamas, if the lack of a shirt and sleep pants meant anything. "I don't know, T. I had a nightmare. It was really bad. I just needed to talk to you." Buck replied. TK sat up and looked at Buck with worry clear on his face. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Buck shook his head and said, "No, but I just need to talk. About something, anything." TK thought for a minute before suggesting that they talk about his time with the Diaz clan and Lily. Buck instantly cheered up a little when talking about Chris. He told TK about how Lily worked with Taylor and that he was planning to catch up with Taylor while he was there. They talked for a few hours, as it was TK's day off. At the end, Buck was smiling and laughing at TK's jokes and had forgotten what his nightmare was even about. "Thanks for taking the time to talk T, I really needed it." Buck said. TK smiled, "Of course B. I needed it too. I miss you and love you!" Buck replied with an 'I love you too, T' before Chris had knocked and opened his door. "Bucky! It's time to wake up." He said while climbing into bed with Buck.

"Hey little man!" TK called out. Chris looked over Buck's shoulder. "Hi TK! It's time for Bucky to wake up so we can eat and go to school." TK laughed and told Buck to go eat and for Chris to have a good day at school. Chris all but dragged Buck into the dining room, where the other two people were sitting. "Morning sleepy head. Yesterday, you were up early and today, Chris had to retrieve you," Eddie spoke. "Dad, he was talking to TK. They were laughing and smiling." Chris said proudly. Buck rubbed his neck and grabbed a cup of coffee. They sat and ate for a few before everyone got ready for the day. Lily, not having to be at work until later that day, had offered to take Chris to school so Eddie and Buck could get to the station early before anyone else arrived.

"Buck, did you get any sleep last night?" Eddie asked, seeing how tired Buck was. "A little. But I had a nightmare and that's when I called TK. I guess I forgot to look at the time, though. I think we spent like, 3 hours talking before Chris came in." Buck sighed but laughed at the last statement. Eddie patted his best friend on the shoulder then got up. "Well, I think we should head on down. Cap is waiting for us." Buck nodded and headed outside to Eddie's truck. They drove silently to the station, an aching 30 minute drive. Buck still couldn't see why Eddie had lived far away from the station or not found a station close to him. He could barely make the 10 minutes it took him when he lived in L.A. let alone 30. Buck was bouncing his knee up and down and sighed with relief when they finally got there. This time, Eddie was the first to get out. Buck was trying not to panic. It had been a long time since he had been back at the station.

Captain Murphey was standing by the bay doors when they walked up. "Buck, it's good to see you again. How's Austin been since we left?" Buck shook his hand and replied, "Mateo can't stop talking about the 'Tall Captain with the Handlebar Mustache' and Ravi". Captain Murphey laughed and rubbed his mustache. "It is an awesome looking mustache if I do say so myself," He replied. Buck nodded and followed them inside before looking around. The station looked a little more open, as if they got the Chief to allow them to open the station a little. Captain Murphey left them to their vices and went to work on paperwork. "Everytime I come here, the tensity inside the station would push me down, but it's better now." Buck said, looking around. "I'm glad. How about we just walk around? The rest of the team doesn't come in until later, so we have the building to ourselves until B shift comes back from the call". Buck walked around with Eddie and they talked for a little before they came up to the locker rooms. Buck instantly froze and tensed.

The locker rooms were where Bobby would corner him. Spit awful words at him and push him down. Buck just let it happen. He was so used to being treated like he was nothing, that he let anyone walk over him. Buck thought to his last time in the locker rooms, where he was cornered between the wall and Bobby. It hadn't been very pleasant. He could still remember what Bobby had said. It was the same night that he had called Owen. He started to think about all the good that had come out of leaving. How his new team had supported him and his problems. How he got to meet his now partners. All of the bad memories started to fade away.

Eddie could see the moment that Buck had relaxed and knew he was thinking about something else. He took a quick picture of Buck and sent an update to TK. TK had texted Eddie earlier while they were driving about how he was worried for Buck, especially after the morning call. Eddie himself was also thinking about the time he had walked in on one of their 'meetings'. He wanted so badly to stop Bobby, but he was still trying to get over his anger. He knew he would have punched Bobby right then and there, but that would have helped no one. He heard the trucks coming back, so he made his way over to Buck and gently touched his shoulder. "Hey, they're back. Let's go on out, ok?" He told Buck. Buck nodded and with one last glance, he walked out of the locker room for the final time.