"Do I look alright?" Bailey asked the day after Liam's hand squeezing. "I want to look okay." She was getting ready to visit Louis and the rest of their lot, and she was asking her roommate, Rosie, if she looked nice.
They were all super attractive.
A 100/10.
She couldn't let herself look like her regular trash self.
"These boys are special, aren't they?" Rosie glanced up at her roommate, "I haven't seen you this happy, since, well, you know . . ." Rosie didn't bring up what used to make Bailey so happy, which Bailey was grateful for.
"Yeah," Bailey had been talking to them since she was discharged. They were like a family, a tight-knit group of friends that always had each other's back. "They're cool. And I have to keep my promise."
"I can't believe you get to hang out with the Louis Tomlinson," Rosie gushed, "you know, rumour has it he's up for a Teen Choice Award? Favourite Internet Person."
"Is it confirmed?"
"I said, it's a rumour. It's prolly true anyways, he has over a million followers, and girls masturbate to him. He's like, a shoo-in." Rosie rolled her eyes.
"Why wouldn't girls masturbate to him? Or any of them for that matter."
"I dunno, we don't."
"True. But they're not just hot, they have substance too. Like, I know Zayn draws, and he's like, really good at it. I know Harry writes gay fan fiction, but that's cool because in that book he crushes all stereotypes about gay people. Louis is hilarious, but it's clear in the way he handles things he's mature, Niall is just this little ball of sunshine that has this super infectious laugh, and once he starts laughing so will you."
"Aren't there five?"
"I don't know so much about the fifth one, I don't even know his name."
After a mere thirty minute drive, Bailey found herself knocking on Harry's door. "Bailey!" Zayn exclaimed as he opened the door."You look stunning! Come in!" Zayn seemed really bubbly as he pulled her in the house.
"Bailey!" Niall cheered as she walked deeper and deeper into the flat. "Harry and Louis are off getting groceries, so it seems like you're going to chill with us for a bit. Want a drink?" The three of them sat at the kitchen counter.
"No thanks. How are you guys?"
"Great, you know about the whole hand squeezing thing from yesterday, right?" Bailey nodded profusely, "It has kept me up."
"Good, good."
Bailey turned to Zayn, "How's your insomnia? Have you taken those pills yet?" She hadn't asked him about those through text, and so, she thought he should ask now.
"No," Zayn hung his head in shame, "I haven't."
"When will you take them?" Niall piped up, because it was a topic that involved him as well, "Zayn, this is important."
"Soon, I promise." He nodded, and then turned back to Bailey, "You look better, how's the monster?" That was their code name for her depression.
"Better. I've been happier and, you know, more up for things."
"Do you still have that thought you talked about?" Niall questioned, and Bailey didn't have an immediate answer for that.
Did she?
Did she wish that those pills killed her?
"I don't know. I really, honestly don't know. Do I wish those pills could kill me because I would be able to see my sister again? Yeah, a part of me truly does. But then again, there's lot I haven't done yet, like, I haven't gone to America. I haven't done all the things my sister did before she died, and for her sake I want to do it." All three of them fell silent. Bailey had only told Rosie, and a few other people about the cause of her 'monster '.
"Oh."
"My sister's name was June," Bailey was reminiscing now, "and she was the prettiest girl you've ever seen. She was sixteen when she died. Our family was, and is, filthy rich. June was the only person I felt like actually cared about me. She died in a car crash, she was on her phone." Bailey sighed, "once the only person that cared was gone, I felt like I shouldn't care either and-"
"Honey, I'm home!" Louis cried as he swung open the door.
Trust Louis.
"Bailey!" Harry dropped the groceries onto Louis's foot and ran to Bailey, who then yelled.
_____qotd: have you done the charlie challenge
atod: hell to the fucking no I am not about that damn demon shit nah
but props to you if you do it. you have guts