One Constant Holiday

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

   I dragged myself off the plane at Manchester. We had finally managed to get Sammi's body onto a plane, so as soon as she could come home, I was following. My whole family were stood at the end and as soon as my mum wrapped her arms around me, I sobbed like I hadn't cried before, all my emotions just seemed to explode as soon as I saw my mother, the woman who had always been a constant figure in my life. The sorrow just seemed to drown me, the guilt, the hurt and pain, it's all I could feel, I felt like smiling was a hard feat nowadays. 

   My mum pulled me back and my eye caught Sammi's family stood behind my family, Ben had a beard, one that was similar to mine, and her mum was hugging onto Sammi's dads chest like if she let go, she would fall to the ground in a heap, I guess it's just as hard on them as it is on me. 

   I trudged over and tried my attempt at a smile, only to fail miserably, "I am so sorry," I muttered as I felt like if I spoke any louder I would end up in a heap on the ground and I was trying to hold myself together, at least until I got home, then I could lock the door and not come out again.

   Ben gave me a sort of man hug thing, but it ended up being a full on hug, "we know it's not your fault man, though you could have told us better," he tried to joke, but it just sounded even more painful thank before.

   "Yeah sorry about that," I mumbled. 

      "Are you okay Kyle?" Grace asked concerned and I shook my head, I know she was just saying that to try and be polite, but can she not tell from my appearance that I'm not okay? What a stupid fucking question! I felt my anger boiling up again, but I forced myself to calm down, it wasn't her fault all this happened.

      "Not really, but I erm...I need to go, I've already sorted everything out with the body, there's an..uh..hearse that will take Sammi's body to the funeral parlour of your choice, just go and tell the guy, it's all..er..paid for so you don't need to worry about funeral costs, and er...I'll come round later in the week," I told them before turning around and walking towards my own family, the tension was so high and  being around them just made my guilt rise. I felt like it should have been me that was shot, they don't deserve this, their daughter, their little girl was gone, all because I had to stack some fucking chairs! I felt the urge to punch something, but again, reeled it in, as much as I hurt, the airport was not the place to cause a scene.

   Claudia gave me a sympathetic smile as she brought me in for a hug as we walked. My nephew leant forward in Claudia's arms for me to pick him up, so I took him and started to smile slightly at his little face, but then it reminded me that I would never have children with Sammi and I felt my smile slip away again. 

   I was a man, and before all this, I would have felt embarrassed to have even thought about crying, but now, it was like it was all I could do. It was crazy the way my emotions were all out of whack, it had been two weeks since she was shot and yet it felt like it happened just hours ago, when I slept, the scene before she died just kept playing in my mind and it was driving me insane! I'm only awake now because of the amount of coffee I have consumed over the past two weeks, I must have had about six hours sleep altogether, and that isn't an exaggeration.

*********

   We finally got home and I went to the kitchen and slumped into one of the chairs, Josh slid into the one next to me and my dad sat across. The girls weren't even in the kitchen, "Kyle, I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because that would be plain stupid, but if you don't want to be mollycoddled by your mother, Josh or I will sit with you and watch a footie game or boxing if you want," my dad offered and I gave him a small smile.

   "Thanks," I told him gratefully, "but the way I have been recently, you'd think I'd turned into a girl, all I want to do is cry," I admitted, which was a feat in itself.

      Josh snickered under his breath until my dad kicked him under the table making him curse out loud. "What the hell?" He cried annoyed and I laughed a little.

      "Ignore him, the only pussy he's got is from Fluffy in the living room," my dad spoke, owning Josh and making me laugh again.

      "True," I agreed.

      "I come here to try and cheer up Mr. Grumpy Ass and all I get is insulted! I give up!" He yelled, throwing his arms up in exasperation, which made me crack a small smile again until the guilt hit me, I shouldn't be laughing when Sammi is laying in a coffin dead. 

   I got up from the chair, "thanks guys," I mumbled before walking from the from and going upstairs to what was my room. As I left the room, I swear I heard Josh say, 'what did I do?'. 

   When I laid on the bed, I couldn't help but remember the last time I slept here, which was way over a year, which you can kinda tell from the single bed and dark blue walls with Manchester United posters all over the wall, one that made me feel old was the fact that one of them was of Ronaldo and he left United nearly five year ago. 

   As I glanced at the poster, my mind flitted to the United V Madrid match that was on last night, I don't know why it did, but it did, so I found myself wandering back downstairs again to ask my dad. "Err dad-" I started as everyone's faces looked at me, making me feel even guiltier for asking, "-what was the score last night?"

   He smirked then frowned, "Nani red carded for a pathetic decision," he growled and I knew straight away that the match changed when he was sent off and we lost, the score I don't know, but I knew that and I wish I never found out because it made me feel even more depressed. "Anything else interesting happen?"

   "Mourinho was kissing Ferguson' ass," Josh spoke up and I gave him a deadpanned look.

      "I said, 'anything interesting happen' not what was predictable," I replied with a smile. Talking about football was a great distraction from everything.

Hey! (:

So, he's coping at the moment! I had this story planned out from the beginning, which is easy because I know how everything works out :)

Plus we got to 1000 reads which is great so thank you!

Thanks for reading :D

Jemma .x.