One Constant Holiday

Chapter Sixteen

I have re-written this chapter. I want to try my hand at writing in the present tense and I am going to start editing random chapters in this book. The previous chapter had 1007 words and this one has 4415, so there is quite the difference. 

This was extremely hard for me to write and unfortunately, the scenes are based on experience - the local crematorium knows me on a first name basis, I swear.

Chapter Sixteen

   My hands begin to sweat as I sit in the back of the car. Glancing out of the window, I catch my pale reflection. The only thing I notice is the bloodshot eyes. How can I do this?

My hand is squeezed, taking my attention away from how rough I look and to the source. Claudia. She gives me a pitying smile. "You'll be okay." She whispers.

"You can't say that." I reply hoarsely. "Nothing is ever going to be the same again." I can promise that. I had lost the love of my life. I am on the way to a funeral I never expected to attend. I am wearing a black tuxedo – a similar one to the one I would have worn to our wedding – I have a bright yellow tie because that is, was, her favourite colour and I had not slept more than three hours a night since she died.

"It will." She persists. Mum is driving us, Samantha's family are in the limousine in front – I was not invited to sit with them – and my dad, Danielle and Josh are behind us in another car.

I shake my head, I did not have any energy to reply. I want today to be over with and it is only 11am.

My mum's hand drifts to the radio and starts to fiddle with the buttons. Turning the volume down, she decides on My Girl by the Temptations. I groan and close my eyes, just listening to the song as it plays.

The familiar beat starts and I leave a faint smile on my lips. I used to sing this to her when we messed around. One time, we had to fill in for the entertainment so we just grabbed microphones and began to sing. It was not our best performance but this song was one of the three we did. I dedicated the song to her afterwards and it was probably one of the only moments I had seen her blush.

Her cheeks turned the most beautiful pink and her eyes watered over as she tried to hide her face from the crowd. Even when she mouthed that she was going to kill me, I loved her and laughed.

She did not mind being the centre of attention, it was being corny and cheesy which did her in.

It is one of my favourite songs. So many memories flood my brain as it continues to play.

"Mum," Claudia hisses. "Turn it off!"

Eyes still closed, I grab onto Claudia. "No, don't. I like this song."

From behind my shut eyelids, I know they are giving each other wary looks but I need to ignore them. Since I arrived home three weeks ago, they had all been giving the looks between each other, thinking I was not in eyesight.

Truth is, they do not know what to say. How could they? Both sets of grandparents are still together and going strong. My mum and dad have only ever been married together. How could they possibly relate to what I was going through?

I was twenty-two years old, I had barely had time to live myself before my Flower was took from me. Yes, some people said we were too young to be engaged and Samantha's Uncle had even said that we were stupid and immature but I must disagree.

I first met Samantha when I was nineteen years old. I had just got out of a serious relationship and at first, she was just a bit of fun. She was from Manchester and I was from Leeds – in terms of rivalry, they were far apart. She is, was, only two months younger than me and I was not ready for a new relationship. I had my dream job and I wanted to prove myself and enjoy it.