Sophia, who art thou?

5. JADE

3rd January, 2018

I will never stop worrying about Ace. She's my baby. She's all of our baby. That's why I can't accept that she's tough. That she'll come into her own. She acts like she's okay, all the time. But I know better. I know she isn't. Between the drugs, the alcohol, the men, she's exhausted all her cries for help. What hurts me the most if that no one answered. Not Soph, not Ollie. Not even me.

*

"Ace, wait up."

"I thought you told me to "fuck off". So much for keeping it PG, huh?"

"You and I both know you've said and done a lot worse." I try to maintain eye contact with her, as she shyly looks at her shoes. My old converse.

Ding.

"I should probably get this."

"The lift works 24/7. You can get it in another five minutes."

"But-"

"It's not going to run away."

"I'm meeting a friend."

"Your booty call can wait."

"JC!"

"Ace, we need to talk."

"What, the five hour car ride upstate wasn't enough?"

"Amelia."

"What?"

"First off, don't use that sass on me, young lady, who do you think you got it from?"

"Sorry."

"You better be. And second off, you just found out that the one person you look up to the most tried killing herself and hid it from you for the better part of a decade. And before you try telling me you're okay, I know you're not."

"Of course I'm not okay, JC. No normal human would be. But I'll be fine. I always am."

"Ames, you're not talking your way out of this one."

"What do you want me to do? Cry?"

"I want you to let it sink in."

"It has."

"You going to talk to Soph?"

"Hell no. She has enough on her plate. That Drew guy's a piece of work, isn't he?"

"Don't know what she sees in him."

"I don't think she does either."

I look at her, one eyebrow raised. "Since when did you get that killer intuition?"

I couldn't help but smile as she shrugged her shoulders and flipped her imaginary hair in the most dramatic way possible.

"Can I go now?"

"One more thing."

"Of course."

"She didn't do it because of you."

"I know."

"Ace. You had nothing to do with it."

"Okay. Well. I umm...I'm gonna go now."

"The lift isn't here yet."

"I'll take the stairs. Been meaning to work out."

"No more piercings!" I yell behind her. "Or tattoos!"

"You know that just makes me want to get more, right?"

*

"Did you have the talk with her?"

"Which one? There are so many these days," I groan, flopping o the bed, resting my head on Ollie's waist.

"You want me to talk to her?"

"I know you think I shouldn't baby her, but have you seen her? The...the dyed buzz cut, the arm tats. Oh! And the piercings! Is that her face or-"

"Please don't finish that sentence, J."

"You get my point, Ollie."

"I really don't," she said, running her hands through my short hair. Usually people touching my hair annoys the living shit out of me, but Ollie's the one person who's so gentle with them.

"What?"

"Babe, I emulate everything you think is wrong with Ace. I dye my hair, I have tattoos and I have piercings. You didn't have a problem with them on me."

"She said something."

"Tell me."

"She said she'll be okay. That she always has been."

"Yeah."

"Has she, though?"

"J, you worry too much about the kid."

"Maybe you don't worry enough!"

"Sweetie, I know you didn't mean that so I'm not going to push it, okay? But please, hear me out."

"Hmmph."

"Listening?"

"Yeah," I sulk.

"She's living with us indefinitely, right?"

"Yeah."

"She's never really been given the chance to be a kid. Especially not after you and Soph went off to college. I say we give her that."

I sit up. Ollie's ideas are always good. Practical. "Go on."

"We get her to get a job, pay rent, do chores, give her a curfew. Watch movies on the weekend. Don't force her into exploring colleges again. Don't expect the worst from her."

"Do you know where she is right now?"

"Probably flashing her fake ID and cleavage to some pervy bouncer."

"Oh my god, Ollie! That is not comforting. At all."

"I'm kidding, J. She had a job interview over at where Soph works."

"Espresso Love?"

"Yup."

"Do they even pay that well?"

"Jade. She'll be okay. Plus, Soph will be there. What could go wrong?"

I sigh. "I wish you came up with shitty plans at least once in a while."

"Sorry, babe. I'm always right. It's a character flaw."

I laugh. "I have an idea."

"I'm all ears."

"What do you say, when Ace comes back we plan a proper party for Soph?"

"That's actually not bad. See, I'm not the only smart one in this relationship."

I smile as I press a kiss to Ollie's lips, whispering, "With Drew there."

"That motherfu-" I cut her off with another kiss, which in hindsight was best for everyone.