Sophia, who art thou?

2. SOPHIA

3rd January, 2018

I wasn't Drew's. I knew that the moment I stepped into "Chez Maman" (I should've known Jade would go all out for this) and felt Olivia's arms wrap me in a tight embrace, the scent of her perfume slowly and carefully wafting up my nose. I've always liked jasmine. It's always reminded me of better things.

"You're really marrying him?"

"Yes, Liv, I've told you a million times already. This is happening."

"After everything he did?"

"Olivia. Stop."

"Just because you've forgotten doesn't mean I have," Olivia said, firmly placing her glass on the table, startling the couple sitting behind us.

I don't like making a fuss. Ever. Even when I got engaged yesterday, I made Drew drive us straight home. I couldn't bear to see all those eyes on me. Some happy, some envious. I've never liked being the center of attention. Olivia knows that. She's just trying to make me uncomfortable so I'll cave. But I don't do that. "Can we just please focus on enjoying brunch? Jade will be here soon and I don't want her to be burdened by your problems with my fiancé."

"Problems? Problems? You have shown up at my door in literal tears so many times I've lost count now, Soph! I'm sorry I can't silently stand by as you're..."

"I'm what?" As I look into my best friends eyes, I can't help but hope she won't say what both of us know she's thinking. Olivia and I have always had an unsaid understanding. Both of us know what the other's thinking but we never say it out loud, especially if it's a sensitive matter like Drew, because if we do, we'll have to accept that it's real. No one wants that.

"Nothing. I... it's not important."

"Clearly it was! Now spit it out! I deserve to know what my best friend thinks about-"

"I can't see you stuck in a relationship that's sucking the life out of you!"

"Wow. Okay."

I see a look of horror make its way across Olivia's face. Clearly, she's realized the weight of her words. "I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't have-"

"No. No. Why are you sorry for just saying what you've been thinking all this time?"

"Soph-"

"I am not stuck, Olivia. Get that through your head. I am not someone that needs to be saved. I do not need someone to make all my decisions for me. I do not need someone to critique me every step of the way!"

"Then what do you need?"

"I need to get through brunch."

"Okay. We'll get you through brunch. I'll call Jade. She shouldn't be far away."

"Okay."

I took a sip of my mimosa, as I watched Olivia hurriedly text Jade. It's adorable. Olivia's badass. She isn't intimidated by anything or anyone. Except when she has to talk to Jade. That's the only time Olivia feels like a human, like me. She still fumbles. After all these years. It's kind of sweet, really. Olivia and Jade are the definition of "power couple". Each makes the other stronger. Neither can stay away from the other for too long. But both of them are super independent. And codependent at the same time. I can't explain it, but it makes sense. They make sense. Anyone who'll take one look at them will say that. People don't say that when they look at me and Drew. They never have. But we do make sense. It's just that no one sees that but us. Maybe this ring will change that. I smile a little as the sunlight reflects on the dainty emerald stone on my finger, sending a dancing ray of green across the white satin of the tablecloth. But I don't want to display it to the world. I want to cover it up and hide it from everyone. I drop my left palm into my lap, as I look up to see a gleaming Olivia.