Sophia, who art thou?

23. SOPHIA

12th January, 2018

I keep glancing at the clock in front of my coffee station. I can't help but count the hours until I'm off shift and I can finally have a real date night with Drew. Things have been tense since he found out about Roman. I'm not happy with the way I handled things either. But it was big of him to take the first step. Only five more hours. I smile as I think about what the evening has in store or me and then-

"Roman?"

"Hey, Soph."

"What are you...why are you here?"

"I came to talk to Tessa. Family business," he shrugs politely.

"Oh. Of course. I'll umm...I'll go get her."

"You sound sad."

"What? Me? No. No."

"Your voice is all squeaky."

I clear my throat, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. All of a sudden I'm very conscious of the fact that I skipped wash day. "I just thought after everything that happened at New Year's, I should tell you-"

"You're engaged to Drew."

"You knew?"

"Didn't think Tessa wouldn't tell me, did you?"

I want to cry. I want to cry right now and leap into his arms and listen to him tell me that it's all going to be okay. But is it? "I'm sorry, Roman."

"Why?"

What? Did he just ask me that? "Because...we have history."

"And history is all it is, Soph. Even if we could've been something, we aren't. And that's okay." I know he can tell that I'm hurt. I can see it in his eyes. But I know I shouldn't be. It was wrong of me to think that he would always just...wait for me. I can't expect other people to put their lives on hold for me. "Can I get a Frappuccino, please?" he asks, smiling kindly.

I nod. It makes sense that's why he's here. Coffee. Just coffee. I turn around as I reach for a cup, writing 'Roman' on it in cursive as I wait for the machine to do its thing. "Oh, yeah. For sure. I'll just get it for you-"

"We should catch up sometime."

And there it is. That flutter in my heart I know shouldn't be there. It's a good thing he can't see my face because I am willing to bet you a thousand dollars it is bright red.

"Soph?"

I know I regret it as soon as I've said it, but the damage is done. "When?"

I feel warmth spread all over my chest as I see Roman's nose scrunch as he smiles. "Tonight? I am new to the city and Tessa isn't big on show and tell."

"Tonight is great!"

"Yeah?"

"Yes. It's a date. Wait. No. Not a date date. A... friend date? I am going to stop talking now. Oh shoot, you came here for Tessa and here I am hogging you. I will just go get..."

"Take a breath, Soph."

"I'm going to go get Tessa."

"Okay."

"See you tonight."

"Save some of that for the sightseeing, Soph."

As I'm telling Tessa Roman's here for her, I go on autopilot. And then it hits me. Drew. Shit. How could I forget? I should text him. No, call him. No. Have you lost it, Soph? You are not going to cancel on your fiancé for some guy you hope has been waiting for you! Before I can decide what I should do, I feel my phone buzz.

so sorry, can't do tonight...work☹☹

I feel my face go hot. I feel like I'm going to punch a hole through the wall in front of me. I yank my apron and hang it on one of the empty carts we always have at the back of the storage room.

I leave through the back exit and don't look back. I don't care if Tessa counts this as half a shift but I am out of here. I have about a million thoughts going through my head. A million things I should say to Drew right now but the thought of hearing his fake apologies are unbearable.

When I'm at the bus station, I decide to send a text of my own.

pick me up at my place. 5 o'clock.