Sophia, who art thou?

20. AMELIA

12th January, 2018

I don't have $58,500. I don't even have half of that.

"Maybe your insurance can cover it."

I don't have insurance. You should know that, Kathy. "Umm...can I just...can I make a call?"

"Sure go ahead!"

Stop smiling or I will rip your fucking head off, Kathy. I tear my eyes away from the nurse. If it weren't for the present circumstances, I'd probably be making out with her in the closest supply closet by now. Okay, now I tear my eyes away from her for real and dial the number at the top of my favorite's list.

Hey there! It's Jade. I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get right back to you!

I cut the call before I can hear the beep. Jade's been screening my calls all week. Dr. Olvera told me she stayed the night she and Ollie brought me in but haven't been in since. Maybe Ollie will pick up. I impatiently tap my foot on the dirty white of the floor, earning nasty glares from overworked and underpaid nurses surrounding the station.

Hi, you've reached Olivia. You know what to do.

Okay, so good to know Ollie's team Jade for this one. God, one overdose and they're pretending like I don't even exist. So, I call a number I know will pick up.

"Fifi, oh thank god you-"

"Have you lost your fucking mind, Amelia?"

Fifi's cursing? Okay now I know I've really screwed up. "Fifi, I'm-"

"This is the reason you got kicked out of school! God, do you learn nothing?"

"Technically, that was for dealing. I was using."

I know I've lost Fifi when I hear a dry laugh echo from her end of the phone. "Do not call me again."

"No, no. dude, I'm so sorry, it won't happen again-"

"You are dead to me, Amelia."

"Fifi? Fifi?" I pull the phone away from my ear to see "call ended" written in red under Fifi's number.

Okay, so no Jade, no Ollie, no Fifi. And that's not even the worst part. Who the hell is going to pay my bill?

"Okay, Kathy. Slight inconvenience."

"Can't pay your bill?"

"Oh, yeah. That. So, I have a little bit of a funding situation-"

"So you can't pay your bill?"

I smile my widest smile. It's worked before. It's how I get into all those fancy restaurants without even having to pay for myself. "No...?"

Kathy laughs. She is laughing at me. "How old are you, kid?"

"Umm...nineteen. And a half."

"How many times have you been in and out of hospitals?"

"I don't know."

"Loosely translated to 'too many'?"

Okay I cannot take this any longer. I lean over the counter, my face mere centimeters from hers. "Why don't you get to the fucking point, Kathy?" I say through gritted teeth.

She laughs at me. Again. Really, what is wrong with people these days? "You'll be drowning in debt till you're forty, kid."

As I'm filling and signing the multiple forms Kathy's handed me, I can't help but think: If I'll be drowning in debt till I'm forty, should I even be alive till forty?