Wishes Of US ~Jinkook~

Still With You

It has been 10 months since I am working in the frontline. Hoseok is with me on every duty and he knows how strongly I am attached to hyung in these few months. He has been my motivation, the reason that I am still going very perfectly in everything. He called me every night asking how I spend my day.

But happiness is not for someone like me. It seems like I borrowed some happiness for a short period. Hyung didn't call me for a week. Hoseok is going mad because he can not reach hyung. After a week I decided to call the camp and ask about hyung. Hoseok followed me to the main office because he is too freaking out about hyungs well being.

He suddenly left the camp with permission due to family matter. That's what I heard from the other side.

The week turned to month, a month turned to months, and still, I am in a daze because of not having clear information about hyung. The day approached when I and Hoseok finally got discharged from the camp. We separated for our ways with the promise of meeting again. But still, hyung vanished into thin air like he never existed in the world.

"My baby... You got thin" my mom cried while hugging me.
"Don't worry mom. I'll eat well from now on" it's coming from my inner thoughts. I didn't eat well for previous 6 months because of hyung's incident. Should I search for him? I asked the same question from me hundreds of times but still, I hesitate to give a direct answer. In these 6 months, I started to question the relashionship between hyung and me. Why he left?why he can't call me? Is he really over me? Or he never cared about me?

I had enough questions in my mind but still every morning and every night I am thinking about him without a break. Looks like he vanished with my right mind. I just want to sing for him so badly. Like we did in training camp. I want to hold his tiny fist beneath my big palm and give him every love he deserved. But all are stuck in a dream. More like a fantasy that I couldn't get enough of. I want to pray for him for the first time in my life. I want to reach him and embrace him in my heart as no one ever done to him. I want to find him. 

"Jeykey..." Hoseok chirps from the other side.
"Hyung... How you have been? It's been a while."
"I went to my hometown. Then took a long break to get back to my dancing mood."
"Glad to hear hyung"
"What about you? Did you start practices again?"
"Not yet hyung. I am still thinking of a way to start."
"What bothers you jungkookah?"
"Mm. Nothing hyung. All is well. Just catching up on things I left before." I want to release everything and get relax. But I don't want to show my weakness to anyone. I just hold everything to myself until everything, anything gets better.
"Jungkookah... I call you because I have a message for you." Hoseok continued and my heart feels like it was going to explode.
"Tell me hyung." I continued as normally as possible I can get because I do not want to show my true self right now.
"It's about Jin hyung." now my patient level is passed and I am eager to know the message.
"Please hyung, tell me. Is he okay??"
Now I am crying over my phone.
"Yeah kind of. You didn't know him very well jungkook. I mean his life."
"What do you mean hyung?" I am furious over our conversation.
"Has he ever told you what is his job? Or where he lives?"
"He told me his hometown is Gwenchoen but other than that we didn't talk about anything."
"Well. His hometown is Gwenchoen but he lives in Seoul. The reason he left the training with a sudden excuse is his family got into trouble. So he is given an excuse to shorten the period."
"Is he okay hyung?"
"I don't know kookie. I just got the meassage why he left. Otherthan that I don't know anything."
"Thank you hyung. Thank you for telling me." I sniffed into the phone.
"Jungkookah... If you can please go find him. I know he is going through a lot right now. Having you by his side will give him strength. I am going to hang up for now. Take care of yourself and hyung too. Goodbye Jungkookah"
"Goodbye hyung." I cut the call and drop into my bed. He is not okay... He is going through a lot. He is not doing okay... But here I am doubting him for more than 7 months doing nothing good for him. I'll come hyung. Just wait a bit. I'll be there for you.