Wishes Of US ~Jinkook~

Hurt

I tightly hold his tiny palm and walked on freshly gathered snow from the night. His soft pink lips parts slightly and his warm breath escaped between his lips forming a white mist. I kissed his palm and put it in my winter jacket pocket. His face is glowing now. The hair is thick as it was before. I feel my heart beating with full of happiness after a long time. But... Suddenly snow started to disappear forming to huge flood. I held his hand tightly but I couldn't keep the strength. I tried to scream out for him. But he disappeared into flood leaving my weeping soul on desert land once beautiful with snow.

I didn't scream into nightmares I got very often the past two months. I am devastated by all the unsuccessful attempts I got to find him in the past two months. It led me to the worst nightmares I have ever got in my life. My life is a living hell in passing every minute without him. I silently cried on the pillow as always I did in the past two months. I wish I can end this pain at once and live as if nothing matters anymore. But I can't do anything I am stuck with loneliness and exhausted by the situation I am going through. I am more disappointed in him. I am disappointed in the solution he found for our problems. I was disappointed so much because of his eagerness to take action without me in his life. I sat on the bed and took his pillow into my lap. I wish I can hug him like this. I am afraid I won't be able to keep him like this ever again. Even though I am disappointed in him how can I stop loving him? Even though he left me my love is stronger than before for him. That's why I can't end all the pain and I am living with pain even though it hurts me to death.

I suddenly heard my phone ringing in my jacket pocket. Seems like I didn't get a phone out last night. I sat on the bed without going to take the phone. Probably it might be the boss calling for tonight's game. Should I go or not? I am working hard for him but I can't find his trace for the last two months. The phone ringing died down and after a few seconds, it started to ring again. I lazily dragged my foot toward the chair that was kept in front of the mirror table. Annoyingly I started to look for the phone inside the jacket pockets. It's not boss. It's Hobi Hyung. I answered the call while sitting on the chair.

"Hyung..." I rested my head on the chair and I can see the white ceiling above me.
"Jungkook book a ticket to Jeju. Jin Hyung is here. I saw him a while ago in the marketplace." I felt my world stops suddenly and everything went blank. I tried to regain consciousness and ran to the cupboard to grab my small backpack and passport. Who cares about washing the face anymore?

"Jungkook..." Hobi Hyung hugged me tightly and got my backpack in his hand.
"Come on" he clutched my palm and started to run to the car park. I didn't say anything just followed him like a lost puppy.
"Hyung how is he?" I asked while watching the road in front of me.
"Not good." his small two words made a hole in me and started to swallow me alive. I didn't open my mouth until I got to the place where Hobi Hyung stayed temporarily.
"Keep the bag and eat something. I know you didn't eat anything."
"Hyung. Let's go right away. We can't waste any second. Please."
"I know but are you going to see him like this? Just take a shower and eat. Will take you." I didn't say anything and followed him inside the apartment complex. I ate and showered at high speed and dressed into a clean outfit. When I got my bag Hobi Hyung silently left the apartment with me and started his car.
The seaside with salt wind brushed my hair and I can feel the saltiness of the wind. I licked my lips to feel the salty taste caused by the wind. Hobi Hyung parked the car in the marketplace and got out of the car.
"We have to ask from the people here. We don't know where he lives." Hobi Hyung locked the car and started to walk to the market. He got the phone from his pant pocket and searched through some photos. I saw Hobi Hyung find the photo of Jin Hyung and went to the vendor who sells strawberries. No wonder he is choosing him first. Cause if Jin Hyung is here he definitely comes here to buy these. His love for strawberries is so much big.
But he didn't know Hyung's face. We began to walk towards different stalls and asked about Jin Hyung showing his photo. Finally, we found him. In the fish market. Covered with wet pants because they are selling fresh seafood. I stood there like a statue because I couldn't believe that I saw my Jin Hyung here. So skinny, bones can be seen on the face, and pale skin with red marks everywhere. I feel that my legs going weak and lost their strength. My eyes fluttered with tears and those began to flow on my cheek and wet the shirt collar.
"Hyung..." I mumbled in a low voice.
"Why are you here?" he asked without emotion. So cold yet I can feel the nervousness in his voice.
"Let's go hyung." I tried to grab his wrist.
"To where Jungkook?" he asked while getting his hand away from my grip.
"Home," I tell him with tears.
"I don't have one Jungkook." he turned to go inside the stall.