"Where are you going Jungkook?"
"Work..." I got my backpack from the couch and stepped towards the front door and unlocked it.
"It's 6 pm Jungkook. You are not going to do that work again. What's your point anyway?"
"I need money."
"For what? We have enough"
"Not for me hyung. There is a lot to do." I slung the bag over my shoulder and left the apartment.
It's been 3 months. He left me one week after his operation. They said his body rejected the bone marrow. They said even before the operation, the risk is high because of an unrelated donor. But still, I trusted him. I trusted him to fight it and get better.
As we planned he came home on Christmas. I went to Japan on new year's Eve with him. I did everything we planned together. But everything felt like a dream to me. I am not ready to accept his departure. I know he is still waiting for me at the apartment. I know he is reading books until I come from a late-night job. I know I am going home to see him, kiss him, and cuddle him. But all I got is a silent apartment, a cold couch, and a cold bed without his warm body. I don't know if I forgot how to cry or if I don't know it became a normal thing to me. Somehow I don't feel anything at all. All my emotions are bottled up inside me with so much pressure and it can be a blast anytime.
"You are not going there anymore. I talked to your boss Jungkook." I heard Hobi Hyung saying. I saw him sitting in front of the couch while placing a water glass in front of me.
"When did you guys become friends?" I asked while placing my legs on the table.
"Since you started to go unnecessary job."
"You stalked me?"
"What if I do? I need to protect you Jungkook. That's why I am staying here with you."
"Leave hyung. I don't need you to protect me."
"What are you talking about?"
"Leave me alone. And I don't interfere with my work. I need money and because of you, that bastard is not gonna let me do it."
"Language Jungkook."
"I don't fucking care." I got slammed the glass into the floor and left the apartment middle of the night. I know Hoseok Hyung doesn't leave me. I know he promised Hyung to protect me at all costs. He was there when Hyung left me. He was there when I bought Hyung's urn after his funeral. He was there when I curled up on the floor without eating. He was there when I locked myself in the bathroom and let myself engulf the water-filled bathtub. He saved me like a knight. He protect the promise he made to him.
But, I need money. I need money to buy our house. Buy our car and bicycles. I can't live here alone hyung. At least let me do these to ease my pain. To make these I hurt Hoseok Hyung so badly. I am sorry hyung... I don't have any other choices left.
I walked toward the Han River. I missed the feeling we walked here every evening. Until you started to get treatments we walked there. I remembered you pouted to get an ice cream. I softly smiled and walked towards the river park. I can hear the songs from here. After a long time, I wanted to sing again hyung. Would you listen to me hyung? I slowly walked toward the street busking place. And... They gave me a chance to sing...
Loving and fighting, accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone
The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone
You locked yourself in the bathroom
Lying on the floor when I breakthrough
I pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me
Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you
Long endless highway, you're silent beside me
Driving a nightmare I can't escape from
Helplessly praying, the light isn't fading
Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones
They took you away to a table
I pace back and forth as you lay still
They pull you in to feel your heartbeat
Can you hear me screaming? Please don't leave me
Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
Let me take your hand, I'll make it right
I swear to love you all my life
Hold on, I still need you
I don't wanna let go
I know I'm not that strong
I just wanna hear you
Saying, "Baby, let's go home"
Let's go home
Yeah, I just wanna take you home
Hold on, I still want you
Come back, I still need you
(Chord Overstreet)
I cried after running away from busking. I fell on the bridge and cried my heart out. The feelings I covered and pressed into me, I slowly opened up to unknown wind and cold water underneath me. I lay there until I can catch my breath again. I looked into the wide sky above me. Without the moon, it doesn't looks nice tonight. Just like me. Without him, I am just a human without a soul.
"Hyung you know why stars are so lonely yet beautiful?"
"who said they are lonely?"
"Why aren't they hyung?"
"They have moon Jungkook. They still stay even new moon comes once a month. Because they know the moon will be back no matter what."
"Why do they trust that much?"
"Cause Moon didn't break his promise until now."
"Until now? So the promise of the moon can be broken someday?"
"Who knows Jungkook? Everything has an end. We are not here for eternity. The same goes for the moon and stars as well."
"But promises are for protection for eternity. Not for break easily."
"Easy to say."
"That's why those are valuable. Promises are not for everyone hyung. Those are for those who can protect them no matter what happened."
"Are you one of them Jungkook?"
"Maybe. I want to be one."
"Then I want to be one too."
But you left me... I am alone here. But I will do what I promised you Hyung. I will show you how much I am strong hyung. How much love you.
YOU ARE READING
Wishes Of US ~Jinkook~
Fanfiction"We will meet again hyung." "When?" "Someday." "I don't like when words don't have promise or trust in them." "Me too hyung. I don't like to say words that don't have promise or trust in them." "Then why?" "What else can I say?" He tried to run away...
