Hope (Destiel High School AU)

Chapter 17 - It's not easy

(Dean's POV)

*the following Friday*

Charlie and I are sitting in my impala outside my house, waiting for Cas to call her. He said he'd call her right when he's gets home, back from his long trip. She was going to talk to him for me, while I listened in. I'm trying to win him back.

When her phone finally starts ringing, my heart starts racing.

"Cas!" Charlie says when she answers the phone on speaker.

"Hey Charlie!" Cas replies. The sound of his voice gives me this horrible feeling under, making me realize how much I miss him, and how much I hate myself for hurting him.

"How was your trip?" She asks, and I'm just anxious.

"It was.. Interesting. But I had fun. Glad to be back. But..." Cas trails off.

"But what?"

"It got kinda ruined this last week because of Dean.."

I felt a lot of pain in my chest now.

"I did something stupid Charlie, to try and forget about him.." he adds, his voice cracking at the end, letting us know he's about to cry.

"What did you do Cas?"

"Charlie, do you think there's any hope for Dean and I?" He changes the subject.

"Well, there could be if you two try to fix things." She looks at me when she says this and I just frown.

"He cheated on me though.. How do I forgive him for that? Do you even realize how badly he hurt me?" His voice was cracking again.

"But he loves you Cas. You should have seen him this past week, he's been a wreck. He hates what he's done, and he hates that he hurt you. He's beaten himself up about it all week."

I give her this look of what the heck. Was it necessary to tell him all of that?

"Really? Wow.. But I don't think he'd want to be with me anymore.."

"Why do you say that Cas?" She raises an eyebrow and I get a little worried.

"Charlie can I tell you something, since you're my best friend, that you can't tell anyone else?"

"Of course, Cas!" She says.

"I um... I got really drunk and I.. I had sex with someone.. " he pauses then cries out, "I'm so stupid!"

I cannot believe my ears. I just can't believe this. This isn't Castiel at all. I feel so.. So... I can't even think of the right word. I'm hurt, but I guess I deserve it. Plus it's not cheating because he broke up with me.

Cas is crying on the other line now, calling himself stupid over and over.

I get out of the car and walk up to my house, to the front door.

"Dean!" I hear Charlie say so i stop and turn around. She comes running up to me with the phone in her hands. I look at it and give her a ummm kind of look
"It's on mute don't worry." She reassures me. "Why did you leave?"

"I don't want to try anymore.." I openly admit.

She raises both of her eyebrows with a look of shock on her face. "What?" She asks, obviously confused.

"I can't do this anymore, Charlie. We both hurt each other badly. I kiss a guy and Cas goes and fucks some guy. I don't see how that is something I can possibly just forget about."