Hope (Destiel High School AU)

Chapter 18 - Forgetting problems

(Deans POV)

As I'm walking down the stairs, I glance over to the living room because someone is laying on the couch. Probably Sam. I don't know why he'd do that though. I remember Cas came over yesterday, but I was stupid toward him thanks to the weed, so he left.
Why do I even touch that stuff? I know it makes me do stupid things, especially towards Cas, but I guess it's because it makes me feel good. I think that the fact that it helps relax me, is why I always end up high after shit happens. It helps me. It's like I'm in another world, not worrying about a single thing. It's my way of getting away, and escaping my problems.

I walk into the kitchen and pour some cereal into a bowl. When I sat down in a chair, it was cold against my bare back - I'm only wearing my pants from yesterday. I must have slept in them. I pour milk into the bowl then take a bite. Then I start thinking...

Does Cas hate me? I think he did or a while, but not anymore. I mean he did come over yesterday, so that's gotta say something...

The thing is, I don't think I'm too happy with him though.. Yesterday I was pretty damn upset. He had sex with some stranger.. All I did was get high. Sure, I kissed my ex, but I didn't have sex with him. That would have been way worse though. Doing it with your ex, is worse than a stranger. Cas did it after he broke up with me though, so I don't exactly have a right to be angry. But I am hurt. When he had told Charlie about what he had down, I couldn't even believe it. I still can't! It doesn't sound like anything he'd do at all. Ever. He hates it when I drink, so it's very weird. But I am still hurt about it. That's why I got high yesterday. I'm just not good with dealing with my problems, so I get high.

I feel my front jean pockets, hoping the rest of my weed is still there. It is.

"Might as well finish it off.." I say to myself and finish up my cereal before going back upstairs.

It's really early on this Saturday so it's crazy how I'm awake right now.

7:52am says my phone. Sam won't be up for awhile because he likes to sleep in on the weekends, like every other teenager. Sunday's though sometimes he gets up earlier to start homework because he always waits last minute. Then he usually goes to Gabe's after,

I'm glad Sam is happy with Gabriel. All I ever want is for Sam to be happy. Our dad is never around to look after us and make sure that we are both happy. So I do it for Sam. He's my little brother, so of course I've gotta look out for him.

When I get to my room, I close the door and lay on my bed before pulling my weed out. There isn't a whole lot let over but it was enough. I can just get some from Chuck later or tomorrow or something. He's always able to hook me up with the good stuff.

"Ooh, yeahh." I say when I take the first hit. "This stuff is just amazing." I smile and take another hit.

If I have my weed, I won't have to deal with my problems ever again.. Maybe I could move on from Cas. Sure, I miss him, but this weed makes me feel so great!!

~

*About 30 minutes later *

"Dean!" I hear Sam yell from downstairs ".

I thought I said his name back but I only mouthed his name and laughed before coughing. I forgot to open a window so there was some smoke in my room and Sam could probably smell it from downstairs. Oopsies, oh well!

I laugh at myself and look up at the ceiling. I somehow ended up on the ground with my arms and legs sprawled out. Oh well. I laugh again.

The lights on the ceiling start looking weird and I know I'm tripping out, but this shit was entertaining me.