Hope (Destiel High School AU)

Chapter 30 - Things Aren't Okay

*The Next Day*

(Cas' POV)

It was rainy and icky out, wind blowing, sending me into shivers as I race to my cheap old car. I rub up and down my arms, trying to get some friction to feel warmth. I frantically open the passenger door to grab my coat and put it on. The warmth from the coat makes things better because it  makes me feel a little better.

My trench coat is very important to me. I've had it for a few years now, and I wear it almost all the time. It's like another home to me. I know it sounds weird, and stupid, but I don't care.

-

The second I stepped inside the prison-like school, Lisa see's me. She yells out my name, but I don't bring any of my attention to her. I simply ignore her and keep walking so I can get to my locker.

But ignoring her doesn't even help because she yells my name again, and it annoys me. I'm ignoring you, isn't that a sign? I feel bad about my thoughts, but it's true. I really don't want to be bothered right now.

"Leave me alone, Lisa." I turn the combination on my locker and open it, revealing a practically empty locker. It only holds my three textbooks, which i forgot to bring home last night. But I wasn't even home yesterday really, so that doesn't matter. I didn't do my homework though, so that's a bit of a problem.

"No, Castiel, I'm mad at you." She begins to glare at me as she crosses her arms across her chest.

"Why?" I turn and face her. "Because I was high? Because I didn't show up at Deans?" I had anger in my tone now.

"Well, yeah! You-"

I roll my eyes. "Lisa, you don't exactly have a right to be mad at me for that. You're not my mom."

"But what you did-"

"I don't care, Lisa." I turn back to face my locker and I grab a book out. "I wanted to get high to help me forget about things. This is all too hard okay?"

"You can't just do drugs to make this all go away. Dean needs you."

"Deans done it before, why is it so bad that I do it too? And Dean doesn't need me."

"I wasn't happy when Dean did it either, Castiel. And yes, he does."

"No. He had you there yesterday. So I'm sure he's fine."

She goes quiet so I look at her and I notice that the expression on her face changed, so now she looks scared.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh uh, nothing." She fiddles with her fingers.

I pull out another text book and notice a piece of paper in the back corner of the looker. It's crumpled and folded in half. I open it and see Deans name written down on it a bunch. I remember doing this one day in one of my classes. It was the second week of school, and I couldn't stop thinking about him, so I did that.

I crumple the paper back up in my hand, and toss it away in a bin nearby. I wish I could have toss my feelings or emotions in there too. Throw it all away so I can't feel anything. The weed helped with that.

"What was that?" Lisa asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing."

"Okay.. Well, you should at least talk to Dean."

This woman would not give up, and it's really starting to irritate me.