Larissa x reader

My little love| fluff

*Authors note~ I adore this prompt and I'm glad I can add VTS into it to spread some awareness. I'm a Twin of VTS and I can't honestly say I notice my twin's absence and always have, I'm very lucky to be here just wish he was too*

Trigger warnings~ age regression, miscarriage (vts~ vanishing twin syndrome) self hatred over the losses mentions of passing babies :(

Prompt~ tumblr anon~ Hiyaaaaa, so this is a little bit of a weird request so I hope it's not too weird. Could I request a caregiver larissa weems x fem reader? Maybe reader is having an awful flashback from their past, a flashback that relates to pregnancy and birth and stuff, and so maybe Larissa helps her slip?
Maybe by making her feel little by carrying her around, giving her her favourite teddy bear or a blankie or a paci, cuddling her and bringing her something to rehydrate her since she's been crying, makes her feel super safe and maybe she says something like "You're the only little one, darling, my little one, the only baby I need"
If not that's completely okay!!
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The day they died would haunt you forever. Twins. You should have two perfect little doves flying around the shared quarters, bring joy, laughter and light into your lives. But that wasn't what had occurred. You lost your boy in the three month mark. He should've been safe, but he just vanished. Okay so that wasn't exactly true, there was bleeding and then you passed him. Your perfect innocent baby boy gone. His sister still remained. That help sort of. The guilt of failing him but trying to stay strong for her. It was single handedly the worst time of yours and Larissa's life. Not only had she lost a son but she had to watch you break down into a shell of yourself and your constant fear of losing baby girl. Unfortunately after losing your son -who you later named Samuel- made your pregnancy high risk. Your daughter left you three weeks later. All you had now was memories and one scan photo with the both of them, and one with baby girl by herself.

You had to go to therapy and so did Larissa, doctor Kimbot was amazing with you, so gentle and kind and she is actually the reason you named the babies. A way to help you both deal with the loss and keep their memory alive. Larissa choose Samuel and you choose Emily. You both had agreed that the names were perfect for them, your angel doves in the sky. But that doesn't mean you would ever be fine again. You remember having to pass both babies, the pain you felt knowing they would enter the world sleeping. Your body not ready to deal with the contractions it would take. Larissa was with you the whole time, holding your hand and whispering words of love and support through her own tears. That memory haunted your dreams for weeks and occasionally it still does. On special days like the days they passed or what should've been their birthday, you and Larissa found it hard.

You never tried again, it felt too raw. But now three years on? You really wanted to give Larissa a baby of her own, but would your body fail you again? You couldn't risk seeing the pain in her eyes, all because your body refused to carry the babies. It seemed unfair to put Larissa through that. You clearly deserved it otherwise your body wouldn't have betrayed you like that. But not her. She's so perfect and pure, absolute perfection there was no way she could deserve to suffer this way. You wanted to try again but the fear was just too strong. And you knew that Larissa understood that but still you can't help but blame yourself. What kind of wife were you if you couldn't even give her a child?

You laid curled up in the bed, tears that you didn't even know were falling were soaking on to your wife's pillow. And that's how she found you, completely spaced out torturing yourself. Today was hard enough without you ignoring your own needs. She knew by the spacey look you needed to regress. It was how you coped and she had no issues looking after you. But you had the habit of ignoring the need if you felt like you deserved to be punished. So on those days Larissa would always add an extra helping hand.

She filtered about the room, unnoticed by you, grabbing your special box and selecting a few chooses items. Your childhood bear "Emery", a weighted blanket and your choose pacifier. It was rare you would use it but she wanted to be prepared just Incase it was one of those days. She brought them all to the bed and gently called out for you. "My sweet girl, are you okay?" To which you shook your head spotting the bear. You sat up and snatched him into your arms, not meaning to be so forceful but seeing him overwhelmed you with a need to feel him. "Oh my sweet little one did you miss ems?" To which you nodded and tried to wipe your tears. Failing, you felt Larissa wipe team for you. "Would my baby like a hug?" She whispered to you watching as you crawled into her arms and sobbed. She gently rocked you, covering your form with the blanket and cooing calming words of love and reassurance to you. Her hand rubbing slow firm circles on your back.

Only when you had fully calmed down and it was clear you were just hiding in her neck from embarrassment of slipping when you "didn't deserve it" , Larissa moved you gently back into the bed and went to retrieve you some water in your sippy straw cup. She hadn't even left the room before you sobbed her name. Your hands outstretched much like a toddler who wishes to grab something, indicating you wanted to be held. "Sweet girl mommy needs to get you some water, you'll dehydrate little one. I'll be right back okay?" She murmured watching as you violently shook your head trying to crawl to her. "Would you like to come baby? Is that what's wrong?" In which you nodded stretching your hands up once more. Larissa scooped you up with ease and held you close to her body, as if you were a koala bear clinging to a tree. It made the task a little difficult but you were happy and that's all she ever wanted for you.

Once you had your water she made her way back to the bedroom with you and settled in bed. Your head resting on her chest, listening to the beating of the organ that lay beneath the skin there. Her fingers stroking through your curls watching as you played with the bears fingers and ears in thought. "Baby" you muttered quietly to yourself, before repeating it louder turning to look at her. "You are my baby yes" she confirmed watching as you shook your head no. "No! You wan baby" you stated, staring at her waiting for her to disagree. Which of course she couldn't. "I fail no baby" you mumbled the sobs threatening to break your words. "You're the only little one, darling, my little one, the only baby I need. You didn't fail, it wasn't your fault my love. And when your big again we can talk more but for now come and snuggle with mommy baby" she comforted you and held you tight ensuring you drank your water before you passed out from the exhaustion you were feeling. You may not have given her children of her own, there was plenty of time for that in the future, for now she was content to be a momma to her little love. And you provided her with that.

Word count ~ 1327