Larissa x reader

Still a mother| h&c

*Authors note~ I know this was a new request but seems as mothers day for me was yesterday I just wanted to get this one out for you all*

Trigger warnings~ miscarriage, depression, self loathing

Prompt~ requested by the lovely Abi1468
Could you maybe do like a part 2 to the angel baby one, where its a few years later, its mother day, and r is feeling really guilty so larissa reassures r they did the right thing 💞

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*******************previously********************
"What if I just called them dove?" You murmured. Shot sweet and not tied to a gender. Dove could also be related back to death which seemed to tie in perfectly. Your little dove too precious for this world.

"Dove is beautiful little one. Your little dove" Larissa was quick to confirm it was a beautiful name. "Y/n your exhausted I see the flowers, let's get you back to your dorm and all tucked up in bed hmm? We will start the process in the morning if it's what you want, I'll be here every step of the way. I may not be biologically your mum but every student at Nevermore our my little ones. I'd do anything to help and protect any of you..." she trailed off noticing your breathing had shallowed out and little pink flowers now took up residence where the blue were. Your skin a mixture of pink and purple as you dozed in her embrace.
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Florakinesis was your blessing and curse. Being with the plants soothed you in ways no other could but also the dead giveaway for your emotions was the flowers that would bloom in your hair. So that is how you knew that Larissa would instantly see what you were internally battling. Black roses and deep blue flowers crowned your head. Self loathing or hatred and sadness. Yep that summed your feelings up perfectly. After all it made sense. The day that it is was a day you should be celebrating yet you got rid of your reason. Your one who made you a mother... well until you did the unspeakable act and ended their little life too soon. Now you would sit here every year, every day and wonder just who they could've been, if you had just been stronger.

With no way to hide your own emotions you settled for hiding away. Nevermore had the yearly tradition to hold a Mother's Day weekend, one where the mothers of the students had the opportunity to come to Jericho and see their child with the opportunity to spend some time together at Nevermore and in the town. You'd done so well to be present on the Friday and the Saturday but today? The actual day for mothers you just couldn't face it. That made your self hatred worse, you couldn't even handle the fact you gave up your chance to be a mother but you couldn't handle the idea of being a mother either. Truly you beloved dove must have left you for a reason.

You knew what flowers had bloomed in your hair, you didn't need to see it so you just hid yourself away under the covers watching your comfort show. The show usually would distract you from the reality of this world, transporting you into the greatest minds of the FBI as they hunted down un subs. Your favourite agent was Emily prentiss, and her backstory really resonated with you. She'd been through so much shit yet continued to get up and live every day. And that was a strength you admired.

Before you knew it your feelings of guilt and self loathing had you in tears, crying for the life you could've had if you'd been strong enough to keep your dove. Instead you were stuck loving and missing someone that only two others knew about. One, the dead beat dad who used you for bragging rights and the other being the very stunning Larissa Weems.

She had been there as promised, holding your hand and hushing your cry's. Just like any mother would their upset child. Her comfort and support was honestly all that got you through it. You reminded Larissa of that every now and then and she simply dismissed the praise as though it was unnecessary. To her, it wasn't she did what anyone would do, but to you it was very necessary. That fact was why you weren't surprised to see the Headmistress letting herself in your dorm and sighing at the sight. Of course you'd be struggling today. In fact she was cursing herself for not noticing sooner. How long had you been crying alone?

"Little one? Is it about Dove?" She murmured coming to sit on the edge of the bed, never touching you, but close enough to offer the choice. You let out a sob at the name and nodded. Tears falling uncontrollably as you sobbed for your baby, to precious for the earth. "It's my fault, I would've been a bad mother. I killed them Isa. I'm a horrid person. Imagine what they'd be right now. A little giggly three year old, running around causing mischief and they'd absolutely love you. I know that. They'd cling to you and you'd spoil them rotten. But I took that all away from them. From you. I'm so sorry Isa. I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry dove. God I hate myself" you mumbled, the mini rant being broken up through your sobs.

See one fact that had changed, Larissa had supported you through the process and as time trickled on you two became an item, that's how you ended up on the Nevermore staff. You knew she loved you and that she wouldn't blame you for not keeping the precious dove but you couldn't help but grieve the child that you had lost.

"Don't love, don't torture yourself like this. You did what you needed to do at the time. I know for a fact Dove doesn't blame you, you will be a great mother some day, when your ready for it. And Dove knows that. Darling, you are still a mother love, you still carried Dove for a little while, you deserve to be celebrated just as much as every other mother out there." She reassured you before offering her arms outwards indicating you could hug if you wanted. You threw yourself into her arms and sobbed, her hands come up to rub gentle slow circles on your back as you cried in her arms.

She held you for as long as it took for you to calm down. Only when you were calm did she try to redirect your attention from your troubled thoughts to your show. With a small chuckle she mumbled "oh my darling, Emily prentiss again? What episode?" To which you mumbled into her shoulder "season 4 episode 3." With attention directed else were she pulled a simple fake red rose from behind her back and called your name grabbing your attention.

"My darling Y/n, happy Mother's Day not only from your little dove in the skies above but from all the students of Nevermore that look to you for comfort, support and love. We all think the world of you and you should know how truly amazing you are. Dove may not be here but you'll always be there momma, and hopefully in a few years to come, maybe we will get to see you in action." Her speech never faulted, truth soaking every word. Had she just indirectly told you she wished to have children with you? With shakey hands you took the rose and whispered, "why not a real one Isa? She could tell by your actions alone you were confused so she readily explained her thought process, "its not a real one bc those have the capability to wilt. This one however will not. Just like your love for dove and ability to be a brilliant mother." Larissa truly believed in you. And that right there was enough for you. You truly love and miss the child you should've had every single day, but it was better for them at the time. And deep down you knew they knew that.

Word count~ 1370