Larissa x reader

Something foreign

*A/n~ feel free to request any prompts and I'll try to bring them to life enjoy this one this prompt is a little close to home for me so I hope I can do it some justice
Tw~ past abusive relationship*

Prompt ~ reader has had a bad relationship before moving to teach at nevermore. Larissa and reader are attracted to each other but reader is scared of the past repeating itself. Comforting Larissa

You'll never  allow yourself to be like that again. You can't be back to the shell you were. Yet here you am. Stood in front your boss's office door knowing you've   got those kind of feelings for the goddess that she is. You could  feel your hands trembling as you gently knock on her door and enter without waiting for the reply. She knew you was coming. After all it had become a nightly occurrence these days. At first it started as welcoming you to Nevermore. Noting your shy and reserved demeanour, you just assumed Larissa wanted to ensure her staff were okay. Never did you think it could be anymore than that. Now months later sitting on her sofa with a glass of wine it was all different. You couldn't let this happen again. You knew barely survived the first time. But the feelings raging in you for the principle seem to grow stronger every second of every day.

"Darling? I thought I'd lost you there for a second" her soft gentle voice was what broke your thoughts unknowingly stopping you going down a painful rabbit hole of path of remembering everything you'd been through.

"Oh I'm sorry Larissa. I seem to be in my own world tonight" you whispered remembering she'd asked me call her Larissa while in the privacy of her office.

"Away with the fairies then dear? Penny for your thoughts? She replied with a tone soft and curious.

An involuntary shiver ran over your body as you felt the colour draining from your face. Of course this would come up at some point. Although you've  never confessed your feelings to Larissa you knew she was starting to grow concerned over your odd actions. There was only so many excuses you could use. Sighing slightly you turned to look at the flames of the lit fire. It was time as they seemingly were dancing together in the most peaceful pattern. The orange glow created was casted around the room aiding the relaxing feeling you often felt in this room. With her.

"Before I arrived at Nevermore, I lived in a small town not too far from Jericho. While there I had a relationship well if you can call it that, It was 3 years long and I - it's sorry this is hard to talk about I'm not sure if I can-" you started trailing off words fading as your mind transported you back to your own personal hell.

Soft hands held on to my shaking ones, gently squeezing once retrieving your mind back to the present. "You don't have to tell me sweetheart it's okay. But I'm here to listen okay?"

With a small nod and a deep breath I continue " It wasn't a good relationship to say the least. It changed me for the worst. I use to be confident in my abilities and myself. She changed that. She tore me down into this shell that was so easily broken. 8 lost everyone including myself. Of course it started off fine but it happened so slowly I didn't see the signs. God I was so stupid. Some of the things that happened to me with her it's just all too much. " Tears escaped my eyes that are screwed shut as the onslaught of memories from the past played through your brain on a loop. "When I left and moved here it was a safe heaven of sorts for me. I had to rebuild who I am or was. I had no intention of falling for anyone. It would hurt too much to go back to that. But then there was you. I feel things for you that are so strong they terrify me. You could destroy me with the power you hold over me. Not just because your my boss. If I lost you ... I don't know what I'd do."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. what about me darling?"

"I- Larissa i have feelings for you- romantic ones... It terrifies me. I don't even know if your gay! But I can't ignore my feelings anymore they are too strong. I'm terrified I can't go back to a relationship like that. And it's not that I think you would... because I don't Rissa oh shit i Larissa I'm sorry I just it slipped out but I god this is hard. You're so kind and gentle and the passion you have for Nevermore warms my heart. You're absolutely breathtaking and I know you'd never hurt me in the ways she did but I'm so scared." A sob following your rushed statement as you begin process what you've just done. You had let your guard down. Panic bubbles up inside your chest as you keep watching the flames in their game of chase. Dancing after each other but never quite reaching each other.

Silence covered the room after your confession as you become trapped deeper in your own head and Larissa you assume is processing everything you had just dumped out in the open. God you were such an idiot sometimes. You had just admitted feelings. Feelings equal vulnerability. Vulnerability is dangerous it allowed you to be hurt in the most traumatic ways. God you may as well have just handed her a loaded gun and said shoot me. But this was Larissa. Not her. No Larissa was nothing like her. You knew that she wouldn't hurt you. You knew that. Yet the panic still kept rising higher and higher feeling like it was going to explode inside your chest.

Larissa was the first to break the silence pulling you from my own personal hell.
"Darling? Can I?" She opened her arms to me in a silent question. Cautiously you crawled closer shoulders tense as you was wondering where the trick would be. It had to be a trick. Why would someone do perfect want to hold you? In fact when was the last time you were held by someone? For comfort? It must have been years because try as you might you couldn't remember the last time you had felt safe in someone's arms. It wasn't long before you was wrapped in her arms finally relaxed with your head nuzzled into her neck. She has the most beautiful floral scent that you couldn't help but drink in committing it to memory for when she undoubtedly leaves. One of her hands rubbed up and down your back ever so gently tracing your spine as if she was afraid she'd break you. Sobs wrecked your body  at the small action of affection and comfort. How pathetic that a hug had reduced you into this mess. Yet here you were breaking down int he arms of your goddess. Your saviour. But it wasn't just a hug it. No it was her. For the first time in so many years you felt safe and loved.

"Hush darling it's okay. You're okay, I have you" she whispered as you continue to sob into her neck. With a feather light kiss into the crown of your head she continued. "Y/n you're so strong. And although I know I don't really know anything that you've been through I know you're strong. And telling me must have been so hard for you to do. However darling having feelings doesn't make you weak at all and you have to know I'd never hurt you like that. I couldn't do that to you." Her tone of voice showing the sincerity of her words just had you sobbing harder.

"Wh-y " I finally managed to hiccup out not knowing if she'd follow my train of thought but not able to coherently form a sentence as I tried to gain composure over my emotional state.  Why would someone as amazing as Larissa want the broken pathetic mess that was you?

"Because y/n I have feelings for you too. I didn't say anything because you didn't seem comfortable and I didn't want to spook you. But darling I'd never hurt a beautiful soul like yours. You deserve to be treated properly darling and i would happily dedicate the rest of my life to doing so."

More tears leaked from your eyes at her beautiful words. How could someone be so perfect and have feelings for you? That just didn't make sense. Sitting here wrapped in her embrace you could tell she honestly meant every word.

"No one's ever held me like this before" you shyly admitted to her once you had managed to gather a bit of control over your emotional state. Being used was what you were use to. But this was so gentle and caring you could practically feel the love radiating from her. "Could you just... could we... stay like this?"

"Of course darling for as long as you need" she replied holding you closer allowing you to feel the soft beats of her heart. "Y/n?"

"Mhmm?"

"This heart beats for you dear" she whispered with a smile when she felt your smile in her neck.

Words~ 1651

*A/n~ soft Larissa has my heart this was wrote during a particularly hard break up I was going through. I had to learn to allow people to see my emotions and to hug me again. It was hard and I hope that if anyone else is going through anything similar in relationships that you have someone to reach out to. I will always have my messages open for anyone
see you next time *