Larissa x reader

A hell of my own creation

*A/n~ reader for this one will suffer from poor mental health so if anyone struggle's please reach out.  Reader is an empath in this one. This one shot is based off a song. Hopefully this one turns out okay.*

Prompt~ reader is caught trying to cope with her emotions and expressing them in a creative way as that's what they find most helpful.

Slim fingers wrapped around the neck of the wine glass that currently was filled with the most exquisite wine. You were slumped in your chair watching the flames flickering as if they were dancing. The light was radiating from the fire pit as you sat stewing in your own thoughts. For days you'd notice the decline in your mood and behaviours. You slowly separated yourself from everyone and burying yourself in your work. It seemed as if no one noticed. You were kind of glad for that. I mean the thought of someone actually worrying about you? No that was to overwhelming. Alone was safer. You couldn't hurt anyone but yourself if you stayed alone. Of course you had classes to teach which you did. But they lacked the normal level enthusiasm you had for your subject.

Therapy was something you'd been through many times. Your Normie parents desperately wished for you to be helped. Your ability's had developed at the ripe age of eleven. This means for years you've been suffering through feeling every emotion of those around you. It's a lot especially for a child. At the age of fourteen, your parents had given up completely and you were sent to Nevermore academy. A blessing in disguise not that you knew that at the time. During your years at Nevermore you learned to accept your ability, control it and find coping strategies for when it becomes too overwhelming. Without Nevermore you can't help but imagine just how out of control your ability would be.

After graduating, you were offered a teaching position. English, your favourite subject. One you excelled at. You'd built relationships with most of the teachers while you were a student so there wasn't any stress of getting to know new people. One person in particular that you had a good bond with was the principal. Larissa Weems. Her kind, caring and almost motherly nature made her a source of comfort, for not only you but also the students of Nevermore. During your last years as a student you'd developed a friendship with the older women. Being the youngest principle that Nevermore has ever had placed Larissa only a few years above you in age. In fact you and the principle were the closest in age. Yet you admired how the blonde could be a authoritative when it was called for despite being younger than most the teachers. Some of them had been here for decades... literally.

A sudden onslaught of emotions hit you as if it were a tsunami, causing the wine glass to slip from your nimble fingers spilling its contents on the floor. Whoever had passed your quarters was going through something that much was for sure. Normally the empathetic sides of you would wish to comfort that person maybe push out some calming soothing vibes into their aura. However you were drowning in emotions, control over the ability you had processed for years dwindling fast. You sighed as you went to retrieve the items to clean up the split wine. Mindlessly you gave into your urge to vocalise your feelings. After all it was just you here.

"How long have you been smiling ? It seems like it's been too long. Some days I don't feel like trying. So what the f are you on?"
Putting on the facade of a normal you was exhausting. Yet you tried to do your best not wanting your low mood to effect others. You couldn't help but mumble "God damn this empathetic shit!" As you continued to sing out the thoughts whirling in your brain.

"I think too much. I drink too much. Falling apart like it's just nothing. I want to know where do we go when nothings wrong. Cause all the kids are depressed nothing ever makes sense. I'm not feeling alright staying up till sunrise."

The sleepless nights was something you'd grown accustomed to the past few days however it didn't mean you hated them any less. God what you'd do for a reprieve from this hell. The alcohol was definitely not helping the situation but at least it lowed the intensity of the feelings.

"Hoping shit is okay, pretending that we know things. And I don't know what happened. My natural reaction is that I'm scared." Your voice trailed off as you realised that's what this was. You were scared. Feeling all these emotions, losing your control it terrified you. What if you accidentally projected feelings onto people around you? You couldn't subject them to what you suffer. You wouldn't. So you isolated yourself. God it made so much sense.

Your isolation seemed to be cut short when a sapphire eyes beauty poked her head round your door. When had she arrived? Oddly enough you felt relieved to see her. Maybe company wouldn't be so bad? As long as you could pull the control back.

"Y/n? It's me. I brought wine" she informed you as she entered shutting the door. In her hand was the exact wine you'd just spilt. A tiny smile graced your lips at the thought. Someone cared. She cared.

"Thank you larissa." You took a deep breath standing and putting your cleaning supplies away before getting to glasses assuming she'd drink with you. Of course she would. After all you were friends right.

"Y/n can I ask you something?" Her whispered question made you falter on your way back to the chair you'd originally taken purchase on. All you could do is nod and wait on bated breath for her question. Unknowingly your control faltered and her emotions hit you. Hard. They were so strong a gasp was forced from you. Concern was the strongest. Then there was care and contentment mixed with nervousness? You made her nervous? Your head was spinning at the onslaught as you blinked rapidly attempting to get back in control of this.

"Y/n i - are you struggling dear? I could feel you as I walked past on my rounds. It was so strong it's why I'm checking on you. I thought the wine would cheer you up a little. What's wrong y/n? can I help?" Her questions were rapid fire most seeming to be rhetorical. Yet still you explained everything as she sat in the other chair eyes fixed on yours nodding along in the appropriate places.

"Why didn't you come to me? We are friends right?" She questioned her voice sounding so small and unsure of herself. Dammit this was not how you wanted to cause her to feel. Carefully you pushed reassuring vibes into her aura watching as her shoulders relaxed slightly. This reaction had your lips turning up ever so slightly at the corners.

"I didn't want you to feel what I feel Rissa. It's a lot even for me and I deal with it daily... I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else so I just took myself off to deal with it alone. It's just so overwhelming. I feel so alone. Why do I have to have the ability that feels like a curse? " the next thing you knew you were held in a tight hug which was intended to be comforting. And suddenly everything seemed to be more manageable.

Word count ~ 1274