Larissa x reader

Youre safe my love| h&c

*Authors note ~this is such a touchy subject so I'm going to do my best to handle it delicately*

Trigger warnings~ child abuse mentions of death and cervical cancer :(

Prompt~ tumblr anon~ Hello, lovely!
1 have been admiring your fics for a long while and wanted to request a Larissa/ student femme reader in which R was abused as a child and has an aversion to touch, but needs a physical (which they have an understandable phobia to).
Something hurt/comfort where Larissa holds them through the exam.
Thank you in advance
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Your childhood was no secret from your girlfriend, she knew the horrors you'd been subjected to at such a young age, and how they still affected you to this day. That's one of the main reasons you were able to keep your relationship under wraps for so long. Your aversion to touch had been there for as long as you could remember. Anyone who would even just poke you in a teasing manner would cause a meltdown.

That was fine for a while, sure you had those moments like every other person where a simple hug could really go a long way in comforting you, but you couldn't allow anyone near to you and no one wanted to anyway which left you to learn the act of self soothing. All of that changed when you met Larissa Weems.

At first you would freeze up, she was never sure why, then you'd shake and finally cry. It was like you were terrified of her. With Larissa's issues herself, other partners wanting her to shift into other people, you knew it was best to sit down and tell her everything. That night was filled with many tears and no matter how much the older woman longed to hold you in her arms and soothe all the pain away, she didn't want to risk upsetting you further. You had these boundaries for a very good reason, together you'd work to lower them, but that all takes time.

Larissa was amazingly patient with you, never pushing for more, encouraging you to self soothe however you needed, even dealing with youre regression. As a coping mechanism you tended to slip into little headspace, where you were even more terrified of affection. However, Larissa wasn't expecting the first time you allowed her to hold, to be in headspace. But it was and she made sure to respect boundaries as soon as you said "no more" she stopped. It was much like that until you found yourself seeking the taller woman out for comfort.

It had taken sometime and lot of patience and determination but you were finally ready to let Larissa and her only touch you. It was oddly relaxing to be in her arms, Larissa let you be there as much as you wanted, never wanting to turn down any form of affection and you regress back into avoiding it. It had been used to hurt you so much in the past, she wanted to show you the other side. What it could be like.

You knew you had a medical exam coming up, smear test, and you were absolutely terrified. Only Larissa could touch you. Especially there. When the letter came you broke down to your girlfriend pleading with her to not make you go. But it was for your health so Larissa couldn't make that deal, instead she made a new offer, "how about I come with you sweetheart, I'll make sure she doesn't her my girl hm ?" Even that new offer took hours of persuading and encouraging you to agree with.

The day of the exam arrived and you were an absolute nervous wreck. Larissa was truly a god send, never overstepping any boundaries and always trying to soothe your anxiety. She knew how hard this would be for you but unfortunately this was something that needed to be done, one day it could potentially save your life. Larissa told you of her dear friend Caroline, who had this test, the test diagnosed her cervical cancer. Unfortunately Larissa lost her friend as the cancer was too aggressive and in too late of the stages to save her. You could tell by the way she got choked up that if that was to happen to you she'd be broken. That's the only reason why you even agreed to do this. For her.

Laying on that table, feeling all exposed, was triggering off your panic attacks. As if your girlfriend knew that she spoke to the news before coming to sit behind you. Your head propped up against her chest.  Both your hand joined together and she would drop kisses to your head every now and then. "Isa. Don't let her hurt me. Please I'll be good. Please Isa" you whimpered as tears began to fall. The exam hadn't even started yet but you were terrified. "I won't darling. It's okay you can feel me yes?" She queried and you nodded sniffling. "That's good baby. Focus on that okay?" She murmured as you nodded.

Mid way through the examination you sobbed, turning your head to burry it into her chest, the nurse looked up at your girlfriend concerned only to be met with the shake of her head. The silent conversation you were completely unaware of, "Isa hurts" you whimpered as you cried into her. "I know baby I know, you're almost there darling. You're doing so well. Such a good girl" she murmured over and over as one of her hands rubbed at your back, the angle awkward but she'd cope with it. Anything to make you feel better.

Truthfully, the exam was over rather quickly, the nurse slipping from the room, allowing you to calm down and re dress. Larissa sat there as you shifted to cuddle into her more closely, "it's okay baby. All done. You did so well. I'm so proud of you beautiful. Let's get you dressed and we can go back and have a nice bath or cuddle on the bed okay?"she whispered as you nodded. The pads of her thumbs came to wipe your tears before helping you get dressed again. You'd done it now, Larissa would look after you and make sure you were never hurt again. You knew that.

Word count ~ 1050