What Is Love? Wanderer X Reader

It shouldn't be Chap.18

Another while passed, Lately whenever you were with Wanderer he seemed distant despite being there with you, and he himself knew the reason why which was because, something was eating away at him from the inside and It was because of these feelings he'd suddenly had coming up, despite him long being done with his past life he felt a certain guilt inside of him for hiding It from you, and It'd gotten much worse to the point where Nahida even noticed something was up. he thought It was absurd for him to feel this way but he couldn't lie to himself, after coming into his life like this and making him experience all these things he'd come to really care about you, no matter how much he tried to deny It he couldn't escape the truth.

It was In the afternoon and Wanderer returned to the Akademiya, and once inside the Sanctuary he walked past Nahida as she was on her swing but then he sat on the floor

Nahida cocked her head, she stopped swinging "Is something wrong?"

"No...I'm just tired" he said

Nahida sighed, "I see, but you're going to have to try harder if you want to lie to me"

Wanderer took off his hat, "Right...."

Nahida hopped off her swing, "What's wrong maybe I can help"

"I don't think It's possible...even for you"

she walked over to stand in front of him, "Let me guess...It has to do with (Y/n) right"

his lips curved but then fell, "Always on top of things...as usual"

Nahida then sat on her knees, "I can tell, besides you've been sighing so much these past few days not to mention the look In your eyes has become lonely again"

he was taken aback, and brought a hand to his face "Really..."

"Yes, and It's because of her right?"

Wanderer looked at his hand, "how'd I let things get this far...this wasn't supposed to happen, me caring about someone like this..."

Nahida scooted closer, "What's happened can't be undone, and that goes for everything within the flow of time, Wanderer, your care for (Y/n) and change of heart is nothing to-"

he looked away, "To be Upset about? but it is...I told myself before I'd never allow myself this ever again, but I became friends with her and now the way I feel has...changed"

Nahida's eyes widened, "Changed? do you mean...are you In love?"

a blush came to his cheeks, "That's Impossible..."

"To you maybe, I know you always say you don't have a heart but you've had one inside of you all along, and now that heart has brought something wonderful to you"

Wanderer closed his eyes, "the only reason I started talking to her at first was because she Intrigued me, but then...the more she talked to me, reached out to me and grabbed me by the hand...I felt...happy, I never thought It was possible to be that happy and...free, I don't know when I started feeling this way but...these feelings terrify me"

he clenched his hand into a fist, "I have to put an end to this...all of this before It's too late,"

"But why? If you care about her why do you want to end It"

Wanderer clenched the fabric on his chest, "Because! these hands have sinned...In the past but I'm no good for anyone...I could hurt her"

Nahida had never seen him this upset nor had he ever raised his voice at her, so she knew this was serious and that he was probably In pain right now, and very conflicted too

his Indigo eyes stared up at the ceiling, "And that's why I'm going to tell her who and what I am"

"Wanderer...is this what you want? If you push her away now It'll only cause great pain"

Wanderer stood up, and he didn't look at her "Yes...It is, remember I'm not like you"

he put his hat back on, before he stormed out of the Sanctuary, slamming the door behind him.