Love Always, From Mayberry

Chapter thirty nine

I previously had spent the night with Madison many times in my elementary and middle school years but this would be my first sleepover in Mayberry. Dad was reluctant to let me go having not known Allison's parents but Allison  actually didn't live far from our house and I think dad could sense I needed some time with some girl friends.

"At least it's not that Callie girl you run around with. She's a little strange don't you think?" Dad was definitely in an irritable mood. Callie was nothing but sweet and kind. Dad had always had a bad habit of being overly critical.

"I don't care for the way she dresses. She looks like a vampire. I'm glad you've made some other friends." Dad continued watching whatever game was replaying on the television. I decided to end the conversation before he got irritated enough to not allow me to leave the house but his rude comments about Callie did bother me. Since his and moms' separation he had became such a negative person.

Pulling up to Allison's house I couldn't help but think of the night I'd been here with Callie. The night I seen Steven with Jennifer, which was also the night I became his girlfriend. The spring night air was slightly chilly, I was glad I brought a jacket. It was dark outside but they had left Allison's porch light on for me. There wasn't lights shining from the building or music blasting like there had been the night of the party. I wish Steven and I could just go back. I remembered the joy I had felt the night he asked me to be his-no matter how short lived it turned out to be.

I sent Allison a text letting her know I was there. I didn't want to wake anyone up.

"Girl, just come on in anytime! You don't have to knock or text." Bethany was loudly yelling out the front door that she had busted open. I laughed at the fact Bethany was answering Allison's door. Bethany was in her pjs which wasn't any different than her school attire.

I followed Bethany into Allison's room. Being in her house made me think of Steven. What didn't make me think of Steven? Her younger sister that wasn't there the night of the party is also in Allison's room among my friends. She was a short chunky girl with a large chocolate covered grin. She was obviously enjoying time with her older sister. It appeared as if Allison had been playing with the young girls hair as she was sitting in the floor in front of the bed with half her hair in a braided pig tail.

Allison smiles up at me from her seated position on her bed with her younger sister between her legs.

"Whit-this is Molly, my sister. She's in 6th grade but she thinks she's 30." Molly continued to smile at me as Allison braided her hair.

"I've always envied Molly's red hair." Allison didn't look up from her task.

"Steven's your boyfriend? He's cute." Molly's smile became even more prominent. Allison playfully hit the top of Molly's red head.

"It's ok, yes, he is my boyfriend." I smiled sweetly back at the young girl. He may not be for long but I was holding onto the title as long as I could. As pathetic as it was I had decided not to mention the kiss between him and the other Callie to Steven. I was keeping quiet so I could keep him a little longer. When he was completely tired of me, I was sure he'd end things.  Monica looks at me sympathetically. I knew the whole room, other than Molly, knew. And I knew they felt pity for me, which was honestly a large part of why they invited me in the first place, I was realizing.

I hear a phone buzzing almost continuously.
"Whitney, that's your bag going off." Bethany nonchalantly states.

Molly makes several "Whitney and Steven" comments/jokes as I search my bag for my phone. It wasn't Steven but several text messages from Presley. Gosh what have I started?, I thought to myself. I quickly put my phone back before they start questioning me. I wasn't wanting to introduce the concept of Presley and prom out loud yet.

As Allison was finishing up Molly's hair. Monica pats the bed for me to come. I look on the nightstand and see an electric warming bowl with melted wax in it.

"Hey, come let me wax your eyebrows. Not saying you need them done but I've been waxing my own to save money. Let me try it on you." I'm sure my face was that of terror.

"I've never waxed anything." I admit to my friends. I'd never even thought of it. I realize that maybe part of my problem. The more I was around girls my own age the more I realized I didn't put anywhere near as much effort in my own appearance than most did. Maybe if I did, I could keep Steven. This dangerous way of thinking would unfortunately follow me my entire life. If only I was prettier, skinnier, etc I could achieve what I wanted in life. I could be happy with who I wanted. From then on out that became my misguided way of thinking.

The warmth of the wax was actually soothing. I had no idea why girls said it was painful-then I felt it-the agonizing rip. This was a procedure that hurt beyond what I could have imagined. Bethany and Allison laughed with each scream. Molly left the room.

"Both of you be quiet. Her hair is thicker than both of yours put together. No wonder it's painful for her." Monica smiles down at me with a sweet smile. She had a protective, mothering nature, much like Callie.

Allison gets up and walks over to a full length mirror.
"I've put on so much weight since Drew and Jody started dating." She frowns at her own reflection. Drew and Jody were Mayberry High official. Allison seemed to have moved on pretty well, however. I wasn't sure how she had became so at peace with it. They had been a couple since middle school. I look at Allison's reflection and I'm baffled she would ever worry with her weight. She had a tall, slender frame. She also had blonde hair and blue eyes like myself but her hair was straight and thin while mine was thick and frizzy like a lion's mane. I was significantly more heavy than her. With my short frame, it was easy for me to put on weight. I'd never really paid much attention to my weight until that moment.

Allison moves from the mirror as I step forward. My face had became red from the waxing procedure. I became aware of my weight for the first time. My arms almost looked manly to me. I had a double chin when I smiled. It was an instant feeling of panic that overcame me. Looking back I realize I may have had a bit of an obsessive personality. As obsessed as I had been over Steven, I became almost as obsessed with my weight and appearance. I had somehow intertwined the idea that if I lost weight, Steven wouldn't ever leave. Life would be perfect. God, I wish somebody had told me when I was younger, this wasn't the way.